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 Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:57 pm
Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for a few months, but lately it's become pretty much impossible to do it. At first it hurt, then it was a little painful but mostly pleasurable, now it just hurts. a lot. my vaginal muscles clench so tightly he's forced out, and my legs tense and push against him, like my body is trying to push him out and away. I hate this, I'm very upset that I can't have sex and I feel like a useless girlfriend for not being able to have sex. besides, I like sex, and I want to have it.
What do you think is wrong with me? I'm thinking of seeing a doctor, but is this a physical problem or a psychological one. (background: I was abused in high school).
maybe all I need are a couple pot brownies xd (joking . . . sort of)
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 3:52 pm
That's a psychological problem. It's somewhat common among women who have been raped or even just women who have experienced pain during sex. What often happens is that a woman will be too dry, will experience pain during sex, will be afraid of feeling pain the next time as well, and will tense up as a result of that fear, which then makes sex difficult.
Most women can solve the problem on their own. But it takes patience, communication, and an understanding partner. Get a water-based lubricant. Make sure you're in the mood before attempting sex since the v****a expands when we're aroused. Have your partner go slow, or you can control the pace. Stay relaxed. If you start to tense up, don't force it. Take a break if you need to and try again later.
If you're unable to get past it on your own, talk to a therapist.
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Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:40 pm
LorienLlewellyn That's a psychological problem. It's somewhat common among women who have been raped or even just women who have experienced pain during sex. What often happens is that a woman will be too dry, will experience pain during sex, will be afraid of feeling pain the next time as well, and will tense up as a result of that fear, which then makes sex difficult. Most women can solve the problem on their own. But it takes patience, communication, and an understanding partner. Get a water-based lubricant. Make sure you're in the mood before attempting sex since the v****a expands when we're aroused. Have your partner go slow, or you can control the pace. Stay relaxed. If you start to tense up, don't force it. Take a break if you need to and try again later. If you're unable to get past it on your own, talk to a therapist. Seconded. 3nodding
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