This originates from a blog post I made about a year ago, and I also put it in my blog on AtheistForums.com.
So here it is in full, for everyone to see.
Quote:
Okay, I want to gather these thoughts before I forget them all some day.
I began questioning religion around grade 9. I don't know why, I guess it was just developing critical thinking at the time. I had a good friend at the time who is a loyal but not fanatical christian (a good type of theist friend for any athiest to have) who I spoke to about it. As always, he did preach but he did not mean to. I am under the impression he was repeating his Sunday school teachers nearly word for word, or summerized it to his interpretations. Either way, there was no clear answer for the questions I asked like "Why do I feel this way?" "Why is there such evil in the world?" "Surely an all powerful being could not let [concept, event] happen..."
He got around to mentioning "air". This is important because this was pretty much the first arguement I was able to counter myself. We may not SEE air, but we can feel it. We can measure it, rate it, etc. Well damn, you can even SEE it in effect if you have a scientific wind tunnel to a sheet of paper flowing in the wind.
Most of my 9th grade was into this phase, but I did not call myself an Atheist. I KNEW I wasn't that deep into thinking that there isn't a god AT ALL. I would not allow myself to close that door. Later on, Probably somewhere around 10-11th grade, I discovered a new term "Agnostic" after taking one of those stupid internet quizzes. I hate those things, but they are fun and they DID introduce to me the Agnostic term, even though I probably would have found out eventually. Still, I researched this term and told myself "Oh hell yes. This is me!" I interpret Agnostics as people who don't believe there is sufficient or any evidence that a god exists.
In the near beginning of my 12th grade year, I combined "Agnostic Atheist" to purely define what I am.
I don't believe in God. I probably won't untill it's proven. Thus, Agnostic Atheist.
[This is about where it cut off, when joining this guild]
I thought deeper into this concept, and realised something. Even if a god was proven to me, I don't believe I would worship it. Number of reasons.
1) If it were so powerful, why didn't it make me believe? Why did god not go out of his/her way to prove themselves to me?
2) I don't think they did a good job of our world. Too many problems, too many things unanswered, I don't think they would be worth worshipping. All I've had in my life is my parents Divorced, unable to grasp education (college, high school was meh), and financial problems that force my family to move somewhere else every other year, making me unable to attain any long-term friends. I only have one good friend, my Christian bud.
Which brings me to where I am today. A 20 year old Agnostic Atheist, about 2 years out of High School.
And I know I will never change.
I began questioning religion around grade 9. I don't know why, I guess it was just developing critical thinking at the time. I had a good friend at the time who is a loyal but not fanatical christian (a good type of theist friend for any athiest to have) who I spoke to about it. As always, he did preach but he did not mean to. I am under the impression he was repeating his Sunday school teachers nearly word for word, or summerized it to his interpretations. Either way, there was no clear answer for the questions I asked like "Why do I feel this way?" "Why is there such evil in the world?" "Surely an all powerful being could not let [concept, event] happen..."
He got around to mentioning "air". This is important because this was pretty much the first arguement I was able to counter myself. We may not SEE air, but we can feel it. We can measure it, rate it, etc. Well damn, you can even SEE it in effect if you have a scientific wind tunnel to a sheet of paper flowing in the wind.
Most of my 9th grade was into this phase, but I did not call myself an Atheist. I KNEW I wasn't that deep into thinking that there isn't a god AT ALL. I would not allow myself to close that door. Later on, Probably somewhere around 10-11th grade, I discovered a new term "Agnostic" after taking one of those stupid internet quizzes. I hate those things, but they are fun and they DID introduce to me the Agnostic term, even though I probably would have found out eventually. Still, I researched this term and told myself "Oh hell yes. This is me!" I interpret Agnostics as people who don't believe there is sufficient or any evidence that a god exists.
In the near beginning of my 12th grade year, I combined "Agnostic Atheist" to purely define what I am.
I don't believe in God. I probably won't untill it's proven. Thus, Agnostic Atheist.
[This is about where it cut off, when joining this guild]
I thought deeper into this concept, and realised something. Even if a god was proven to me, I don't believe I would worship it. Number of reasons.
1) If it were so powerful, why didn't it make me believe? Why did god not go out of his/her way to prove themselves to me?
2) I don't think they did a good job of our world. Too many problems, too many things unanswered, I don't think they would be worth worshipping. All I've had in my life is my parents Divorced, unable to grasp education (college, high school was meh), and financial problems that force my family to move somewhere else every other year, making me unable to attain any long-term friends. I only have one good friend, my Christian bud.
Which brings me to where I am today. A 20 year old Agnostic Atheist, about 2 years out of High School.
And I know I will never change.
