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 Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 6:32 pm
First of all, I am sorry if I am making too many threads, if so I apologize.
Anyway, to the topic at hand. I have always had some sort of history of depression and the like, I was diagnosed with Depression when I was 8 I believe and ever since I have been on a rotating door of different and ineffective anti-depressants. I have only had one really show any improvement at all and it is the one I am on now, Sertraline. The effect was minimal but it was definitely there.
But after 6 months of taking it, Luck started going my way a bit. Even though since April my life has been a living emotional hell, but my luck did change and I started hitting on a bit of a happy "high" not from the pills, but from the stuff around me. I started getting more open to topics such as this, Sexuality and many other things this guild houses, I also became a lot happier, even to the point of actually confident of my admittedly lacklustre looks around ...well everyone. My friends online and I talked much more, my Friends offline became more steady and frequent in my life, I started drawing, writing, spriting and just doing a lot more that I generally enjoy.... But the severity of all of the stuff that has happened since April is colossal for sure, I dislike saying this but just so it is known
My Mother passed away unexpectedly
My Grandmother passed away after a lengthy battle with Leukemia
My Aunt, and Twin of my Mother Overdosed on Perkisent, though thankfully is alive.
The Girl I treated like my best friend, and the girl who I asked repeatedly to give me a shot gave me a reason, and I inadvertently severed the closeness of our relationship
And my longest perhaps closest friend at 17 years old got raped and impregnated by her boyfriend at the time....
I really don't like listing it off, but all of that in such a short time all of which was Before I started feeling great, all of which didn't hit me hard at all at the time of when they hit... is it possible that all of the stuff that I held in is trying to get out, now when I have been having the best 2 months of my life mindset and happiness wise?
I mean, I have been talking to friends and one particular online friend and I have had great conversations about virtually everything... yet I still just got hit, and it feels like I was winged by a runaway truck or something...
I hate to ramble on, so I will leave it at this.
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 6:53 pm
It's normal to have awful stuff happen yet to not really feel it right away. Sometimes the reality of it all takes a little while to set in. And it sounds like you went through some pretty major stuff recently.
It's great to hear that you've been opening up and strengthening your relationships though. Keep talking to people while you deal with all this stuff. They probably won't be able to make all your bad feelings go away, but they should make them a lot easier to deal with. Don't be afraid to talk to a professional about it either.
heart
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:58 pm
I think its tyhat silver lining thing, where you look for the good when surround by bad, llike for me this instance, my grandmother, god sister and aunt which i actually visted t frequently all died the same night on me, and so far update story, my older ssiter has a tumer and granmother died of my farther side (( no more grandparents now)) and my farther is now missing, I'm here in Japan in the navy tring to support my family and even though I never tellt hem that all that is happening makes it tough, I still go on, I could just go out the easy way and in my life, hell I usually think about it every other day, but I don't do it because theres something more and something else meaningful I have to do in life, i've saved a few lives personally as I live my life and I continue to do so as I try to save everyone I come across of weather its serving the navy, in which I hate really, to even jumping in front of a car and throwing them out of the way, or diving by a near by cliff and reaching to grab they're hands, i will continue to do so and yes, that has all happen to me before I live a unusally life and I can't complain about it since it is my life after all
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 10:23 pm
LorienLlewellyn It's normal to have awful stuff happen yet to not really feel it right away. Sometimes the reality of it all takes a little while to set in. And it sounds like you went through some pretty major stuff recently. It's great to hear that you've been opening up and strengthening your relationships though. Keep talking to people while you deal with all this stuff. They probably won't be able to make all your bad feelings go away, but they should make them a lot easier to deal with. Don't be afraid to talk to a professional about it either. heart Agreed. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:15 pm
LorienLlewellyn It's normal to have awful stuff happen yet to not really feel it right away. Sometimes the reality of it all takes a little while to set in. And it sounds like you went through some pretty major stuff recently. It's great to hear that you've been opening up and strengthening your relationships though. Keep talking to people while you deal with all this stuff. They probably won't be able to make all your bad feelings go away, but they should make them a lot easier to deal with. Don't be afraid to talk to a professional about it either. heart So the entire, feeling completely down thing is generally normal? as for the relationships, I have indeed opened up with friends of every variety, I am more talkative in general and I have gotten past the conversations of one or two things lately. and as for a professional, I have had a bi-weekly appointment for about 3 years now so that is definately not a problem
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 1:03 pm
Sauvie So the entire, feeling completely down thing is generally normal? It's not normal to feel down all the time. But it's certainly normal to have ups and downs, especially if you've lost loved ones recently. Sauvie as for the relationships, I have indeed opened up with friends of every variety, I am more talkative in general and I have gotten past the conversations of one or two things lately. and as for a professional, I have had a bi-weekly appointment for about 3 years now so that is definately not a problem That sounds great. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:03 pm
LorienLlewellyn Sauvie So the entire, feeling completely down thing is generally normal? It's not normal to feel down all the time. But it's certainly normal to have ups and downs, especially if you've lost loved ones recently. Sauvie as for the relationships, I have indeed opened up with friends of every variety, I am more talkative in general and I have gotten past the conversations of one or two things lately. and as for a professional, I have had a bi-weekly appointment for about 3 years now so that is definately not a problem That sounds great. 3nodding I didnt intend for that to sound like I was constantly down and depressed, it is just the majority of the time for maybe the last 7 days barring conversations with friends and the like
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