My dear friend,
why are you sad?
What is it that you long for?
hope?
comfort?
from who do you wish this?
from your family?
from your god?
from a friend?
from the one you love...?
ah, but not from me.
once i ask, you flinch and shy away.
once i inquire--why do you cry?--you silence your tears,
and shun me.
am i not, at least, your friend?,
was i not, many years ago, much more?.
you cannot forget can you?,
you could never forgive, could you...?
because i abandoned you.
you will never forgive a sinner like me.
i should forget you as well,
and smile to hide behind all the lies we now share.
but, for me, it is not so easy...
i cannot forgive you.
i cannot let go.
did i abandon you?,
did i murder you?,
did i hurt you?,
was it that?,
a letter with my heart poured into it,
i sent it at the urging of a mots precious friend,
.....and i will not regret it.
but...
you and i are no more,
we are not close,
we are not happy,
we are not "friends",
...we are not....
reality hits hard, don't you think?.
i cry only for you,
my dear.
and i now understand the depth of my ability to see,
this future, oh so lonely and bleak.
the only thing i desire more than death,
which i desire greatly,
is you.
i want you to only remember me,
not the countless others,
who have forgotten you,
and now live happily--god's grace upon them.
i wish for more,
than to be the very dear friend,
of my very dear love.
i miss the wonderful someone i used to know.
i try to understand that you will never-
forget that i "cared",
and you will never know,
how much i still do,
and how much i still love you.
for the "us" that was lost,
and the memories that i unappreciated,
i'm sorry.
you cannot say you hate me,
for you are to cruel,
and kind in the same breath.
breath on me.
and give me a reason to hope,
that everything i have done,
and will continue to do,
will make no never-mind to you.
i love you my "friend",
and miss you so,
but i am to be banished,
and remain banished,
to the wasteland i was born into.
i will accept responsibility for my actions,
and return to the cruel forgotten land,
where no one shall roam,
and become to ever-fading memory,
you no longer desire to know.
forgive me,
i am a sinner of the worst kind.
i abandoned you, love,
and you simply smiled and laughed nervously.
forgive me,
forget me,
i cannot understand my own feelings,
and neither can you.
i am a sinner,
because i cannot move away.
i am a sinner,
because i never cared to stay.
i cry to god at night,
asking why i must live,
wishing i could die,
as i always will.
the day you walked nervously into my life,
i cannot forget.
i pray that i won't,
i fear that i will.
my dear friend, i desire only you,
for ever and always.
i must repent,
i must spend an eternity, loving you,
hating you,
longing to live,
knowing i'm already dead,
except for my love for you,
i have nothing else,
no-one else,
only you.
Love me,
hate me,
think of only me,
Forgive me, my sins,
for loving you,
hurting you,
longing to possess you.
i'm sorry for hurting you,
i'm not for loving you.




this poem is by My sister and i.
she wrote a poem, and i got so much feeling from it, i wrote this (lot's of stuff stolen!) so it's by both of us. ^^v