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 Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:29 pm
 Rules:
~ No posting in a test thread unless it's your test.
~ Limited to 4 posts. You can use less.
~ You have 2 weeks to finish your rp.
~ Must use the battle field type assigned to you.
~ You create a monster of your choice, unless a different rule is specified for that test.
~ Have fun!
1~Ice- Pretty simple with this one. The floor becomes solid ice. There are random chunks of ice protruding from the floor. And of course, you have little to no traction.
2~Desert- Pretty much nothing but massive sand dunes. You sink down into the sand, which slows you down a LOT. If the wind blows, the sand gets kicked up, which obscures vision.
3~Open Field- A plain grassy field with nothing on it.
4~Ocean- A mini ocean about 40 feet deep. There are five floating platforms for battlers to stand on. The plat forms bob around and it's really hard to keep your balance on them.
5~Dense Forest- The arena is packed from wall to wall with dense, tropical trees. As in any tropical jungle, there are lots of vines and other such things to get tangled up in.
6~Land of Fire- Parts of the arena floor sink away, leaving behind pits of lava. Also, pillars of fire erupt from the floor periodically.
7~Concrete- A plain concrete floor.
8~The Abyss- Near complete darkness engulfs the arena. Dark energy is abundant in this field.
9~The Sanctuary- Opposite of the Abyss. Light energy fills the arena. Its very bright!
10~No floor- The floor drops away leaving a pit filled with spikes. There are levitating platforms at varying heights, going all the way to the top of the arena. It's hard to jump from platform to platform, and trust me, you don't want to fall.
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ginseku generated a random number between
1 and 10 ...
9!
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:31 pm
And your testing environment is......
9~The Sanctuary- Opposite of the Abyss. Light energy fills the arena. Its very bright!
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:15 pm
Devante cursed under his breath as he leaned back against the massive stack of white marble behind him. The Light energy didn't burn so much as chill him as it slowly snaked through the air. Looking up at the areana around him he observed the miraculous marble landscape of Cathedrals and shrines, Alters and crosses hovered in the air on jagged stoney platforms over an endless void below like a forgotten dream. Angrily snapping apart his toothpick in his mouth he drew it out and tossed it on the ground. As it landed a sweeping cold filled the areana and a gloriously brilliant light collected at the center of the epic circle of towering pillars that extended beyond sight.
"My Devante..." Devante jumped as the voice echoed buetifully with the serene grace of a womans call from all directions and bounced from every majestic pillar. He knew this voice, he knew it with all of his heart and yet he could not recall. Words failed him as he witnessed an orb of radiance gathering in the ring of pillars circling the enourmous ivory crusifix. "Have you already forgotten...Devante? her voice was laden with sorrow. Golden blonde hair gingerly floated behind her like wings. Saphires glowed dully in her eyes listless and lifeless. Her pale flesh was still as beutiful and snowy as that fatefull night he stumbled into her chapel. A shimmering beacon of unsurpassible perfection amongst the sanctuary of the divine.
"Rosaline...you couldn't possibly be real" he was in awe of this woman who had nurtured him from the harsh cold and saved his life. He had loved her as much as he had ever loved anyone, and she had felt a love so much greater. But she had taken an oath of chastity, she was a priestess and meant to remain eternally pure and holy. When her priest learned of her betrayl he beat the young girl across the face. Devante discovered her punishment and was swept away by emotion. He had stormed through the church and brutally murdered the man who assaulted his dear Rosaline.
It was this fierce show of demonic wrath that sent the small town into utter outrage. They chased after Devante and ran him from town and then burned Rosaline at the stake for consorting with demons, for being tainted by a demon. "Devante...I have waited so long to see you again...
"No...No, you can't possibly be here..." he tried to convince himself but it was all too real, from her girlish complexion and pig tails to the elegant white dress that enveloped her body beutifully in layers of long lace tresses. "But I am...Devante, please do not leave me she called out drenched in saddness crooning for him. Despite knowing with every fiber of his being he shouldn't even approach this woman he knew to be dead and yet he was mesmerized by her captivating allure.
