Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ezra- Yeah, I just read the new chapter. Super sad face. : (

IM NOT SLEEPING IM JUST BACKREADING THE GUILD AND THIS IS *STILL* A REALLY GOOD THREAD SO: LETS BUMP THIS b***h

1. espresso machine
i bought ben (me) an espresso machine for his birthday and its just. its so ******** good. its basically changed my life. if im not using it to make HIGH QUALITY COFFEE DRINKS (peppermint mochas! cappuccinos!) i can make ******** BOMB-a** hot chocolate or steam milk for chai or WHATEVER. its so good omfg.
2. lorde
i love her so much i want to cry about it. she's just so good and like way too good to be as popular as she is and ********.
3. typography
im sorry i dont want to have the most obnoxiously hipster list ever but ive been working on learning how to hand-letter fonts & its been a lot of fun! learning new art s**t is cool & i like it
4. orange soda
i just drink a lot of orange soda. sierra mist used to be my go-to non caffeinated drink but then for a bit we had both sprite & orange soda and i only chose the orange soda. so now its mostly just orange soda. it's yummy!
5. david foster wallace essays
sorry guys i cant stop the hipster i cant stop it. DFW is an author, he wrote the book Infinite Jest. he's my favorite author. i've been reading his nonfiction essays. they're really good.
6. new computer
its used actually. its from 2008. its a mac pro and its CRAZY powerful and there's nothing wrong w it and i got it AND a 24 inch dell monitor for ridic cheap from a friend. i love it so much.
7. journalling
i started journalling regularly again back in october and it's been REALLY constructive and productive and now it's one of my go to activities when i feel really overwhelmed. it helps a lot i like it!!
8. giving myself a break
but seriously. i dont suck! its nice to not suck
9. not being dirt-poor
it sucked a lot and every day im not quite that poor is a good ******** day
10. everyone else here being seemingly happy and healthy!


omg its like mid march 2015 and im not interested in making a new post but i am interested in editing this one as a last minute attempt to put off doing my homework so, here u go

1. minecraft
i host an anarcho communist server and its so ******** kickass (hilmonandco.wordpress.com eyyyyy)
2. coffee
ptsd triggered insomnia all up in my s**t rn, nothing fancy to this one i just am sort of living on it
3. a roommate who can and does cook
god BLESS
4. uh, said roommate
my literal fav person & we spent years not living together and it sucked and now we do again and it doesnt suck
5. the idea in my head of having a place to live
we applied for a place, maybe we will get it? ? not being in limbo is the alt name of this one
6. bowties
i had to buy one for a wedding im going to next week and im stoked abt it its so cute
7. spring
my SAD is hells of into spring, bless
8. finishing this quarter of school early
its because im going out of town for a wedding and also i still have the move to do but it still is an extra week of time where i have ZERO THINGS DUE (not actually true because i have my final project for a graphics class that needs to be submitted online, and also a final i need to do online, but NO CLASS so probably whatever?)
9. friend from minnesota will be here tomorrow
she's moving in w ben and hawthornes & i and im s t o k e d because she doesn't start work right away and is ******** able bodied and can DO THINGS which is good due to how i desperately need help doing things
10. friends being on netflix? also netflix in general
p much only way i can get to sleep h a


what u gonna do abt it? its 2016 and im ADDING TO THIS POST. this post is a journal now. thanks.

1. therapy
like i have a proper trauma therapist now??? and so I'm actually getting better? CRAZY. it's crazy. it's so good.
2. polyamory
aww yeah lettin this list be weird. im just dating whoever i want to rn and its going Well and I love it??? i just kiss whoever i want to! i have Multiple Boyfriends!! what a life.
3. going back to school
i took a year off after i got ultra sick and now im going back and im excited
4. financial aid money
the reason im excited tbh
5. Being a Boy
heyyy all 2.5 ppl who head over here and end up reading this. im trans. im out as a Dude. thanks u.
6. swimming
i have a YMCA membership and i swim ALL THE TIME and so now im kind of ripped???? and its the best part of my day so often.
7. my roomies
we're a family!!! there's three of us and we are Living Our Lives together and its just nice and supportive and i never have to feel anxious about hanging out with the people i live with OR spend much time alone and it's just nice!
8. jello
jello is gross and i cant stop eating it. help me
9. The Raven Cycle
LISTEN i read these books in may/june and it was a big deal and then my roomie read them and next my boyf is gonna read them and im VERY excited! they are good. i like books.
10. being a grown up
its cool. im buying a bed in a few weeks, like a proper grown up one. being a grown up is my favorite.

