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 Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:27 pm
So uh. This is Ash/Dayne/Chaotic, for those of you who don't already know. And the following is going to be... well, venting about why I wish life would cut me some slack.
Most people in the sg chat already know that my life tends to be an on-and-off wreck, but things have been taking a turn for the worst lately. Wednesday night was mentally and emotionally exhausting after getting into yet another an argument with my dad (who was most likely drunk, considering he had more than enough wine that night) about how I'm not up to his standards academically, he's ashamed of me, etc. Somewhere from there it ended up with him saying I needed to pack up my things because he didn't want me around and I was going to stay with my grandparents, and my mom started to get involved when she started to defend me.
After he started yelling at her while I was packing, things started to get physical, and I wasn't going to even bother trying to calm them down after I was shoved into my bookcase and they were shoving and punching each other. My grandparents came not long after, calming down my parents before we packed up my belongings in the truck, and I didn't stick around much longer. It's not the first time it's happened, but even with my dad as drunk as he was, he never told me that he was more than willing to sign of all rights to whoever wanted them because he never wanted me in the first place. He's said lots of hurtful things to me in the past, but for him to say something like that was heartbreaking for me.
I'm not always empathetic and I know that I can be an insensitive b***h, but emotionally I'm like glass, I guess; I break easily, but I'll never say or show when I do, unless I just can't keep it to myself. I try to be strong and I hate talking about my problems like this, but I'm burning both ends of the candle trying to keep myself from going insane or something with all this building pressure. I can't handle this on my own, and sometimes I really just want someone to talk about my problems with, because I'm tired of bottling my feelings like I have all these years. I feel bad that people have to hear about me whine like this, but I'm going through tough times, and I don't know what to do with myself.
Some things in here most likely didn't make sense, considering it's coming from me, so I'll probably edit it when I make more sense in the morning.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 4:01 pm
*hugs Ash* I still think you should call child services. This is most clearly emotional, as well as physical, abuse. D: Hang in there <3. Remember that if he ever hurts you, you should always go all out on the defense. <3 Stay strong! You'll make it through this. D: Oh, and you promised me you wouldn't let them hurt you anymore. Dooface. >: Regardless, DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SITUATION. Living like this will only be hard on yourself. If all else, call AA (alcoholics anonymous) on your dad, maybe they'll help him with his drinking problem. n-n
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IntermittentShiningLights
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 5:41 pm
We love you, babe. Remember that. heart
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 6:07 pm
As I've said before, it's probably best you live with your grandparents or Cass. Between your parents and your shithead aunt, living with them should be much better. (I don't think I've ever heard you say anything too bad about your grandparents.)
Be happy you're out of that hellhole. D:
I'd agree with Turtle too. Calling Child Services doesn't sound all to unreasonable at this point.
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Posted: Sat Sep 19, 2009 8:51 pm
why haven't you gone to live with cass yet :<
Call Child Services nao plz D:
oh yeah also -hug-
also also if any of them ever try to beat you up again
stab them
plz.
I AM NOT GOOD AT DOING THIS OVER INTERNETS SORRY D:
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:15 pm
I'm glad you're out of there. You should be glad too. They say that the sky is always darkest before the storm ends, and that things get worse before they get better. Things are going to get better soon, I'm sure.
I also reflect the sentiment of others; call child services.
And we will snipe some assholes.
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