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 Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:37 pm
 Rules:
~ No posting in a test thread unless it's your test.
~ Limited to 4 posts. You can use less.
~ You have 2 weeks to finish your rp.
~ Must use the battle field type assigned to you.
~ You create a monster of your choice, unless a different rule is specified for that test.
~ Have fun!
1~Ice- Pretty simple with this one. The floor becomes solid ice. There are random chunks of ice protruding from the floor. And of course, you have little to no traction.
2~Desert- Pretty much nothing but massive sand dunes. You sink down into the sand, which slows you down a LOT. If the wind blows, the sand gets kicked up, which obscures vision.
3~Open Field- A plain grassy field with nothing on it.
4~Ocean- A mini ocean about 40 feet deep. There are five floating platforms for battlers to stand on. The plat forms bob around and it's really hard to keep your balance on them.
5~Dense Forest- The arena is packed from wall to wall with dense, tropical trees. As in any tropical jungle, there are lots of vines and other such things to get tangled up in.
6~Land of Fire- Parts of the arena floor sink away, leaving behind pits of lava. Also, pillars of fire erupt from the floor periodically.
7~Concrete- A plain concrete floor.
8~The Abyss- Near complete darkness engulfs the arena. Dark energy is abundant in this field.
9~The Sanctuary- Opposite of the Abyss. Light energy fills the arena. Its very bright!
10~No floor- The floor drops away leaving a pit filled with spikes. There are levitating platforms at varying heights, going all the way to the top of the arena. It's hard to jump from platform to platform, and trust me, you don't want to fall.
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ginseku generated a random number between
1 and 10 ...
5!
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Posted: Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:39 pm
And Tasariel...your testing arena IS.....
5~Dense Forest- The arena is packed from wall to wall with dense, tropical trees. As in any tropical jungle, there are lots of vines and other such things to get tangled up in.
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Posted: Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:33 pm
She stepped into the building, not sure what to expect. She’d been told that she was there for some kind of exam, but she wasn’t sure what it would consist of. Hopefully not an essay or something horrible like that, she was terrible at those. But as she walked in, a slightly familiar odor met her nose. It smelled like… Life. Looking around, she was met with a sight that almost made her smile in delight. It was a jungle of some sort. The canopy was green, the underbrush was thick, and everything was as she’d expected. It was a little different from her forest back home, but that didn't really matter. It was the closest she'd gotten to her home for a while. She stepped further into the room, pulling her wings tight to her back, hoping that she didn’t get caught up on anything, but failing almost immediately as she tripped on a root sticking out that she hadn’t seen - because she’d been too busy thinking about her wings and her forest. Looking around, she found that the hazy mist that was perpetually clinging to the lower levels here impaired her vision a bit. It also made her uncomfortably hot, which she wasn’t used to feeling around trees. Her own forest had been nice and cool, home to a wide variety of animals trying to escape the heat of the summer sun. Deciding that walking was the best way to get the still, damp air moving, she headed deeper into the indoor jungle, wondering what kind of an exam would be in here. When she got farther in, she paused to wipe the sweat off of her forehead, and catch her breath. It was far from easy to walk around in this place. She kept getting caught up on things; her wings were probably going to be bruised terribly the next day. It was then that she heard a voice that made her skin crawl.
”Why hello, my sweet. Come to play a game with me?” She didn’t like the sounds of that voice, it was high-pitched and sickly sweet, but she went with the cautious approach anyway. ”Um… Hi. I’m Rae… Who are you? Are you… Are you here for the test too? Oh, sorry, I probably shouldn’t ask you that… I don’t know if it’s against the rules or anything.” She looked around, wondering where the voice had come from, curious to see if there were more people at this school that were friendly and kind even though everything in Rae's experience told her they were the opposite. ” I um… I have some friends, if you want to meet them… I’m sure they’ll like you too, if they’ll even accept me.” She just heard the voice chuckling, and another tingle of fear shot down her spine. She wished Anton would show up… He knew what was normal and such, he could deal with the whole conversation, and she wouldn’t have to do it and mess it all up. She was a little surprised that she thought of him at a moment like this, but she supposed that it only made sense, since he did have more experience dealing with people than she did. Still, there was a hint of something more... She wished he was here because she was a little bit frightened. She kept moving, spooked since the owner of the voice hadn’t come forward yet. She tried to keep her back to a tree, or a bush, or anything that she knew another person wouldn’t be able to reach her through. But it was difficult; she was stumbling all over the place. She was losing feathers where her wings were sure to have bruises, because she kept smacking them on branches and hanging vines and things. A rustling in the trees straight ahead caught her attention; her hand flew to the hilt of her sword, and her wings went backwards, creating a more aerodynamic shape for rushing forward for an attack. But then a brightly colored tropical bird burst out of the underbrush, scaring the bejeezus out of her and making her laugh a little at herself as she straightened her posture. The bird landed on her shoulder, obviously not affected by her freakout.
