Welcome to Gaia! ::

I do not think you are wrong, but I think you might be a bit harsh on him. I think of meat sort of like I think of cigarettes. Legal, bad for you, and addictive. Some smokers can stop cold turkey. And that's great. But others can't. They need to very slowly cut down. Same goes for meat eaters. I didn't stop cold turkey. I slowly weaned myself off it. It wasn't too bad for me. But everyone is different. Someone who loves meat and hates vegetables, for example, might need a lot of time to be weaned.

My partner eats meat, is very picky, and isn't crazy about vegetables. So his weaning is going very slow. He buys the meat with his money, and I cook it. I don't love cooking it, but I don't feel that cooking it necessarily makes me any less of a veg. Because I understand that going veg is not instant for most people. In fact, it's really really hard for most. And to make matters worse, meat is everywhere, and it's often inexpensive (99 cent cheeseburgers?).

So I can understand not wanting it in your house. But if your partner isn't ready to go full blown veg right now, something isn't going to work. And it's either going to be your no meat rule or your relationship. Because you're essentially telling him that he isn't allowed to keep, cook, or eat his food at home.

So it might be better to let him have meat in the house, even if he has to buy with his own money, cook it, and clean the pan after. Meatless alternatives are getting tastier and tastier too. So you can slowly introduce those to him.

But keep in mind how hard the transition is for most people. Try to be supportive and encouraging without placing too many strict rules. I think nagging and strict rules turn most people off to healthy foods because then it makes it seem like a chore.

My partner had no interest in going veg before he met me. So I was starting from scratch when it came to educating him and trying different meatless foods. Luckily, I have found a few meatless things that he really enjoys such as Morningstar Farms chicken patties, Boca spicy chicken patties, and Tofurky sausage. So while he certainly isn't veg yet, he is cutting down on the meat.

And we have talked about children. He knows that I don't want them eating meat, and he supports that. He also knows that I would make meat out to be "the bad guy," not him. If he's still eating meat by that time, I'd let the kids know that meat is bad and sort of addictive, but it's not daddy's fault because when daddy was little people didn't know quite as much about it as we know now. So now daddy is working hard to get weaned. And maybe it'll be even easier for him when he has a two year old encouraging him. wink

I certainly understand what you mean about not liking the smell. And you shouldn't have to violate your beliefs by cooking meat for him or anyone else. It does sound like the more you find things you both like to eat, the easier the situation will be. The Tofurky-sausage suggestion is one I know works with die-hard meat eater.

I knew one couple, she a vegan, he a meat eater, who feed their daughter depending on who is doing the cooking. When she's cooking, their daughter gets all vegan food, but when it's his time with the daughter, he makes available non-vegan options. I'd be uncomfortable with an arrangement like that myself. I too would want my children raised vegan, though it would be their option whether they stick with it later in their life.

Personally, I agree with your wholeheartedly on not wanting meat to even be in the house. But If I do marry a meat eater*cough cough, if my meat addicted partner learns to cook* there will be meat in the house. I would make him do everything to do with the meat himself, I would have no part in it.
Luckily, my S.O. knows how to cook only with a microwave, so he'd prolly only eat meat when we went out to eat or somthing, because I'd be making a yummy vegan meal every night.
If he wanted to go vegetarian, I'd have a heart attack.

But let him know that the smell of it makes you sick.
Mabye he'd be willing to eat meat that was, say, cold "lunch meats" for sandwiches, or on the grill and when you go out to eat? So you don't have to smell it cooking?
My S.O. has agreed that if he is to eat meat in our house, whenever we move in together, he will prepare any meat for him to eat, and tend to the clean up.
(and definently get seperate cutting boards!!!)