Okay, first off let me say Canoake is an interesting character, and I love the way you're going with her. And I understand you can't fit all of this into a character form or it would be really tl;dr. XD This crit is mostly here for you to think about your character, not necessarily rewrite her profile. Now... let me break the crit down bit by bit.
Personality: Overall, she has the potential for a lot of flaws. In her form I don't see a lot of these played up. Seeing yourself as a Gold is quite arrogant, don't you think? And also pretty delusional. It feels like she should be more cut throat if she's so intent on being top dog, especially because she views friends as "tethers."
Naree
f it's male, even if it's female, Canoake exists to charm them. She loves being loved and is selfish for attention. Whether she has to exaggerate what tasks and responsibilities she has been given for the day or finding new ways to lower the neckline of her shirts, Canoake wants to be noticed.
This is really interesting. So basically, she wants to be the center of attention, or does she just want attention period? I think this is a great flaw. Maybe clarify?
Naree
Not to say this is a bad thing, especially for one living in the weyr who wants more out of her life than to be the espoused of a cavern worker or married off to a cot holder. No, no. Canoake has plans and plans to make sure her plans succeed. Because of this, she is an excellent organizer and plotter. She has a way with people that can either come off as manipulative or charming, depending on what has to be done and who she is trying to charm.
Ahh, here is the meat of the character, I think. Canoake is very manipulative which is great, and you need to expand upon this. Is she competitive? Is she secretly vicious, but pretends to be Faranth's gift to Pern? Does she trample people on her way 'to the top?' Is she jealous of others, envious, and does she lash out at them? Does she sit alone at night and plot the downfall of certain people who are in her way, or people she dislikes? Is she judgmental- and what about grudges and forgiveness, what does she think about those?
What other bad traits does she have, that are a result of her manipulative nature? All ready you've said she can be two-faced; she can either appear scheming or a sweetheart, which is awesome.
Naree
Very rarely does she let anyone past the shell that she has erected around her true self, the person she can be most honest with when she is alone and out of the spotlight.
Hmm, here you need to think if her inner-self acts the same way as her outer-self. What is she like on the 'inside'? Keep in mind that for most people, what they present on the outside has to come from
somewhere. For example, say I was a petty person on the inside. Even if I didn't want people to see this part of me, it would still leak out in aspects of my personality. On the outside, I might get angry if things don't go my way. I might try to sabotage people to watch them fail. I might lie a lot about how I really feel. See what I mean? Small facets of personality can all stem from a single trait inside someone.
Naree
And because of this, she allows herself to be underestimated and unappreciated until it is time for her to come in and save the day.
That's interesting! So despite wanting attention, she pretends to be humble until she sees an opportunity to show everyone who really kicks butt?
I wonder how she feels when she has to be unappreciated and underestimated. Especially in Telgar, where misogyny is sort of a natural thing.
Naree
Though she knows she is not any better than any of the other weyrbrats, she hopes to be and tries her hardest to make a lasting impression on those who matter most.
Hmm, this contradicts her very personality. She thinks she's a Gold dragon, and Golds definitely know they're the best. So shouldn't Canoake think she's better, too?
Naree
Canoake has no true friends for which she regrets but friends are only tethers that hold one back from progressing forward in life.
This fits very well with her personality, I think. Right here you insinuate that she's very cutthroat; Canoake doesn't really believe in "friendship," she believes in "connections" to get her where she wants to be.
Naree
Who knows? Maybe one day, her connections will lead her out of the caverns and into the glow light where she believes she truly belongs.
Again here you say that she believes she "truly belongs" in the spotlight (and above everyone else). This wraps up her entire character in a single sentence. Make sure to keep that consistent, it's a great flaw for a character.
Other notes: When you say she's coupled with Bronze and Brownriders, perhaps she should also have slept with Blue and Greenriders too (maybe even make it a point of regret/disgust, if she thinks Greens/Blues aren't worth her time).
As for her body, does she have any "flaws", like freckles, moles, birth marks, scars, etc? Right now her appearance is very attractive, but also a little too perfect. Even models have flaws with their bodies.
Also interesting to think about. You point out that she's very feminine, and at Telgar I imagine that would garner her even worse discrimination then, perhaps, a tomboy or a more masculine female. Just something to think about.
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