”Don’t you remember me? We’ve met many times before… I’m a little disappointed in you, Rae. I know your memory isn’t the best, but we shared so many moments together. Rae looked around, she just couldn’t tell where the stupid voice was coming from! And she couldn’t remember it at all… She had no idea what this person was talking about. Then something tickled her nose. Well… Not tickled in the sense that it was unpleasant. In fact, it was the most tantalizing smell she’d encountered in days. She didn’t quite recognize it yet, but she knew that she wanted it. She wanted it right away. So she barreled through the forest, ignoring the battering her limbs were taking as she shoved her way through hanging vines, and brightly colored flora, some of which left little scrapes where thorns met her flesh. She did smack her neck and arms a few times as insects – probably bloodsuckers of some kind – went in for a bite. When it felt as if she must be on top of the scent, she tripped over a rock that was half-buried. The bird on her shoulder squawked loudly in indignation, fluttering up towards one of the trees to sit and watch her warily. Unable to recover her balance, she went falling forward, right next to a dead cat of some kind. It was rather large, certainly large enough to have spilled a huge pool of blood in the area around it. She’d landed almost face first in it, and one hand was covered in the sticky carmine liquid. She cried out in horror, a cross between a scream and a hawk’s screech. It couldn’t be. She closed her eyes to block out the sight. Her mind was a rush of different thoughts, all of them rushing full-speed towards the slightly less-than-together part of her brain. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t keep the image out of her head, and she certainly couldn’t block out the smell, no matter how tightly she squeezed her lids shut. She held the now-crimson hand up to her face, and sniffed deeply, trembling with the effort of trying to keep herself away from it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:07 pm
Rae started giggling madly, feeling the inexorable pull of the delicious substance. ”You like the present I left for you?” She felt her mind shattering, like a jigsaw puzzle that was tipped on its side. I do love the smell of blood in the morning… Mixes so nicely with the morning dew… Her tongue extended, almost of its own volition, and lightly touched one of her blood-soaked fingers. An explosion of the delicious flavor occurred on her tongue, and before she knew it, she was lapping the blood up desperately until her entire hand was clean. She moaned loudly in pleasure as the cooling liquid slid down her throat, and she started moving closer to the body, hunting for the warmer blood that had flowed out of the creature more recently. Then her neck snapped up at the sound of the voice again. ”Enjoying yourself?” A cruel smile lit on Rae’s face as she finally saw her enemy. For this one was her enemy, regardless of how cordially they may have treated each other in the past, she was not friendly. A brief flash of wonder crossed Rae’s mind as she wondered how they got this wild monster in here. But it was eclipsed by rage as she let her eyes take in the full sight before her. Up in one of the trees, hanging from one of the vines that criss-crossed the entire jungle; was one of the experiments that had been set loose when Rae had escaped. She was something like a spider, which led Rae to feel like that might be what she was crossed with. She was a head, with eight identical arms sticking from a half of a torso. Rae wasn’t sure exactly how she even lived, but she wasn’t sure how she herself could survive either. Normally they avoided each other, even though Rae had been tempted to kill this monster more than once. But now, with nothing inhibiting her, she rested her hand on the hilt of her sword.
