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 Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:38 am
"God made us to be Relational."
I began to hear God's calling almost two years ago now.
It started off as a small seed,
As it does,
It grew and it grew and it grew.
Until one day I woke up,
It dawned on me that so many wicked things have been removed from my life.
That I was becoming better than who I used to be.
A lot better.
More self control,
Physically and mentally.
It feels good.
Giving my worries to God and having my faith in him.
That I know he loves me.
I see but a small portion of the path He's laid out for me.
I've prayed to him for proper friends,
I've found new and old ones.
I've prayed for a proper woman for me to help keep me right when I'm weak, to love, and God did make us so in His Image, so I've yearned for children of my own.
A woman, who our Faith together will grow and prosper.
The bone of my bone.
Now here I find myself with an opportunity with such a woman at my church.
She seems to take an interest in me, as I her.
I give my fears to God, but I can't help but wonder if some of my old dating habits still exist in me or not.
That I might do something to corrupt her accidentally or just plain out make a fool out of myself.
All in all, I guess I'm asking this; Is it wrong for me to think of her so much? I wake up, I pray, I think about her, I think about her, pray, then sleep. God comes first in my heart, but she's definitely second.
I asked myself, "Maybe I just admire/idolize her?", but it didn't make sense to me. When I thought about her I didn't think of myself, but rather things we could do together, or things I can do for her.
Every time I think about her, I have this feeling in my heart, I mean I don't know her too well, so it can't be love, can it?
Nothing seems to fit, other than I've prayed and God has blessed me, knows my plight and knows having a right relationship will help me to become a better Christian.
Any thoughts?
Baruch HaShem, Halləluya.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:26 pm
so it seems
if she is the woman you have been looking for then you have nothing to fear
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:37 pm
That's the thing though.
I am not sure if she is the right woman for me.
Or if I'm just over thinking everything.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:43 pm
Strigoi Vii Morti
That's the thing though.
I am not sure if she is the right woman for me.
Or if I'm just over thinking everything.
what would make you think she is not the right woman for you?
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:52 pm
I hardly know her at the moment.
But when I think of her,
I feel warm, I suppose, I wonder to myself what it'd like to hold her in my arms.
To wake up with her next to me.
I feel happy.
Then I get to thinking that maybe all I'm doing is just some normal schoolboy crush and isn't anything real.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 6:17 pm
Strigoi Vii Morti
I hardly know her at the moment.
But when I think of her,
I feel warm, I suppose, I wonder to myself what it'd like to hold her in my arms.
To wake up with her next to me.
I feel happy.
Then I get to thinking that maybe all I'm doing is just some normal schoolboy crush and isn't anything real.
is that all? give things a try and see for yourself
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:01 pm
I am.
I just don't want to come off as too strong or just plain creepy.
I am goth after all, she prep.
Though she doesn't seem to mind that at all.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:34 pm
Strigoi Vii Morti
I am.
I just don't want to come off as too strong or just plain creepy.
I am goth after all, she prep.
Though she doesn't seem to mind that at all.
ahh you will do fine
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:43 pm
Oi,
I don't know.
I'm not exactly a people person,
More of an anti-socialist.
Nor do I do well in crowded environments.
Though I plan on talking to her tomorrow at church,
Suppose all I can do is pray.
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 10:53 am
Strigoi Vii Morti
Oi,
I don't know.
I'm not exactly a people person,
More of an anti-socialist.
Nor do I do well in crowded environments.
Though I plan on talking to her tomorrow at church,
Suppose all I can do is pray.
So how did it go?
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 1:41 pm
Not so well.
I think I just made her uncomfortable.
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:48 pm
Strigoi Vii Morti
Not so well.
I think I just made her uncomfortable.
what did you say?
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 5:44 pm
I asked things of her.
Related to her.
Told her we should hang out together,
Mebbe get some dinner at some point.
She said we should hang out.
Said she didn't know about dinner.
She was dreadfully tired and out of it.
So I don't know.
Mebbe I'm just an idiot when it comes to girls.
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:03 am
Perhaps women make us men into fools
so whats next
the friend date? ya know, where you and your friends and she and her friends all go do something
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Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:24 am
Hehehehe.
I've but two friends,
Neither suitable for a proper 'friend date' as you call it.
Nor am I one to do things in groups.
I'm an anti-socialist, remember?
I don't know what's next.
I promised God I would try.
So I did.
So I've seemingly failed.
If she talks to me this Wednesday,
I'll take it as a sign to continue.
But I've no wish to make her feel anymore uncomfortable than I've already done to her.
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