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Hypnotizing all the Lunatics and Freaks 

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Reply To be or not to be, to write the right?
A Knight of Old

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ExileDeath
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:24 pm


A knight of old,
Walk this path.
Armor ice cold,
A sword’s wrath.

He looks ahead,
To see his fate.
A sword covered in red,
"Is this deaths weight?"

Falling to his knees,
and starting to cry,
As he gets seized.
"Am I going to die?"

They hold him tight,
Accuse him wrong.
Saying "this isn’t right,"
As the crow sings his death song.


They lock him away,
The executer comes.
Is this the day?
While hearing the drums.

No one cries,
Yet he feels no offend.
He close his eyes,
As it all ends.
PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 9:53 am


The language is very smart/nice sounding. My favorite line is "a sword's wrath" I love the feeling that there is so much with even the inanimate sword feels it. Then when he knows he is doomed how the anger turns to desolation. I personally despise war and to me it shows the pointlessness and horrid death and brutality of it. However, I'm sure that others with different feelings towards war would interpret this quite differently. You delay in time of his death is very effective. You foreshadow with the "Am I going to die?" and "As the crow sings his death song." Then for a moment I feel relief when he is imprisoned. Hoping somehow that will be the worst he has to undergo and then the end hits me as I fear it could. Unsettling, which of course is a good thing with any work of art. the point is to reach the audience, well done.

patience1984
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To be or not to be, to write the right?

 
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