”Oh yes. I’m quite enjoying myself. Care to join me and make my day even better?” She half-drew her sword, so that her meaning was not misinterpreted by the other whose mental makeup she didn’t fully understand. ”Why, that’s a very dark quality you have there… Do your precious ‘friends’ know that you would lap up their blood like a starved kitten if you ever had the opportunity?” That comment hit a nerve. She gritted her teeth and rose from her crouched position, again setting her wings at a proper angle for a faster striking speed. ”I wonder how yours tastes.” She felt like a prisoner in her own mind, trapped inside a small dark corner, hammering at the walls, screaming at herself to shut up, to stop right now. She was better than this, she was in control, she was a strong woman, and she could stop herself whenever she wanted. Guilt fell on her shoulders as usual; as she lost the battle for her sanity, and felt her more primal urges take a firmer control. Her pupils dilated, allowing more and more light in, so that the greens were even brighter, and every single movement by a bug or a leaf was noted in some section of her brain that she couldn’t even begin to attempt to locate. ”Big words from a little girl. Tell me, do you really intend to fight me? You know that if you lose you will die. It will not be swift, or at all painless.” Pulling her sword completely from its sheath now, she set herself into her favorite defensive posture. She held the sword upright, hilt just below her chin, with one hand placed against the flat of the blade. This allowed her to push the sword to the side with greater speed, should she need to evade a blow that way.
”My age is not important, only my desire and ability to kill you. And yes, I’m going to fight you. And when you are dead, I will suck the blood out of your cooling corpse.” She knew she shouldn’t be so bold, she shouldn’t speak as if she knew what she was talking about. She wasn’t sure how she was going to kill her, or if she even could. But it didn’t matter if she died, did it? She could die a thousand times over, as long as she did it keeping this creature from wreaking havoc among the people and things that she loved. She was pretty sure that this creature… Ariadne was her name. She knew that Ariadne killed by injecting a slow-moving toxin into the bodies of her victims, slowly turning them to an easily digestible liquid within their own skins. She also had no doubts that the process was very painful. But neither mattered. All that mattered was the smell… The delicious, delightful banquet laid before her in a splash of scarlet across deep forest green. Nothing mattered but the thrill, the battle, the kill, and the feast. Nothing. She didn’t matter, her life didn’t matter, nothing did. She would kill this monster, kill her and enjoy it. She expected the beast to make the first move, but what she didn’t expect was that Ariadne would disappear up into the upper foliage. She looked around cautiously, looking for her enemy, and stamping her foot in frustration when she couldn’t find her. She was turning this way and that, looking in vain among the leaves above her head, and grinding her teeth when it hit her. Well, something hit her. A well placed blow to the thin patch of flesh directly between her wings sent her crumpling forward, the sword clattering to the ground, and her face landed in the pool of blood. She laid there for a few moments, twitching and desperately trying to lick up the blood that her face was planted in.
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:19 pm
As she lay there, she heard the voice again, taunting her. Always taunting her. ”Well now, did I hit a nerve? I do believe I did, though certainly not one of the figurative persuasion. I wonder how long you’ll stay like that. Long enough for me to kill you? Perhaps… But I enjoy the battle – the challenge – just as much as you do. So let’s wait, hm? See just how long this keeps you down for.” Rae knew that she was fast. She could kill a cougar in a split second after it had already spotted her. She could cover the distance between herself and an enemy in a clear field in a few seconds. But she was coming to the realization that no matter how fast she was, Ariadne would always be faster. She had the advantage here, her arms could easily grasp the hanging vines and branches, and she had no wings to get caught on anything. But Rae couldn’t process that it meant she might lose. She only wanted to kill, destroy the creature who threatened her. Rae broke from her position screaming. Bursting upwards in a whirl of feathers and flesh, she spun on her heels, coming face to face with Ariadne. Moving her sword lightning-fast, she took off one of the spider-woman’s many hands, leaving the smiling creature screaming in horror as well. She didn’t stop there, though. She attacked the woman with everything she had, though she only landed one more hit. It was a glancing blow, but it left a nice gash along the creature’s torso. However, Ariadne’s lanky and segmented body kept either of her hits from being fatal. The creature managed to dance out of her reach, as Rae was brought low by a vine catching on her wing yet again. She landed heavily on her back, grunting in pain as her wings bent in ways that they weren’t prepared for. ”Stupid b***h. Do you know how long it will take for me to regrow this hand? Look at you. You can’t even control yourself. You’re going to hurt yourself, and you’ll kill everyone you love. Just like you killed that little boy I was going to eat. You can’t even stop yourself. Oh wait. No one loves you. Don’t worry, you’ll kill them anyway. You goddamn uncontrollable monster. You’re a freak, just like me. Accept it, and then you can kill and be happy about it. Instead of pretending that you have morals of any kind.
