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 Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:51 pm
Talamar groomed Kirra in the back end of their den site, curled together in a massive heap as the dark female wavered in and out of consciousness beneath her mates touch. "Ohh." she said, licking the side of his muzzle carefully.
It looked perfect, and from any standpoint outside of their own; it was. For Kirra and Talamar though, time was running short and their emotions haywire. "Kirra...we have to consider the options." Talamar had said to her one night, while their pups slept. In dull tones, the two conversed, argued, and finally agreed that if they were to survive this year and were to have their pups survive the rest of their lives...something had to be done.
Their initial plan was to put the pups out of their misery. It seemed logical, but far too painful to muster for both parents and was immediately disregarded as such. Then the thought of adoption came to mind; a more practical way of ridding the pups a filthy future. But the million dollar question still stood; to whom? Could they trust just anyone, or would they have to put time and effort into their choice? In the end, there wasn't enough time and so the responsibility fell upon the strongest of the pair.
She loved her mate, and his coddling before what storm would brew soon seemed to only raise more tension in her. Kirra walked away from Talamar, away from her pups and groaned in agony while doing so. Why did the life she was growing so fond of have to end now? Like this? With her only litter being given away to the first stranger that'll take them!
But the female probably wasn’t as guilty as she should be. Kirra had been distancing herself subconsciously for quite some time now, not able to bear with knowing those pups would be too attached to leave. It was now their children and Talamar, plus the provider Kirra. No longer being the parent figure often sent chills down her spine.
Talamar offered his help but was politely declined since they both knew he couldn't manage the voyage, NOR the sacrifice. His job now was to play the true guardian, the one who would be missed and in the end; loved. Some would be envious of the circumstance, hold a grudge and be spiteful for the rest of their days but Kirra, as sweet and docile (as well as head over heals for Talamar) as she was could not be angry. Kirra was compassionate, and understood that his constant company with the pups would be equal to if not greater than the pain she'd feel walking away from the babies she didn't know. In this thought, unlike all the others she felt throughout this process, there was some comfort.
She searched the grounds outside their den limits, outside the free lands of Telk and into territories and outer rogue lands where there'd be families of wolves willing to take on her desperate pleas.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 1:14 pm
Dew had form over the grass and gave this day a sort of sparkle, the glint off rays of sunlight hitting every drop, as well as every silver hair on the male as he stretched out and shook off the fatigue. He felt replenished today, even if last night he had troubles finding comfort; it all having to do with Kalia's return. He was so glad to have her back, and that would never be understated again but...she held memories he tried to forget, and she held them proudly.
Besides the pain that was inevitably a part of the package deal, Kalia also brought a new light. He felt the flames rekindle, this energetic Catalyst different from the one who stalked the forests a year prior. It was nice having someone around again, especially when that specific someone held a special place in the heart. Even with the hurt, Kalia seemed to doubly fill in the holes and spaces that followed in her wake.
She was perfect, and hopefully would get up soon so they could take a walk. As of recent times the two found shelter amongst assorted dens, ones of which Catalyst had grown familiar in, and ones that Kalia had. It didn't matter where they stayed, just as long as they were together BUT the shifts in den did make for a better life for the old geezers. With brittle bones, arthritic joints and sense dull and fried, it was only natural to try and beat the age by becoming more active; they had a purpose to be, after all.
Looking out at an evergreen horizon, Catalyst squinted to make out a shuffling form that came out of the thicket. It approached slowly, staggering over whatever it stepped on and didn't seem fazed by the stance he had suddenly taken to. Lifting high on his toes, chest puffed and tail rigged, the old man waited for whatever would come, unable to see clearly but easily capable (for a very rare moment) to smell the strong scent of 'Wolf.'
Familiar as it was, he could not let his guard down...The den was close, and in a hushed tone Catalyst whispered to his mate.
"We have a visitor, Kal." his heart raced with anticipation.
