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 Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 8:58 pm
Well I found out all that stuff about my dad and it's haunting me. I can't stop thinking about it. Before I found out I was modeling on the track team then atherites from my mom started showing up and I couldn't run anymore without pain and I have another foot condition where I cant' wear flip-flops or heels so I can't model anymore because they want me in heels. Then I found out stuff about my dad. I can't stop thinking about it I feel awful just sitting here typing. I wish I didn't know I feel like i'll never be the same. Then I buy a 7 room house and I'm moving soon so that's awesome leaving behind bad memories here and starting over but I'm leaving the people that I grew up with and the people that were they're for me when I needed someone to talk to. I have a harley davidson now the guy we bought the house from left it in the shed so it's mine. Now I'm just waiting for something bad to happen because whenever good things start happening that means bad thing are right around the corner so I guess i'll just wait and be prepared. Not much else I can do.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 7:10 pm
I sit in the passenger seat in the car waiting for someone to crash into me.
It would be aweful.
But I still wait for it.
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Posted: Thu Nov 24, 2005 10:50 pm
Maybe if you thought about things the other way around, things wouldnt seem so bad. Like instead of thinking something bad has to happen when something good happens, think when something bad happens, good is sure to follow. Living life expecting bad things is not going to brign you any happiness. Learn to take life as what it is, with both goods and bads. Both are needed to conincide for one to exisit. Dont wait for bad things to happen, go out and make good things happen.
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