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 Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 3:34 am
Sorry I keep on posting. I feel the need to. It makes me feel lighter and more relieved. Haha. Whenever I need to calm down or chill, I write. I write in my journal. I named him Adam.
Anyway...I just need to let some things out.
1.) I just admitted to Gavin something that had shamed me for so long. Something I did a few years back. The look he gave me...He wasn't smiling or teasing like I thought he would. He looked...disappointed, or something. I couldn't bear it. He told me to chill, cause I looked like I was hyperventilating. Well, that's what he said. He told me that he wouldn't treat me different. He said he'd still look at me as his sister. I should be happy at that, but I wasn't.
2.) My math teacher is still giving me hell. He looks like a frickin' pervert and soulsnatcher.
3.) Talk to me.
4.) I have a belly now. D:
NOOO. How? How? All this depression is probably making me eat more. *sigh* And I drank two bottles of vodka cruiser last Saturday, and I told myself that I would stop drinking.
5.) I need a hug. I felt pain a while ago. As in serious emotional pain. Have you guys experienced that. It makes you clutch at your chest. I don't know. For me it does. It's not chest pain!
6.) I want some more vodka cruiser.
7.) That rose tequila tasted good.
8.) I am now starting to say, "Damn straight." Isn't it just so fetch.
9.) I tried explaining cup sizes to one of my guy friends. He didn't get it.
10.) Dd you notice, I just started talking randomly? I'm sorry.
11.) I still can't stop thinking about the look he gave me. :[
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 4:34 pm
He's a dumbass, then. Don't waste your time on him.
Hey, drinking is not the solution to your problems, okay?
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 12:24 am
Feel free to talk to me if you need someone to talk to. I am always open and I can be helpful...
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:03 am
-hugs-
its alright.
he understands and he took caution in his response. i cant give you a reasoning because i dont know what you told him. but yes, you should be happy that he said he would look at you the same way.
maybe you were disappointed? at the same time as he was, you suddenly felt you had done something wrong? but you should feel more relieved its off your chest and out in the open. im sure its not that bad. D:
your not bothering anyone by posting alot. :] i quite admire your openness >< i tend to keep everything to myself and not say anything xP
i think you need someone else to talk to x.x (ref. no. 9) maybe a good friend in real life? because they'd understand you a lot more than people on the internet, no offense.
and i get that sort of pain too.. i think its when im torn into two pieces, two sides and a part of me is telling me to go one way and the other, another, but it could never be both. and it hurts.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 2:31 am
Wes: I gave up on him already. But, I don't know. There's still that feeling.
And Of course drinking's not the solution to my problems. I know that. Don't worry. :]
Grim: Thanks. I appreciate that. Haha. I think I'm just being too emotional.
luideos: I loved the last part you said.
"and i get that sort of pain too.. i think its when im torn into two pieces, two sides and a part of me is telling me to go one way and the other, another, but it could never be both. and it hurts."
That is exactly what I am experiencing right now. Exactly.
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