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Posted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:41 pm
The dream had been pleasant. Not too full of emotion, but not completely lacking either. It had been serene and more peaceful than she could remember her life ever being. For the longest time, and contrary to her partner, she had rested quietly and without interruption. No longer was she tossing and turning, and randomly waking up in the dead of night drenched in her own sweat. The hallucinations had ceased, now that she had been reunited with her other half, and she could feel the world slowly coming back into balance. Her thoughts rarely visited the memories of her children, as she had surpressed their existance from her mind.
The den they currently inhabited was beginning to grow warm and familiar with their scents, and as each day passed she felt more and more like this would become their home. They finally had a place of their own once more, and she'd defend it to the very end. Forget her brittle bones and aching joints, she had spirit that could never be brought down.
Yet as another wolf approached their den and disrupted the normal order of their ancient lives, and as Catalyst shifted about to meet the perceived threat head on, the silver female felt that sudden absence of warmth. In her sleep, she narrowed her eyes and grumbled unhappily. "What are you doing?" she mumbled, half awake. Nose nearly dead and hearing going along with it, she completely missed the other wolf that was slowly making its way towards their living quarters. But she wasn't so deaf as to not hear her mate's whispered words.
"Tell them to go away," she growled, yawning as she attempted to chase the sleep from her eyes and mind. She rolled onto her belly then slowly, and not gracefully, got to her paws. She stumbled somewhat, her eyes attempting to adjust to the light of the day, but eventually she made her way to stand shoulder to shoulder with Catalyst. Her body showed a much more laid-back and less tense nature than her counterpart at the moment, but the look in her eyes proved that she could be one grumpy wolf.
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Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:13 pm
The path led her to Catalyst standing like a memorial of her mates past. At first the image was blurred by welling emotions and clouded thoughts, startling her a bit but not nearly enough to send her reeling; it was only when he spoke, soft and subtle to the innards of a den she only half noticed behind him that Kirra realized the reality she stepped into.
"Oh..." she murmured, apparently not pleased by the situation just as Kalia looked to be. As that silver wolf slipped from her crypt and moved with a rigid fashion, Kirra was opened to a stark imagery of Talamar's illness, persistent as it continued to be, and his parents disappearance. Granted, she loved them still, but the pain they seemed to inflict not only on themselves but on others would take some time to be forgiven. Recalling their separation, Kirra's face scrunched up in confusion and then loosened. She would have welcomed Talamar back with open arms had they been in the situations their alpha's had been.
Brown eyes watched the old faces of history twitch, desperately trying to make out Kirra's face and scent and match old memories with the present. Yes, this was awkward and yes Kirra wished she could dissolve into thin air, but sadly this was real and as much as the canine wanted to avoid the situation all together, she almost felt it best to reconnect the family ties…they were the only family Kirra had, after all. To facilitate the process, Kirra spoke again with an obvious boom to her voice, "Catalyst, Kalia...it is good to see you both again." Though she managed to keep the volume, her voice cracked as it always had.
In a blink of an eye her day changed yet again! From having to find a suitable home for her pups, to dealing with in-laws, the excitement would have buried the older Kirra in worry and frustration…but she did not forget her task. Deep within her thoughts new possibilities rose, more promising, positive, and appealing ideas provoked her. They also kept her silent in uncertainty, and while she waited for the familiar tones of Catalyst and Kalia, the old girl herself felt weakened by the blow of this harsh, harsh world.
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Posted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 7:23 pm
Touched by his mates shoulder, Catalyst felt a bit at ease with the incapability to see and smell clearly. They both were growing old, but Kalia had the better sense of their duo and may get a better view of the intruder if Catalyst couldn't catch the wind first...
"What did you say?" He was quick to retort as it seemed they would not need to wait for their visions to magically clear. A voice, soft as if not meant for them to hear just barely skimmed his radar, leaving the old male a bit baffled by the tone. He ran off that familiarity felt prior, using the very vague figure he could make out as a runoff from the words spoken. Oh? Hoarse, worn, even a bit masculine...there were not many wolves Catalyst had come across in these woods, so few in fact that when he actually gave this some genuine thought, the creature who came to mind should have been his instinctive guess all along.