Without realizing he found himself in her embrace and felt the drowzy nectar of her scent, the golden warmth of her touch. The sheer joy of being near her was unspeakable. Wearing an empty smile the woman looked down on the man ensnared in her beuty. Oh Devante...now we can be together...forever..."
A sharp stabbing pain broke her spell. A knife stuck from his back and she continued to smile with her face nuzzled into the nape of his neck, gingerly holding the blade against him. Beginning to spit blood he was still laid against her as his jaw opened and closed from the pain, but his coursing wound was nothing compared to his heartbreak. He had known it couldn't be true, and like a fool he played into her breast like a lost child.
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Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2009 1:19 pm
"You know...I had really wanted to believe that you were here, that it was possible you could be a part of my life...but I always knew that was impossible..." A knife stuck from Devantes back and drippled stains of blood into his shirt. He bared his fangs as hot fiery tears fell across his cheek. The listless shade only smiled gently with her eyes closed tenderly around her radiant pupils. "I allowed myself to be claimed by the ignorance of naivety, because I had wanted, I needed to love you again...to start over, and now I have to kill you..." he shook violently from his injury and his heartbreak before gently kissing the nape of her neck and followed by viciously gorging into her soft flesh with his teeth with an inhuman maw tearing away half of her neck exposing the bloodied bone. He shoved himself from her and spat away the non existant gore and watched with his lips glistening in blood as the illusion faded away as mysteriously as she had come. He had defeated his test but it was with no great grace or power that he should normally sport with such pride.
He only knew saddness in that moment, left to wallow in the unescapable light of the sanctuary and his own misery...
((Finished))
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Ryuka Navali Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 2:59 pm
Scoring:
A- 85 credits
B- 75 credits
C- 65 credits
D- 45 credits
F- 20 credits
Length and Pacing: Your pacing at the beginning was perfect. Your conclusion was a tad hurried. But you did wrap up the test in a logical manner.
General grammar rules: Your grammar is really good. I'm not a grammar nazi so I can't be certain, but everything seemed to flow just fine and followed the basic rules. I would suggest spellchecking everything at least once.
Personality: I saw into the soft side of your character and into the weakness of his heart. Having and showing weakness and emotions is key to having a dynamic character.
Use of Environment: You described the environment beautifully, but failed to use it at all.
Details: The way to described everything simply blew my mind. You never repeated a singe descriptive word, something that rarely has happened in this guild. The breadth of your vocabulary is quite impressive.
You didn't use up your four posts and the second post was rather lacking, but you did explain to me that you were unprepared for the exam. I'm giving you a 50. You have amazing potential and if you prepare a little more for the next exam, I can guarantee you'll get aces.
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:45 pm
Length and Pacing: The first post was amazing, hands down. You had my attention.
And then I cried when there wasn't more! Shame on you! O;>
Regardless, since it should seem Ryu pointed out you were unprepared for this test, I must, in good faith, give you what credit you do deserve for what you wrote.
General grammar rules: The grammar was excellent in and throughout your posts, the only things I saw that drew my attention were 'saddness'(one d, not two) Naivety(naievete, i believe is what you were looking for) and a few other things here and there, but otherwise, good job here!
Personality: Wow, what a softy. x} Your character has heart and emotion, that's good. You touched home with me in this aspect, so good job there too.
Use of Environment: You were like the brilliant architect and the lazy Contractor; You drew up everything rather well and put some nice decorations and such in there...but it didn't prove at all hindering, involving, or important in any major aspect of what you put down beyond making your character need a new toothpick. Again, i believe this to be that lack of preparation, and since there wasn't a real battle to cause him to move around or fight, the use of the environment became very limited. So you'll get some slack here.
Details: There were plenty, good job
Overall, I can see you doing very well in your future tests, if you simply take a bit of time to sit down and stare off into space, i'm sure you can find plenty to write about.
I'm gonna give you a C, or 65 credits.
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Posted: Sat Aug 01, 2009 8:48 pm
Grade 1=50
Grade 2=65
Final grade=57.5(rounded up, 58 )
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