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 Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:09 am
 Rules:
~ No posting in a test thread unless it's your test.
~ Limited to 4 posts. You can use less.
~ You have 2 weeks to finish your rp.
~ Must use the battle field type assigned to you.
~ You create a monster of your choice, unless a different rule is specified for that test.
~ Have fun!
1~Ice- Pretty simple with this one. The floor becomes solid ice. There are random chunks of ice protruding from the floor. And of course, you have little to no traction.
2~Desert- Pretty much nothing but massive sand dunes. You sink down into the sand, which slows you down a LOT. If the wind blows, the sand gets kicked up, which obscures vision.
3~Open Field- A plain grassy field with nothing on it.
4~Ocean- A mini ocean about 40 feet deep. There are five floating platforms for battlers to stand on. The plat forms bob around and it's really hard to keep your balance on them.
5~Dense Forest- The arena is packed from wall to wall with dense, tropical trees. As in any tropical jungle, there are lots of vines and other such things to get tangled up in.
6~Land of Fire- Parts of the arena floor sink away, leaving behind pits of lava. Also, pillars of fire erupt from the floor periodically.
7~Concrete- A plain concrete floor.
8~The Abyss- Near complete darkness engulfs the arena. Dark energy is abundant in this field.
9~The Sanctuary- Opposite of the Abyss. Light energy fills the arena. Its very bright!
10~No floor- The floor drops away leaving a pit filled with spikes. There are levitating platforms at varying heights, going all the way to the top of the arena. It's hard to jump from platform to platform, and trust me, you don't want to fall.
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ginseku generated a random number between
1 and 10 ...
2!
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Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:19 am
And your testing room is...Desert- Pretty much nothing but massive sand dunes. You sink down into the sand, which slows you down a LOT. If the wind blows, the sand gets kicked up, which obscures vision.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:14 pm
Akemi yawned, tired from staying up all night, anticipating that she would finally arrive at her new school. Sad thing is, she had to take a test later in the afternoon. Her phone rang a couple of times before she flipped up the screen and it read....
Time to go take the test. Hurry up or you won't make it!
2:00 pm
She sighed, a bit worried she wouldn't do that well. Her thoughts were scrambled but she hurriedly ran towards the testing place. Akemi passed by a few people, bumping into them and showing a brief sign of apology before looking forward again. Before she reached there, a small hole opened up under her and she was sent tumbling down. A slight bruise formed or her arm as she bumped around. A shriek escaped her mouth and then, nothingness.
Akemi held onto her head, groaning as her vision as off because she was dizzy. As everything came into focus, a wind blew and sand swirled into her face. She grimaced, spitting out the sand. " Patooey! Eew! I hate this place. Don't tell me...... " she said, shaking her head. She was stuck in a desert for the test and she only manipulated water. " At least there isn't a monster right now..... " she said, slightly relieved. It appeared she had spoken to soon. While Akemi had stood in the same place, under the sand, something was moving. Almost like a whirlpool, a ton of sand began swirling around and was dragging Akemi with it. It went down and down until a monster arose, with 2 dark beady eyes and arms that rose above his head, lashing around. It's eyes came upon Akemi and it smirked, opening it's giant mouth to say something.
" So it seems I have a scrumptious meal this time. Thank god. Last time, it was a skinny, bony man. I prefer ladies. "
Akemi frowned, annoyed at his arrogance. Her brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed. " So you think you've got me cornered? I don't think so. " she replied to his smart-a** comment. I'm stuck in a f***in' desert! I can't do anything! she thought, panicking. Before she had the chance to do anything, a large spray of sand headed her way, blocking her vision before she heard the sickening sound of a bone crunching. There goes a rib.... The monster was clearly serious now. And Akemi was about to be serious as well. How? She didn't know that yet. But she did know she had to do this. The monster was pissing her off and he was about to find out, you shouldn't mess with Akemi.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:19 pm
The sand gave way as Akemi tried to move and she fell down, onto the hot, dry sand, searing her skin. Her one movable wing fluttered slightly before pausing. The other wing was still frozen. Damnit! Why doesn't it melt! I could sure use it about now! she thought, greatly irritated. The fact that the sand was blowing around like a bunch of petals wasn't that comforting either. As the wind picked up, the sand did as well. " F***! " she screamed, in a outburst of rage. If she controlled wind, she would have somehow blown sand into their own faces. A vein pulsed on her forehead and she stared down the monster. Her rib throbbed, but she ignored the slight pain from the fractured bone. Her eyes were narrowed, an aura of hate radiating from it. Her whole body radiated revenge and dislike, making even the monster drip a single drop of sweat. It trickled down the side of his body until it was absorbed completely by the sand. A darker patch of sand was on his side now. Akemi was growing crazier by the minute. At this time, all she could do was hit him. Just do it. Now. Thoughts swarmed her head and she pushed them aside, finally smirking, as if she had a plan. She rushed toward the monster. Nothing was going to stop her from trying her second to last resort.
