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 Posted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 7:45 am
It was a last resort,
A pointless romance from the start.
That landed in the mud, with a crippled, broken heart.
Now all that's left are empty lipstick tubes,
Ripped up n***s,
Leaving something they were stuck in like glue.
What went wrong,
What did I do?
They only know false,
They'll never know true.
Leaving something they were stuck in like glue.
It was my heart you'd stolen,
Taken just to play with,
Thrown around like a football,
Crushed when you had fallen,
For that person so much better.
Now I'm stuck up in this room,
Left with nothing to think of but you.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:29 pm
liked it.. and im sorry, i cant think of a title D:
Im bad at naming things sad
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 6:15 pm
this is a great poem. i won't give you a name for it, that is up to you. when i name a poem, i use one of the lines from the poem that i like, or a line that repeats alot in the poem for the title. use a name that comes from the heart, even if it doesn't match the poem. as long as you like the title, it's all good.
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:05 pm
Too many filler words that make it too long for no reason at points as in
"That landed in the mud, with a crippled, broken heart."
Could very well be
that landed in mud, with disabled heart.
Disabled being a synonym of both crippled and broken. Plus this will get the syllable count close for a poem with more flow.
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Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 2:05 am
i heart it....
but sorry i cant think of the name
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