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Heh... Wrote this in response to all the whining and moaning about rare/holiday eggs.

A Modest Proposal

I am sure that it has been brought to everyone's attention of late that not everyone can be the proud owner of a fast internet connection and good reflexes. And, thus, it is absolutely futile for some people to hope to grab desirable eggs. Yes? Well, isn't that jus unfair! Because the current system of stealing eggs from the cave caters only to those quick enough to grab the egg first.

Now that's just mean! Because, you see, it pits all of us against each other, causing all sorts of petty arguments.

This is a problem that must be fixed! And, of course, here is my modest proposal on exactly how to remedy this problem.

Now, I am sure it is fairly easy to compile a list of the most desirable dragons in the cave, those being mainly metallics, holiday dragons, papers, and dinos. Yes? Well, as with all things desirable and special, they are rare. As in, not easy to get. But, this just isn't fair to people who want them but either don't have the time or good internet connection to get them! I mean, why should some people be allowed to hoarde these rare dragons when other people can't even manage to get one?

It's just not fair!

Therefore, certain restrictions must be implemented in order to... shall we say level the playing field?

First! Upon creating a DragCave account, everyone should be given the option of choosing a "starter rare". That's right! Give all those newbies a list of the rare dragons and allow them to choose the one they like best. That way, everyone has at least one rare, coveted dragon on their scroll. What's that? This will make the dragons less special?

Why should we care about that! The challenge of actually grabbing the eggs is absolutely insignificant in comparison to the ideals of fairness and keeping everyone happy. So go ahead, give those newbies "starter rares"! It will be better for everyone in the long run, because no one will be able to complain about not getting these rare eggs.

Second, limitations must be implemented. That is, something to prevent the evil-doers of the site from hoarding their rare dragons and keeping them from everyone else on DragCave. Because that's just not right, either! It is my opinion that everyone should only be allowed one of each rare dragon. Then, when they manage to breed or grab others, those eggs go directly to the scrolls of people who don't have them. No! Not ther abandoned page, because, again, the abandoned page fosters that idea of competition that no one really likes because of the unfairness of it! Then, when everyone on the site has one of each rare species, then everyone will be allowed a second. Sound fair enough? Keeps everyone on even footing, doesn't it?

That, to me, seems like the only way to make DragCave fair for everyone. With all of this needless competition for eggs, things just aren't fair because the chances for people to catch these rare eggs just aren't equal.

Now, this brings me to the subject of those coveted event dragons. We are all aware that some people join after an event has happened, correct? Well, why should they be excluded? When they join, let's automatically put one egg from each event they missed onto their scroll, so they can have a complete scroll just like the older members! No one needs to miss out! The notion that some people just can't get certain eggs is just mean! Share the wealth! Let new members have some fun, too!

Of course, that leaves us with the problem of the people who do have an account when the event takes place but, for whatever reason, couldn't get an egg. Well, that's just silly! Why should they have to miss out on anything? Instead of dropping event dragons at the cave, why don't we just automatically add three to each scroll, so everyone can have their adult of each gender and frozen hatchling! Then if people decide they don't want three, they can gift their third egg to people who may want four. But, with this system, everyone can get just as many eggs as they would like. No senseless competition or unfairness of having people miss out! It's just an overall better system.

So, in summation, here is my modest proposal to rid DragCave of the evil of competition!
Step one: Give a "starter rare" to all newbies so they don't feel left out when they don't have any rares.
Step two: Implement limitations so everyone has equal amounts of each rare species on their scroll, sending any excess rares directly to the scrolls of those who haven't gotten their fair share yet.
Step three: Immediately give people who weren't around for an event eggs from whatever events they missed before joining, so they, too, can have complete scrolls.
Step four: Automatically send three event eggs to everyone on the site, so everyone can have a complete set of event dragons.

If we take all of these steps, we can move towards a better, friendlier DragCave not torn apart by competition and rare dragon hoarders who stop the rest of us from getting our fair share of all of those highly coveted eggs that we want so much!

Take this seriously and I slap you with a fish!

When I was reading this I was saying to myself "I hope you're not serious about this!" Thankfully, you aren't. xd

Oops, theres a perfect example of my speed typing skills. I missed the "nt" in Arent.
And, well, you never know.

>.< can i take a guess right quick and say that this was inspired by Swifts modest proposal

Thank god at least on person got it! I'm seriously amazed at how many people have no clue about literature these days.

this is brilliant btw.

Well, even if not everyone got the allusion to Swift, I had hoped that my suggestions were ridiculous enough for people to understand that I wasn't seriously suggesting them.

But then I got yelled at on the DC forums for suggesting a bunch of things on the "don't suggest" list. And when I tried to explain that these weren't real suggestions, I got yelled at once again for posting suggestions that had already been shot down. People on DC forums don't seem to understand sarcasm....

XD When I started reading, I began to make a mental list of things to say in return (I'm competitive like that). I got to the bottom and saw your little post-note and immediately began to crave fish. xd

Are there seriously people out there who think like that?