Akemi shouted a bunch of nonsensical words including ' Argh! Grr! Raaawr! ' and the such, running towards the monster at top speed. The monster just boomed with laughter, the sounds, resonating around the room. She continued to fall down into the sand but refused to stop. The beach was one thing. This was another. As she charged forward and plunged into the sand man, she saw pitch black. A few seconds later, she came out, covered in sand. A hole was ripped through the monster and it roared in pain. It then stopped, smirked at Akemi and said one word.
Sucker.
Akemi only had a second to react when an arm came by her way, hitting her head HARD. She stumbled around, clutching her head in pain and screaming out. The only thought in her head was ' DESTROY ' An idea then flickered into her mind. What if there was moisture inside the sand? Perhaps hidden away somewhere? She closed her eyes and concentrated on water. She dodged a few attacks thrown at her. All she needed to do was calm down. Water arose from the sand, seemingly like magic. A huge wave tumbled over the monster, nearly drowning him. The sand was nearly rock solid. He could no longer recuperate and gather more sand. The monster cried out in surprise and anger. His eyes narrowed.
" You'll pay for this! I swear! You will! "
She just nodded her head and smirked. Akemi lifted herself up from the sand, dusting herself off. She then stood up and walked over to the monster, and punched him hard in the knee. His leg broke apart, into little pieces. The monster groaned before lunging at Akemi. She felt her bones crunching. Her left arm was broken and her right wing was slightly bent. A few more rib bones cracked and she felt her mouth bleed. Wiping off the blood, she laughed maniacally. The battle was about to end. It had to. She was losing a lot of blood and she could barely move. The giant knew as well. They both charged towards each other for the finishing blow.
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:14 pm
As Akemi ran, the sand fell once again and she had escaped the giant's attack. With as much water as she could gather, she sprayed it all on his left leg, leaving him stuck. She climbed up his leg and then once at the waist, kicked his leg with as much force as she could muster. His leg gave way and broke into many pieces. The monster screamed in rage and began lashing his arms everywhere. No longer having the strength to do anything anymore, she rolled over, onto her back and puffed and huffed. One of her ribs had ripped through her skin. She yelled out, no longer able to handle the pain. Just...a..little....bit...more. she thought, tears streaming from her face. They trickled down and the monster just laughed.
" Aw.....little princess can't take it anymore? Don't worry. I'll end all your pain right now. "
Akemi frowned, knowing that the monster wasn't showing any god damn sympathy at all. She stood up, grabbing onto her rib as it bled and began to heal it, the bone reforming. That will do for now. I need to kill this b******. she thought, before jumping onto the giant and climbing up to his neck. She raised her fist and the giant spoke, scared.
" Hey girl. Alright! I'll stop! Let me go! "
" Aw....who's scared now? " she said, smirking before her eyes turned dark, the aura of a killer surrounding her. " Die as payment. Don't f*** with me. Night night. Don't let the bed bugs bite. " she said, a devilish smile appearing on her face. A laugh escaped from her mouth. After that, a rush of crazy laughter exploded from her before she returned back to her main thought. 'Kill.'
" Seriously! Stop it kid! "
Akemi paid no attention to his call for help. The fist came crashing down and the monster's head fell off, broken. The whole body came apart, drifting off into the sand. She collapsed, her eyes reverting to their original color. Her face was covered with sand and blood and her hands were the same. She sighed and her eye lids grew heavy. She needed rest. Her injuries were killing her. The pain numbed over time and she fell asleep, groaning. She mumbled something about cake but then remained silent, the rest of the time. The sand blew over her, seemingly trying to choke her. The soul of the monster remained but unable to hurt her. She smirked in her sleep, dreaming of her triumphant victory.
Fin.
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Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:02 pm
I'm dropping a 70 on this, or a B-
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Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:58 pm
Scoring:
A- 85 credits
B- 75 credits
C- 65 credits
D- 45 credits
F- 20 credits
Length and Pacing: It was too quick and choppy. You have four posts you can use and you needed them. I'm docking some here.
General grammar rules: Not bad. There were still some words and basic sentence structure that needed to be fixed, but not too bad.
Personality: All I got from this was that Akemi reminds me of the bad guy who gloats whenever he/she is about to kill the superhero. I wanted more. I wanted to really understand her character.
Use of Environment: The sandstorm type attacks were good. The sand and water bit was a tad more on the unrealistic side. Sand doesn't actually have water in it, but there could be some water between way down deep. It would have been more convincing had you done the over-played pulling water from the air or such...but pretty good here
Details: I missed a lot of important details. It needed a lot more. This is where you really missed out. Beef it up next time.
I shall give you a 65 or a C
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Posted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 2:18 pm
Grade 1=70
Grade 2=65
Final Grade=67.5(<68.)
Credits earned=68
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