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 Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 4:57 pm
I. Hate. My. Parents.
My sister and I don't want our parents reading our admissions essays for college. Mine? It's really, really personal and I know my parents will make fun of it because they just don't understand my relationship with music. And they've made fun of every. single. piece of writing I've shown them AND ones they decided to read just because they were snooping through my stuff.
So, after my sister declined my dad's offer to look over her essay, I got the whole, "I was the first one in my family to go to college and I would have LOVED to have someone I could go to for advice" lecture from my mom.
The problem?
THEY CAN'T GIVE ME ADVICE!
They DON'T know what I'm going through!
Yes, they went through the whole college application process. But THEIR process was DIFFERENT!
I am applying to music schools! THEY didn't have to go through the HELL of preparing for AUDITIONS! THEY didn't have to worry about rehearsing with an ACCOMPANIST and FINDING that accompanist! THEY didn't have to write their essay about why music is such an INTEGRAL part of their lives that they would want to TEACH it!
You know what? THEY HAD IT EASIER!
With THEM, it was fill out the application, score high on the SAT, have a respectable GPA, and then that's it, they're done. Me? OH, NO!
My SCORES will get me into the MAIN college! For the music program? IT'S ALL ABOUT THE AUDITION! If THEY had a bad day they could finish the application the next day, sign up for the next SAT test date, write a better essay later, etc. GUESS WHAT?! I DON'T GET THAT LUXURY! If I have a "bad day" the day of the audition, I'M SCREWED! All the school scares about is how well I perform. They don't CARE if I didn't get any sleep at night because of nerves, or if I have allergies, etc. If I don't give my ABSOLUTE BEST performance THE FIRST TIME I don't get in!
The accompanist hits wrong chord and throws me off? TOO BAD! I should have sang perfectly REGARDLESS of a mistake that would throw A LOT of singers off! Because, when you get down to it, I'M the one auditioning, NOT my accompanist!
So I don't CARE what my mom says! She DOESN'T know what I'm going through and she CAN'T know because she's NEVER AUDITIONED FOR ANYTHING IN HER LIFE. LET ALONE COLLEGE! Nor can my dad! HE'S never done any auditions either!
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT"S LIKE!
God!
So why can't they LEAVE ME ALONE!
THEIR advice about college ISN'T THE ADVICE I NEED!
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Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:05 pm
I know its rough, but remember this.
If your filling out college applications your going to be separated fromt them soon, so this is a temporary problem.
Just because they read your essay and give you advice, doesn't mean you have to take it - you could always try and explain to them that the essay is meant to be personal and you're simply looking for a proofreader.
Your parents probably don't realize that you're self conscious. They see it as pulling your leg, joking around - you see it as making fun of. It sounds silly and cliche, but communication really is a great tool. You need to let them know how you feel.
The last thing I'm going to say is going to be the thing you don't want to hear: you need to be grateful. My parents didn't care about my college admissions essay, they didn't care about me going to college, they didn't want me to go to college. My mother refused to allow me to take the SAT's, she pulled me out of school so I couldn't graduate, and she refused to give me her tax information so I could fill out the FAFSA. The fact of the matter is, as big a pain in the a** it is - at least they care.
You're right, they don't know exactly what you're going through. Your experiance is going to be much different than yours. But there are some similarities. They understand the stress you are under (yes, your stress is different, but they can still understand). They understand that it's hard. The biggest thing to remember is that they want to help, not hurt.
It's hard to get through, but remember that they only want to help. They're feeling very helpless right now, their children are going to be leaving soon, and they're going to miss you.
Just hang in there!
PS: I would be more than happy to proofread your entrance essay under the school work forum! And I promise I won't make fun of you!!! biggrin
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:00 pm
Phffft.
I'm not going anywhere.
I believe that on a bad day my first choice college is 45 minutes away. Second choice is about 1/2 an hour away.
And if I end up going to either of those schools, I don't see the point in wasting money to live on campus when I can just as easily commute.
My sister's first choice is about 1/2 an hour away, too.
So if she gets her way, they aren't getting rid of her too quickly, either.
So, nope. They're not getting rid of my that easily. We'll still be around to give them grey hairs until we graduate college!
The problem with the entire thing is that they don't understand how much I love music. They've spent the last four years trying to talk me into going for an English major rather than music. I mean, they can see the way music makes me feel, but it's just not something they can really understand. Nor is it something I can really explain.
Or maybe I'm just being ornery and irritable because I'm stressed and I don't want to hear about college when I really want to relax for a while.
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Posted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 2:28 pm
Cool your jets, Anger is a wasteful emotion that only drains energy. Talk to your parents, they love you and if you speak to them in a calm sensible manner I'm sure they'll listen.
And don't worry, if they shot you down the first time, audition again and again, and again! Never. Give. Up! You just have to keep moving forward! Rattle their cages until they let you in!
Also don't have the state of mind that something will go wrong, You need to brighten up your outlook of life! You should listen to the words of the song "Happy, happy, joy, joy!"
/end Peter Pan speech
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 5:46 am
BloodClan's right. As far as the English major goes, that's just parents concerned about their future.
It's hard to make it in a music career, they just have a lot of different concerns. Don't be so harsh...breathe...breathe honey!
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Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:38 pm
I know it's hard to make a career in music. That's why I'm going for music education. That way I can teach and my first choice college has a 100% job placement rate for its music education majors. It even has a 90-something% placement rate for other music majors.
And English is just as subjective as music.
Meh. I'm just a cynic. I tend to expect things to go wrong and I tend to always expect the worst of people. At a short fuse and high susceptibility to stress and throw college applications and AP classes in there, and you have a fine recipe for a stressed out snarky b***h.
I went into the same sort of meltdown mode where I was ready to bite off everyone's heads at the end of last year.
I'd get really angry about something, have a complete meltdown, and then look back and not really understand why it set me off quite as much as it did.
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fallenangel_Asha Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 12:59 pm
Just be sure to remeber ALL of this when your own kids are about 17 years old!!! xd xd
You think it's frustrating now! Wait till your trying to help them and they hate for it! Ah...life is cruel...
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