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 Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:16 pm
Well this sounds selfish and horrible, but my current boyfriend is a... well, he's useless in bed.
He has a very small tongue (he can't even lick his top lip...) and so oral is out of the question, well to me anyway. I find it a turn off and so try to stay away from that as much as possible, I still go down on him though.
Which means sex is generally it other than a bit of foreplay, which I don't mind... of course, but that's not what I'm focusing on here.
He was a virgin about 3/4 months ago, we've been sleeping together since then.
His kissing is so-so, that's improved over time and a lot of hinting at what's nice. He's a lovely guy so I don't want hurt him, but he can't keep a rhythm and will want to change positions a lot to keep changing the sensations. He takes a long time to c** (and will rarely actually climax more than once a day), so changing positions is just fine but I get sore quite easily and I can't deal with all.
I end up on top and I can tell he immediately thinks it feels better, he''ll even say that I'm "better at this". I'm struggling with how to help him.
Am I being inconsiderate and selfish?
My last partner was a virgin also and we never had this problem, even from the word go.
If this keeps up I see our sex life dying almost all together.
Feel free to PM me.
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 7:47 pm
All I can get is that maybe he's just not experienced to be able to tell what he's doing isn't turning you on. Instead, tell him what he can do to turn you on. Maybe he isn't cumming because he's uncomfortable..though you said its been a few months, I don't know if its still that, it could be. As for you being on top, I know when I first had sex, I didn't feel comfortable being on top just yet. So maybe he feels better with you taking the lead for now. Talk to him, is my advice. He can't read your mind on what he's doing isn't turning you on, especially when he's a virgin.
Also, since you get sore easily, maybe you should use lube.
I hope this helps.
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 8:17 pm
Jentern All I can get is that maybe he's just not experienced to be able to tell what he's doing isn't turning you on. Instead, tell him what he can do to turn you on. Maybe he isn't cumming because he's uncomfortable..though you said its been a few months, I don't know if its still that, it could be. As for you being on top, I know when I first had sex, I didn't feel comfortable being on top just yet. So maybe he feels better with you taking the lead for now. Talk to him, is my advice. He can't read your mind on what he's doing isn't turning you on, especially when he's a virgin. Also, since you get sore easily, maybe you should use lube. I hope this helps. Pretty much what I was going to say. You guys could always make a date of it or something, go the library/bookstore together and read some books on good sex and how to be more romantic with your partner. biggrin That way he won't feel awkward or feel like he's doing something wrong, and you can have fun together at the same time.
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