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 Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 8:44 pm
I masturbate a lot to say the least. And I know it sounds awkward but it's because I never feel a release of tension. And when I had a boyfriend, he'd finger me and I'd still feel little to nothing.
What am I supposed to feel?
It was like there was no stimulation at all. At the time I wasn't worried about it, but now I'm a bit bothered. I've actually watched porn to kind of look for something, not sure what. And all that got me was sure that porn is full of fake orgasms.
My friend once said, "If you can't make yourself feel good, you can't make your boy feel good." I am mortified that she might be right.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:56 am
I don;t think your friend knows what she is talking about.
Usually physical pleasure for the guy is more or less a given. Them entering us feels very good to them.
It is different for the girl, because the area responsible for most of our pleasure normally is not stimulated during sex. The clitoris usually requires stimulation from a hand or mouth, and that is what brings most women to orgasm.
How have you been masturbating? If you have only been fingering yourself, maybe try touching your clitoris. (The clitoris is a small round bit of flesh located at the top of the v****a. you may not be able to see it.) It is very normal for women to derive no pleasure from the vaginal cavity itself.
When I am fingered it hardly gives me any physical pleasure, although it does turn me on.
Something which I believe is more true, and is -similar- to what your friend told you, is that sometimes if you don't know how to pleasure yourself, your partner will have a difficult time figuring out how to pleasure you.
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Posted: Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:33 am
You're right, porn is often full of a lot of fake orgasms. A lot porn stars are really nothing more than paid actors. So porn isn't always the best place to get a decent sex education or a decent understanding of what feels good.
Like !namorata said, it's usually a lot easier to please a man than it is to please a woman. Sometimes it takes women years to find out exactly what they like.
So keep trying different things. You can try vaginal, breast, or a**l stimulation. But the clitoris is usually the way to go since that's how the vast majority of women orgasm. Vaginal stimulation feels nice for me, but there's no way I can orgasm unless there's clitoral stimulation involved as well.
But that certainly doesn't mean that orgasms during intercourse are impossible. I find my partners can easily stimulate my clitoris with the area just above their p***s when they're doing their natural in and out rhythm in the basic girl on top or guy on top positions. Have you ever gotten on top of a partner or had them get on you and rub while fully clothed? Same idea. Whether fully clothed or naked and having sex, that rubbing motion can stimulate the clitoris.
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