Then she spoke again, and the wolf became as clear as day to him. "Kirra?" He questioned, but there was no need for inquisitions; her smell wafted his way, mingled with Talamar's who he so precisely remembered, and a few other scents that he chose to disregard. This was Kirra, his sons mate, a lost friend, a lost follower. Catalyst turned then to Kalia and furrowed his brows. "They have stayed together it seems! This is splendid news!"
The old alpha was thrilled, chose not to approach Kirra but was ecstatic to hear from her all the same! Again, it seemed, the male had forgotten his past deeds in a flurry of excitement and only focused on this moment and the happiness he was enveloped in. "Kirra, you have no idea how great it is to see you are safe..."
"You are still with Talamar, yes? How is he..."
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:14 pm
Kalia remained at her mate's side, her eyes scanning the distance and her ears and nose alert for any signal that this intruder meant ill. She didn't enjoy her morning sleep being disturbed, and if this wolf came to them only to stir up some trouble, well then they'd get an awakening more rude than the one the silver female had suffered.
"I said get some new ears, you old geezer," she grumbled, leaning herself against his massive form to show that she was merely joking with him. Ever since they had reunited, she found herself growing softer and softer by the moment. Not too long ago she would have resented this and pushed him away in order to harden herself for survival. But, with her advanced age and ailing senses, she had come to the conclusion that life was growing shorter with every passing minute and she would be damned if she remained bitter through it all. She was no longer alone and would have him until the end of her days, so why should she complain anyways?
Her mood instantly shifted, however, as the other wolf spoke and the old alpha was able to identify the approaching figure. Her body immediately stiffened as her old brain dug up memories she had long tried to bury into oblivion. Here in front of her was the painful reminder of the wrongs she had committed against her children. Talamar's mate, once a follower of the two alphas. She supposed she didn't blame the brutish female for leaving with their son; Kalia hadn't been a pleasant leader.
Unlike Catalyst, the silver wolf remained quiet and didn't question Kirra. Instead she found herself frozen with regret, unable to bring herself to speak or to even greet the female that had, unknowing to her, mothered her grandpups. She allowed her mate to do all the talking at first, to ask about their ill son and the situation in which they now lived. She wished she could be as friendly or welcoming, but her thoughts barred her from acting out with such kindness. Rather, she could feel old anger and hatred boiling up from the pit of her stomach, darkness clouding her mind and causing her to want to tear into this wretched hound.
"What do you want?" she rasped, interrupting Catalyst and wondering if Kirra had come simply to torture the old couple. "Did that boy abandon you, too?" She couldn't bring herself to say his name, nor to claim him as her son. In her mind, he had abandoned her and was not worthy of recognition. But while she blamed her children, deep down she knew it had been her own actions which had driven them away from her, had caused them to fear and hate her all at once. She simply couldn't bring herself to reconcile with her past.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:53 pm
"We--" she began to reply, only to catch the words Kalia spoke with a painful wince and silencing herself instantly.
Perhaps it was out of respect to those ranked above her, even if these two should not be holding the title Kirra stuck to them, that she hushed so quickly, rolling back on her haunches and crouching. She should resent now, more than at any point the lack of a true 'male mate' she had, with his own ailments and his fears and worries that often held the wolf back from aiding Kirra in many ways; but she couldn't even bring herself to feel that way now, as the in-laws she left so long ago stood side by side before her.
Kirra knew her faults, both the physical, the mental and especially those she had done onto others, so she did not blame Kalia for the swelling of rage; she only listened. She could tell Catalyst was distressed by his mates response, but the black wolf was quick to whimper the answers Kalia had asked to hear.
"Kalia, hi...T-Talamar and I are still together; happily so...We are surviving at least, that is what matters." she held her tongue then, brows furrowed and features contorted as the words "We had" and "Babies" begged to be said. How would she ever go about telling them? Should she even bother, with the pups future relying on the parenting of someone else? Kirra, conflicted at heart, could not decide.
She would dodge the topic for now, letting her in-laws assume what they wished..."I am glad you guys seem strong..." voice cracking, teeth now clenched behind sealed lips, Kirra waited...thoughts roaming on her duty, now put on hold by the informalities of this meet.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:07 pm
Catalyst cringed, indeed caught off guard by the anger in Kalia's tone. He brushed his side against hers but felt this to have gained no composure over his mate; she was, like he ought to be, swept away by their misconduct of the past.
