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Reply Chisel and the Stone (Writing only
A New Kind of Hallucinogen

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Aeriodite
Crew

PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:41 pm


Just a little project I did to get rid of writers block. A small piece of flash fiction, about 289 words I believe

Static? White noise? No, something else. Waves. The ocean. Beautiful.

The creature woke, lying on a bed of cool sand. Not entirely human, but not yet corrupted. Piercing amber eyes looked out like planets in a pitch night sky. A vast blue ocean that glowed as though charged with electricity, and the sand itself shimmered without any light. Like small mirrored beads they soaked up the blue color of the water as the tide rose, then faded to the black color of the sky as the ocean exhaled. The water breathed. It lived.

The not-so-human relaxed, staring out into the horizon's farthest reaches. A warm breeze fluttered through the sand, shifting the small reflective orbs as they crescendoed a wave of whispered sounds. The ocean took a final calming breath, and the water slowly receded into the sand like a dying animal, along with the winds who too fell with a bittersweet lament.

"What?" the creature spoke, his voice never echoing back. Franticly, he dug into the glass sand. "No!" his voice grew quiet. "No!" he screamed silently.

The ground shook. The sands once again shifting and filling the air with their whispers. Crash! A spire made of the same blackness as the sky punched through the sand. Crash! Another burst forth from the ground. The spires stabbed into the sky, polluting the once placid landscape with malicious greed.

"Stop!" the creature screamed. No sound came forth.

The spires halted. A great roar boomed through the air, like steel moaning, and buckling under immense pressure.

"No-" his voice calmed, but barely above the quietest whisper, "I don't want to go back," he whimpered, staring up into the wounded sky. "Don't make me go back!"

Comments greatly appreciated
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:45 am


Some similes, some metaphor, but not an over-use of either. This is something I fail at... good work.

zfatal
Captain

Toothsome Fairy


The Amazing Flying Circus
Crew

Eloquent Elocutionist

PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:54 pm


And no explination, as usual! D8
PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:45 pm


That masterpiece doesn't need explanation! Read it again! And if that doesn't work, keep reading it until you understand it! xd

User Image

Two PHAIL! stickers in one day? Tsk, tsk. xd

...Anyway, excellent work, Phish. *claps my hands together once*

Kayenism
Vice Captain

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Chisel and the Stone (Writing only

 
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