what up to my favorite journal post on a mostly-dead guild on a site i havent frequented in the better part of a decade. its time for a list of 10 things i like in my life right now! (late april 2017)
1. pottery
my boy got really into it and wanted me to join him so he could show me his stuff and ask me for help at the actual studio instead of having to wash his hands all the time to send me pics. anyway i got super into it and now i spend 3 days a week at a pottery studio. i have yet to touch a wheel.
2. basically being an art major
i'm "not an art major" which means 100% of my electives are art classes but i dont have to take a single art history class.
3. thursdays & fridays
the best days of my week bc i hang out with THE BAE extra on them
4. being SO OLD (26 in a week l o l)
listen the older i get the cooler my life gets and the chiller i get (or the chiller about never being chill, maybe) and so far as i can figure aging is a SWEET GIG
5. being an art ho
straight up i got *good* at art i guess and now i do it pretty seriously all the time.
6. the mountain goats
how have i not put them on a list before??? they are my fav band and john darnielle regularly saves my life.
7. not being a hipster ********
i was such a hipster ********, bless past me. anyway now i listen to a lot of my chemical romance and panic at the disco and fall out boy and watch s**t like the lego movie and don't smoke. its a good life.
8. not being a smoker
i quit a lil before xmas and its blessed. dont smoke kids.
9. dead s**t
i like dead s**t.
10. being *so close* to having a degree
i get my aa in 2 quarters and i can TASTE IT. i'm going to get my bachelors after that or w/e, but i've never graduated from anything in my life and i'm very, very, very excited about it. i have six classes left after this quarter!!!!!!


what up! its november 2018 and im makin a list!!!!!
1. my kids
i got kids since the last time i posted!!! theyre 2 and 4 and i have ADOPTED THEM and they are named lia and rose, irrespectively, and one of them is bouncing on the couch right now and the other is taking an hour to eat 3 chicken nuggets
2. whats a way to put "I had a house fire since the last time i edited this post" in a format that fits the thee? maybe "my house not burning down right now"
my partner & i bought a house last year and then 6 months after we bought it it burned down. we're coming up on the year anniversary of it. having a house burn down S U C K S. yes, i was in it. yes, i know what started it. no, i dont want to talk about it. yes, everyone was okay. no, our stuff wasnt. no, the house wasnt.
3. being ENGAGED
i got engaged in september i love being engaged. fiance isnt a gendered term so i dont have to out my partner by default. im super stoked to have a wedding
4. mumford and sons dropped an album today
i havent listened to it but im excited to.
5. living in a non s**t place
we been livin in portland since april because spokane, where we lived before, had Nothing For Us after our house fire. i was gonna stay there for my bachelors but then OUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN and my partner's family is in portland so here i am. spokane sucked and i like iliving in a proper city with real life liberals.
6. DND
i started a proper D&D campaign in like june and its gr8 and my half orc paladin groggmar is probably the greatest dnd character ever conceived. hes lawful good and i love him
7. scary stuff
im watchin some SCARY STUFF and also readin some SCARY STUFF and its very legitimizing to my trauma, a thing of which i have A Lot of. not to be Like That, but ie if someone made an accurate biopic of my life it would be, if not horror, then one of those movies like Room that are suuuuper ******** up, and u just dont see media like that unless you seek out the ******** up s**t. its nice to see ******** up s**t and be like "ah, yes. same."
8. testosterone
oh my GOD. testosterone is GREAT, you guys. holy s**t. it makes all of your problems go away and be replaced by better, sexier problems. plus u get to be like "I stab myself in the thigh weekly with a needle and i dont even think its a big deal" and sometimes ppl think u are very brave and tough for this (i am brave and tough but not for this)
9. i have a lil degree
i got what i am calling my Baby Bear Degree at the end of the last school year. its an associates of the arts degree. i am going to teach & have a bachelors to finish and a masters to get, which are going to be the Mama Bear Degree and the Papa Bear Degree respectively. anyway im CRAZY proud of myself and im excited and terrified to go back to school next fall (I am taking a year off to establish residency but ALSO because i would like a break after a house fire, out of state move, and 8 months of various degrees of homelessness)
10. writing poetry
i asked my fiance and they said to put that here. "you wrote a poem in the last week at least!" they said, and that's true. i finished a chapbook a few months ago and have another in the works. im also writing a book! i forgot i was writing a book but i am. i mean its nano right now and i'm doing nano but outside of nano i'm writing a book about exes and gods and the convergence of those two things. i think it's actually pretty good but it s weird so who knows if itll go anywhere. the novel im writing for nano is probably too much about sex to have a full and active life outside of november or the confines of my computer but its no big deal.

lmao i thought i put one on here in the resurgence but i guess not. anyway its lmao nov 2022 heres 10 things im into or whatever.

1. crows. top animal top dudes my crows rule i love them. i feed a family of crows and have been for a year or so, they are metropolis, singer sower, powerpole, and 2 babies. i love them. i love them so much.

2. curses. in love with isnt right but into is. been in my curses era since like 2016 and its still going strong

3. oh no this is my weirdest list yet. number three is ancient rome. love those awful men heart

4. bud light

5. catholocism
like from over here u know

6. baking bread. WHY IS MY CRUMB TEXTURE ALWAYS SO TIGHT ?????

7. open and kind communication smile

8. geography. learned the flags this summer and im continuing to be weird about it

9. girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend girlfriend

10. trying 2 keep my head above water lmao lmao