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i was depressed at the time ~3~
XD they have medicine for depression now 0_0

The Special Box

Right then and there
Those words struck me

It was because the one
Who said it was she

My body is weak
My limbs are numb
My mind is falling apart
My heart hurts a great deal

I want to burst out.
In my sadness,
It doesn't ever shine a ray of hope

Therefore, I am left
To sit in the darkness

Alone and crying
I soon fall asleep to the music
It is the only thing
That calms me

When the sadness comes
I need isolation

I never want to burst
Out my anger and sadness
On those who are innocent
Or those who caused my pain

For i know that
They don't know
Those insulting words
Hurt me so

I clench my teeth
And my fists
To stop it from leaking out
My feelings, that is

My heart throbs
And so does my head

I notice that
Someone i know
Is not trying to hold back
Those feelings

I envy them
To let out what
I have been keeping in

I do know
That these feelings
Should be let out

But somehow
It will not respond

My loneliness and scaredness
Has taken over a part of me
That, if opened
Will be bad
For me and them

A box that should not
Be opened

That is the secret to my heart
I am just a body that carries this
box

When i first came to this
World
The box-at that time-
Was open

I was free
Without worry
Letting everything happen
By nature

But my box
Was devoured
By the sad
Feelings of
Loneliness, anger
And pain

So now i am
Just the carrier
Of this locked box

Sometimes i wonder
What will become of me
When this box
Is opened

I hope someday
I may have
The strength
I need to open this
box

The lock still
Remains- like a curse-

Though i know
I truly know

That someone special
Will help me
Find my true path

Someone very special
Who will care for my loneliness
And be by me (even if we are far apart)
Someone i can depend on

That is when i know
To open this locked box
That has been
Locked for so long

The feelings
Will let loose
Without failure
Or troubles

I will continue to
Live on like
I used to
Before the box
Shut for what
I thought was
forever

I will let go
Of these painful memories
And hold onto
The ones that have
Changed me

I will also
Probably, always,
Remember the one
Who allowed me
To open my box

That one special person
And with the help of others
I will get through it all
And live on with my special people