|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:51 pm
i am upset my bf over a year ago cheated on me i also cheated on him we are still together its hard, he cheated on me first then i cheated how do i fix this ?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:54 pm
Honestly if you have both felt it necessary to betray one another I think that you two are not meant for each other. This is only one persons opinion but I am sorry.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:29 am
Communication. You two will have to sit down and talk about it. Talk about why you both cheated. If you want to stay together, agree to put it behind you. You can try couples counseling if you two can't overcome it alone.
But based on other posts you have made, this relationship sounds a bit strange. At that point in a relationship, you two really should have better communication and he should have a better understanding of women and of your needs in particular. If you two can't communicate at all, you might want to reevaluate whether this is even a healthy relationship for you to be in.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 12:55 am
LorienLlewellyn Communication. You two will have to sit down and talk about it. Talk about why you both cheated. If you want to stay together, agree to put it behind you. You can try couples counseling if you two can't overcome it alone. But based on other posts you have made, this relationship sounds a bit strange. At that point in a relationship, you two really should have better communication and he should have a better understanding of women and of your needs in particular. If you two can't communicate at all, you might want to reevaluate whether this is even a healthy relationship for you to be in. Seconded. You need to talk it over and talk more, and figure out what you both want. If you can't learn to talk to each other, trust each other and respect each other (and agree to never let it happen again), then it's not a relationship you should be in. Please also try to work on your grammar, your post was hard to read (run-on sentences).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 1:56 am
Nikolita LorienLlewellyn Communication. You two will have to sit down and talk about it. Talk about why you both cheated. If you want to stay together, agree to put it behind you. You can try couples counseling if you two can't overcome it alone. But based on other posts you have made, this relationship sounds a bit strange. At that point in a relationship, you two really should have better communication and he should have a better understanding of women and of your needs in particular. If you two can't communicate at all, you might want to reevaluate whether this is even a healthy relationship for you to be in. Seconded. You need to talk it over and talk more, and figure out what you both want. If you can't learn to talk to each other, trust each other and respect each other (and agree to never let it happen again), then it's not a relationship you should be in. Please also try to work on your grammar, your post was hard to read (run-on sentences). sorry, its how i talk sometimes. its a bad habit. yeah we talked about this but hes taking other peoples opinions and feelings into account over mine and his own. he says when i cheated its like our relationship was a bucket and as i cheated a hole was created and the love we create goes into that bucket. however with the hole there its leaking all the love is just coming out. when he explains our relationship to other friends they look at him crazy and say why are you with her. but i get the same from my friends. he cheated on me three months into our relationship. he told me at the time he wasn't thinking about me or my feelings. just having sex with that girl. i myself had messed up too i had sex with one of his friends cause once i found out about him sleeping with another woman he also lied but he didn't feel the pain and hurt i felt. He still acts as if what he had done was nothing compared to me cheating on him .
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:23 pm
what he's probably thinknig was even though he had sex with a girl that no one knows, you had sex with a friend of his, as if you did it on purpose just to get back at him, thats whats going through his head right now
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 11:37 pm
mikomihino_25_2 Nikolita LorienLlewellyn Communication. You two will have to sit down and talk about it. Talk about why you both cheated. If you want to stay together, agree to put it behind you. You can try couples counseling if you two can't overcome it alone. But based on other posts you have made, this relationship sounds a bit strange. At that point in a relationship, you two really should have better communication and he should have a better understanding of women and of your needs in particular. If you two can't communicate at all, you might want to reevaluate whether this is even a healthy relationship for you to be in. Seconded. You need to talk it over and talk more, and figure out what you both want. If you can't learn to talk to each other, trust each other and respect each other (and agree to never let it happen again), then it's not a relationship you should be in. Please also try to work on your grammar, your post was hard to read (run-on sentences). sorry, its how i talk sometimes. its a bad habit. yeah we talked about this but hes taking other peoples opinions and feelings into account over mine and his own. he says when i cheated its like our relationship was a bucket and as i cheated a hole was created and the love we create goes into that bucket. however with the hole there its leaking all the love is just coming out. when he explains our relationship to other friends they look at him crazy and say why are you with her. but i get the same from my friends. he cheated on me three months into our relationship. he told me at the time he wasn't thinking about me or my feelings. just having sex with that girl. i myself had messed up too i had sex with one of his friends cause once i found out about him sleeping with another woman he also lied but he didn't feel the pain and hurt i felt. He still acts as if what he had done was nothing compared to me cheating on him . It's ok. smile Just wanted to mention it. But see that's not fair. He cheated, and regardless of the reason why, he's just as "guilty" as you are. You're both to blame, and it's not fair of him to dump all the blame on you while overlooking his indiscretions too. It'll still come down to communication. There's no "quick fix" or way to "fix" cheating - what happened happened, and you can't do anything to change it. But if you're both committed to the relationship and making it work, then you both have to agree to not let it happen again, to forgive each other (if you can) and move on. Maybe you two can work it out on your own, but if not, you could try looking into relationship counselling too. 3nodding
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:53 am
Koji Hinata what he's probably thinknig was even though he had sex with a girl that no one knows, you had sex with a friend of his, as if you did it on purpose just to get back at him, thats whats going through his head right now Agreed. We all make mistakes. I am not saying cheating is right. But I am saying that I understand how a one time thing can "just happen." The person involved usually does not mean to hurt their partner and isn't even thinking clearly because they're so wrapped up in their hormones at the time. Revenge cheating on the other hand? That's premeditated. That is when someone thinks, "He hurt me, so rather than work through it in a mature way, I am going to hurt him back." So is it mature to throw it in your face? Not entirely. Is it helping the relationship? Probably not. But is he altogether wrong for blaming you more than he blames himself? In my opinion, no. What he did could be considered a one time lusty accident. What you did was petty, immature, revenge. Like I said, this relationship does not sound good. There's cheating, there's revenge, there's fighting, it sounds like there is no communication whatsoever. And when you both describe the relationship people say, "Um, why are you with him/her?" And that tells me that neither of you even see the relationship in a healthy way if you're describing it in such an unhealthy way. So my advice is still to see a professional or get the heck out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