Rae lay there breathing hard, trying to block out her words, but she could no more stop herself from hearing than she could stop herself from breathing in the smell. The smell! It was delicious, it was beautiful, it made her mouth water, it made her want to punch the ground in frustration. She had to have more. She had to have it; she had to have it now. Her eyes shot open as Ariadne continued her little diatribe. No one loved her. No one loved her. She was alone. It was better that way. She would kill them, kill them all, and she would enjoy it. She loved it. She’d killed that little boy; she’d killed him and drained him, and then spent days trying to die, but was unable to. She should kill, it was her right. But she couldn’t, she loved humans, she loved them despite their anger and fear and hatred. Would she kill Anton? Would she kill Sophia? She could… She would, if she ever lost control, she had no control. Ariadne was right. She screamed, her face twisted in rage, when the monster called her a freak. ”Shut up! Shut up! I know I’m a freak! Shut up! I will not kill them! I can control myself! Shut up! But she couldn’t control herself. She flapped her wings hard, using her momentum to rise to her feet and run at the beast taunting her. She wasn’t seeing clearly, there was a pressure in her head; rage – heavy and comfortable – fell over her clouded brain. She slashed and stabbed wildly, missing repeatedly as Ariadne managed to slash both of her arms, and tear a handful of feathers from one of her wings at the same time. Rae didn’t know when she’d picked up the sharp rocks that left deep ragged gashes in her flesh, but it didn’t matter. Rae saw and briefly noted that the colorful bird who had thrown its lot in with her was laying on the forest floor in pieces. She’d killed the little bird, too. Would she kill everyone?
As Ariadne tried to regain her position above Rae, where she was able to do the most damage and taunt the winged girl safely, Rae again swung wildly in her general direction. This time she got lucky, taking an entire arm with her this time. The tell-tale shriek made her laugh, hysterically and madly, and back up a little. ”You stupid winged freak! I know exactly how to flip your switch, and some day, when you’re minding your own business, sitting with the people you like to pretend are your friends, I will flip it, and you will kill them all. And I’ll be there, laughing while you do it. You’ll pay for this. Scratch that. You’ll pay for it now. That will just be entertainment.” Rae had taken that moment to set herself into a haphazard guard, feeling the blood gushing from her arms every time she moved them, the only blood that didn’t attract her. She could smell it, but the blood oozing from the disgusting creature’s flesh interested her more than that. She could bleed, she could die, as long as she killed her and got to taste that crimson liquid before it happened. Gripping her sword with both hands, she smiled as her bruised and wounded muscles protested. She watched Ariadne come flying at her as if in slow motion. She swung, but didn’t expect that her sword would go through an arm like a hot knife through butter, that the monster would continue flying at her and land on her wings. The weight wrenched her neck backwards, pain shooting through her back and head. The migraine that was her almost constant companion grew worse. She felt the flesh on her neck and shoulders part for the crude stone knives that Ariadne held, and she screamed as a chunk of hair and feathers was torn from her head.