It was in their better interest to forgive and let go, as the two had shared mutually upon reuniting themselves. "Kalia, please." he murmured to her, while keeping his gaze set on the cowering Kirra. Things had been so different when they first met, the comfort and secrurity that once was now seemed replaced by tension and uncertainty. Where had their friendship gone? Listening to her speech, Catalyst could hear the lying undertones, the truth hidden by a facade she wished to keep up. The further Talamar and Kirra were to the two alphas seemed the better for his sons mate.
"Strong?" he joked, shoulders jumping in laughter. For the better part of his life Catalyst had been strong, powerful, capable of ANY task passed on to him but now, in this aging state he wobbled through...well, together Kalia and Catalyst were a strong pair just as they always had been, but separate they were weaker than the prey they willed to catch. The male was happy to hear of Talamar's safety, though indirect as the statement was to his question; them being together meant he was well enough to love.
Letting his tail wag limply, he tried to lighten the mood and allow some feeling of ease to pass through the environment. "Surviving, you look to be better off than I could have ever imagined!" pausing, Catalyst figured this might hurt Kirra's feelings, but he continued on either way, "You look to have been gaining some weight dear...eating for two?"
This was meant to be a joke! Fun times, a way to cut the tension building...but how right he was, and noting the subtle way the brown eyes of his daughter in-law widen seemed to kick the old boy in the gut with a sickening feeling.
He didn't say anything more, looking over to Kalia with a wrinkled snout and ears rotating back...slowly.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:35 pm
Kalia could almost taste the tension she had created in the situation. She knew that she was being harsh and hostile, but she cared little for the hurt feelings of this female. Her past actions and experiences were overwhelming and she simply couldn't bring herself to come to terms with them, as her mate seemed to have done. Even at Catalyst's soft words, the silver alpha couldn't relax her tense muscles nor rid herself of the harsh look that glared so intesely at the mother of her grandchildren.
She huffed and blew out through her nose as the black and brown female greeted her, despite the harsh welcoming she had received. Kirra had always been the submissive type, never rising to defend herself when someone sought to bully her. But one thing she did notice that was different was the fact that she remained still and stood her ground. She lowered herself slightly, but wasn't as cowering as the old female once remembered her to be. This interested her only slightly, but also made her all the more hostile.
"Surviving," she scoffed, shaking her head slightly. "How hard that must seem to someone so young." While Kirra wasn't the youngest of wolves, she was certainly younger than Kalia herself, and for that Kal resented her more. Then to have Kirra call them strong; what a joke! She almost laughed, but the noise came out more like a wheezing cough that sounded strange even to her own ears. She felt as if she were being mocked, taunted with memories of what she used to be and what she could have done in her younger years. Now, to be old and withering away, to be losing her senses one by one as she waited for the day when her heart would simply give out and pull her into oblivion. It was a depressing thought, and it lessened her anger somewhat as she found herself resigning once more to her current situation.
Yet when the male beside her jokingly asked if Kirra were eating for two, and feeling the tension rise once more, Kalia became alert and narrowed her vision onto that strange yet familiar figure. She certainly seemed a little more plump than she could ever recall. Sniffing, the silver bat's own eyes widened as her dulled sense of smell was able to pick up the scent of milk. Even if Kirra had tried to stay as far away from the puppies as possible, she still had to feed them or else they would have died within their first days of life. And, even if they had died, Kirra's body still would have produced the milk needed to sustain them.
"I'd say she was eating for a few more than two, Catalyst," she murmured.
Suddenly, she remembered just how old she was. Talamar wasn't the first to make her a grandmother, nor the first to make her a great grandmother. Ears falling back, she whined slightly and let her tail droop lifelessly behind her. Life had gone by so quickly, and she'd wasted it all away being hateful towards everyone around her.
"Congrats, Catalyst. You're a grandfather," she spoke, before turning around and retreating within their shallow den. She curled up at the very back, tail over her nose as she attempted to hide herself from her own mistakes. But her ears remained high and alert, listening to how Catalyst would take the news.
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