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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 10:40 pm
is it ever possible to be too sexual. im used to having sex with my bf every night. normal right but my thing is i think about sex all the time but i usually use it to escape from reality or my worries. my bf just told me i don't talk to him as if he were my boyfriend like i never know what to say..he said its kinda whorish for a woman to say i want to get ********. heck thats just how i felt at the time and i meant it but im not very girly in the first place. also he has this dislike for my vibrators he feels he should be the only one satisfying me which sad to say he never asks do you like this or is this okay am i doing it right . i try to tell him but the words never come out right. i get so nervous .
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Posted: Sat Sep 05, 2009 11:06 pm
if i were in your possition, i would try not to be nervous. try just coming out to him and telling him whats on your mind.
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 2:14 am
I think it's a popular misconception that women don't think about sex often, and when they do, they have to be prim and proper about it. A guy can tell a woman "Baby let's go ********", but if a woman says "I want to ******** you" then she's being crude or vulgar. rolleyes I don't agree of course, that's just how it seems to me.
So perhaps that's what your boyfriend is thinking, that if you're thinking about sex then you should be more "ladylike" about it, which shouldn't be the case. If he'd like you to tone your language down, then maybe you two can find a compromise that works for you and doesn't make him uncomfortable, but otherwise saying "I want to get ********" shouldn't be an issue.
LoL, actually I said "c**t" in front of my boyfriend awhile back, and he was really taken aback. He said it's not a word that women use very often, which is the case for me because I actually hate that word, but he didn't have a problem with me saying it. It was just a funny reaction from him. xd
As for your vibrator issue, there's nothing wrong with you using them. Ideally you should be careful not to use them too much during sex, because as you've already said he could start to feel like you're using it to get off rather than him, but there's nothing with getting stimulation from both him and a vibrator at the same time. And actually since many women need clitoral stimualtion to get off (aside from just vaginal penetration), it's sometime suggested if a woman is having trouble orgasming from intercourse alone.
For some men it can be a touchy issue. I know my boyfriend's joked about it before, but that deep down it's a concern for him if I were to ever start using a vibrator. It's just a matter of finding a balance between person and vibrator if you do want to use one, and then making sure your boyfriend is ok with that balance.
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 2:32 am
what I don't understand is why do the girls I like always end up with a guy that thinks its wrong, its like the girl thats just right to me is being reflected away from me, like no mater where I go, I will never meet up with her, and trust I'm tring, thats some of the reason why i'm in Japan now
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Posted: Sun Sep 06, 2009 11:06 am
It's ok to think about sex a lot. I too use sex fantasies and masturbation as a way to escape from things throughout the day.
Your boyfriend sounds like he might be a little sexist, possibly due to not really understanding women. But that could be because of the lack of communication in your relationship. We can't necessarily expect him to be an expert on women if you're not guiding him! wink So speak up. Try to educate him. You have nothing to feel nervous about. If you can talk to anyone about what feels good to you, it should be your partner.
Let him know that women have urges too, and it's ok for us to talk or act just as dirty as a man.
Let him know that most people masturbate, even when in a relationship. You're not going to replace him. You're not going to fall in love and run off with your toy, just like he's not going to fall in love and run off with his hand or porno collection. So he has no reason to feel threatened by a toy. You can even get him involved by showing him how you use it.
And show him what feels good and what doesn't.
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Posted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:42 pm
Nikolita I think it's a popular misconception that women don't think about sex often, and when they do, they have to be prim and proper about it. A guy can tell a woman "Baby let's go ********", but if a woman says "I want to ******** you" then she's being crude or vulgar. rolleyes I don't agree of course, that's just how it seems to me. So perhaps that's what your boyfriend is thinking, that if you're thinking about sex then you should be more "ladylike" about it, which shouldn't be the case. If he'd like you to tone your language down, then maybe you two can find a compromise that works for you and doesn't make him uncomfortable, but otherwise saying "I want to get ********" shouldn't be an issue. LoL, actually I said "c**t" in front of my boyfriend awhile back, and he was really taken aback. He said it's not a word that women use very often, which is the case for me because I actually hate that word, but he didn't have a problem with me saying it. It was just a funny reaction from him. xd As for your vibrator issue, there's nothing wrong with you using them. Ideally you should be careful not to use them too much during sex, because as you've already said he could start to feel like you're using it to get off rather than him, but there's nothing with getting stimulation from both him and a vibrator at the same time. And actually since many women need clitoral stimualtion to get off (aside from just vaginal penetration), it's sometime suggested if a woman is having trouble orgasming from intercourse alone. For some men it can be a touchy issue. I know my boyfriend's joked about it before, but that deep down it's a concern for him if I were to ever start using a vibrator. It's just a matter of finding a balance between person and vibrator if you do want to use one, and then making sure your boyfriend is ok with that balance. That reminds me of how my mom reacted funny once when I said the word c**t. XD I said it in a joking way in a response to something she said to me and she thought it was the funniest thing. Like she was just so surprised I said it. And I was just surprised she thought it was that funny. In fact, years ago she happened to see me type the word boner to one of my friends and she couldn't believe I would say that either. As for my boyfriend, I don't think anything I say surprises him. I say all sorts of things to him and I'm sure he's used to all my crazy sexual talk by now. I definitely don't make any effort to be "ladylike". It's so much more fun not to be.
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Posted: Wed Sep 09, 2009 5:15 pm
I feel overly sexual sometimes, too. I'm slightly worried that I'll never find a guy with a sex drive as high as mine.
But no, it's not whorish to like sex or even to express it in 'agressive' terms. Some men love it when girls say they want to be ********.
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