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Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:20 pm
Flapping her wings rapidly, she flung off her opponent. Ariadne went flying into a tree, making a loud thump and sinking in a bloody mass to the jungle floor. Rae struggled to get over there and finish the job. Her sword fell from her hand; her arms had grown too weak to hold it up any longer. She ended up shuffling on her knees, ripping vines that caught on her with her inexorable and unstoppable forward progress. When she finally reached the downed figure in front of her, she laughed. ”You can’t make me pay. You can’t make me do anything.” With those words to haunt the awakening Ariadne, she tore into the creature’s neck with her teeth and fangs. As blood came spurting into her mouth from the jugular vein, she fastened her lips onto the spot, and felt Ariadne’s ineffectual struggles as she drank her fill of blood. When she’d drank as much as her stomach could hold, and Ariadne was very much dead, she tore herself away from the corpse and scooted away towards where her sword lay. The blade was covered in blood, and even though she felt as though her stomach might burst, she felt herself lapping it up anyway. Cold reality was returning slowly, as was the guilt that she knew she couldn’t ever escape. She’d killed again, and her stomach was filled yet again with the blood of a victim. Ariadne was… Not like her, but similar enough that she deserved better. It wasn’t her fault that she’d been turned into a monster, any more than it was Rae’s fault. They just had to try to survive with the skills and abilities that they were left with. And Rae had ended Ariadne’s life. She didn’t deserve that power. She didn’t have the right to destroy something like that.
She curled into the fetal position, and keened softly for the spider-woman that she’d killed only moments ago. She must have fallen asleep, for when she woke she was in the infirmary, with bandages on her many wounds. Sighing, she knew that she would punish herself later, in the dark of the night, when she was alone and no one could hear her speaking to herself, or screaming. She smiled pleasantly at the nurse, who couldn’t see the horror and unhappiness in Rae’s eyes. She couldn’t cry, she had to keep all of the emotions locked up inside until she was by herself. When the nurse told her that she could leave as long as she was careful, she smiled politely and thanked her politely. She headed back out onto the campus, flinching at every noise again, afraid of everyone, afraid that someone would set her off and Ariadne’s predictions would come true. She was in control. She would prove it to herself. She had to believe that she wouldn’t hurt everyone she loved the moment her 'switch was flipped.' She didn't want to believe that it could be so easy. She didn't want to believe Ariadne spoke the truth. But she was afraid, deep in her heart, that she really was just a freak, a monster who wanted to kill everyone and everything beneath her well-meaning childish exterior. She knew she didn't deserve any of the qualities that she'd gained from the beautiful hawk, but she wanted to believe that she used them the best she could. She knew she couldn't constantly fear that she was a horrible monster. She had to believe that there was still some good in her, and that she could somehow allow it to triumph over all the horrible thoughts and desires in her brain and body.
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Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:20 pm
Length and Pacing: The posts were long and consistent in pacing before, during and after the battle. Good job
General grammar rules: You followed the rules of grammar rather well, nice one.
Personality: Your character had tons of depth, you displayed a personal weakness and breakdown.
Use of Environment: It was obvious in every post you were in this environment, you applied the rules of the environment properly to limit your character.
Details: Very detailed EVERYTHING
I can't see giving you anything but an 85 as a grade.
Anything else doesn't cut it.
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Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 6:10 pm
Scoring:
A- 85 credits
B- 75 credits
C- 65 credits
D- 45 credits
F- 20 credits
Length and Pacing: You paced yourself nicely and although towards the end I somewhat found myself wondering when it would end, overall not bad at all.
General grammar rules: Well you weren't horrible, but there were still several things that bothered me. A suggestion to catch the few mistakes I found would be to reread your posts and make sure that there aren't conflicting words. Make sure to work on your sentence structures because some of your sentences seemed borderline run-on and that's a big no no. Also try and mix up words more. I mean you did a pretty good job of that, but there are other words you could use instead of looking. I was really tired of that word by the end of it.
Personality: You really brought personality to the entire test. I loved the cute little rhyme about the sight making Rae smile in delight.
Use of Environment: Kudos to you is all I can say
Details: Whereas your details of the forest were amazing, I still didn't get a full sense of what Rae or Ariadne looked like. Until you called Ariadne the spider woman, I was sure if that's what she was or not. With Rae you described several things about her, but I'm still only walking away knowing that she had feathers, wings, speed, and a sword. Does she have hair? Eye color? Height? etc.
I'm giving you a 70 as a grade. I am still not fully convinced on this test, but I think you have amazing potential and would love to see more tests/posts from you. Good work!
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 10:23 am
Grade 1 =85
Grade 2 =70
Final grade = 77.5(rounded up)>78
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