Do I say Dear Diary here? It sounds so cheesy. Naming my diary sounds cheesy too. Maybe I’ll come up with a nice name I can stand sometime later. For now I guess I just needed to get this all out. Soooooo..
To Whom Who Would Read This For Posterity –
So there was darkness, right? And then it was like, crushing me. And for some reason there was this noise like metal, rushing water and then all the blackness became blinding white.
Yeah it sounds pretty dramatic and stuff but that’s all I can remember! So it’s this weird thing. This weird a** day that I can’t really accurately describe. I don’t really remember anything before today. I just know where I woke up and what happened after. It’s like some soap opera. See? I know how to write and I can clearly read and I know how to reference stuff like soap operas.. but something tells me that today was my first day. Maybe not ever alive, but my first real awareness.
It’s weird being a beautiful woman like myself and feeling like you are new born. Especially when you wake up wet and naked. That’s how you’re born right? So I wake up wet and naked and there’s this absolutely gorgeous man there and I am blinking cause for some reason all the light was really bothering my eyes. So I blink wildly and this gorgeous man is smiling at me and he says…
“Excuse me, miss, but maybe you’ll want to put something on.”
Oh my god, he was so dreamy. He had these gorgeous green eyes and chiseled abs. Oh yeah did I mention he was shirtless? Yeah. I don’t really care much about being naked. I guess when you are first born you know no shame. But I gave myself a once over and despite our physical differences I made sure he knew,
“Whats wrong with how I am? And.. where am I?”
I had no idea, really, and I totally wanted this gorgeous guy to help me go… wherever I needed to go. I pushed myself up on my arms but my legs were a different story. I admit I needed a little help. Yeah, I have tentacles apparently. Sure it came as a surprise kind of, but they felt natural and right. I am a natural woman! Ha. Where did that come from? Anyway.. tentacles in water are great but tentacles on land are a little hard to manage.
So while I wobbled, this hunk of man is helping me up. I had to put my arm around his neck and be really careful cause I have these little spine things (I could totally tear someone up if I wanted!). But anyway this whole family apparently was having a nice beach day and suddenly I hear women screaming and stuff!
“What?” That’s me saying that by the way. “What’s with the screaming?”
Dreamboat (as I call him in my head) starts to laugh, “Well you are a naked woman.. with tentacles.”
“So?” I don’t care. He seemed to think I should. But hey, if Dreamboat wants to clothe me, he can find some clothes right?
So I managed to stand up and I wobbled and experimented and moved around a little. It’s not easy, I’ll tell you that, but I got used to it. Dreamboat found a beach blanket and had torn it up to make me a little top and skirt. Really cute for an improvised ensemble! It really hugs my curves!
So then I start to think. Who is this sexy man and why, other than my clear irresistibility, would he be taking care of me on the beach. So I am like,
“Who are you? How did you find me here?” And I give him this grin, you know, the cute kind.
He stuttered a little, like he didn’t expect me to ask. “I’m uhh.. Kevin.” Once he’d gotten his name out, Kevin gave me a grin and I so melted. But he still seemed fishy. “This guy I work for told me that you would be here at this day at this time. So I’ve been enjoying the beach and waiting. You are Hela, right?”
His story seemed flimsy but I had nothing to go on. This Kevin guy seemed really thrilled to meet me so maybe his employer did send him. I also didn’t really know if Hela was my name but what other naked tentacled girl could be here on this beach?
“Yeah.. I am Hela.” I made sure my new ‘clothes’ were on straight and thought I’d probe this guy for more information. “So who do you work for? Where are we headed?”
Sure, I love sexy men but I am not dumb! He could be some weird sicko! A hot weird sicko. So he starts walking. He’s suddenly wearing a shirt (which came out of nowhere, by the way) and he’s walking towards the dunes.
“It’s not very far. His name is Algernon Michelin. He’s middle aged and retired and he has a really nice house he’s taking care of for his daughter.” I thought it was weird that this guy had such solid information about his ‘employer’(totally skeptical by this point!) but so little info on everything else.
“Okay..” Yeah maybe I am a little dumb. I decided that if this dude was some weirdo that I could take him in a fight. I also decided that he was good looking enough and though flimsy, his story had some sort of direction and that I personally had no direction at all. So I went with him. But hey, not to ruin the story or anything, it all worked out in the end.
We walked for a while and the sun got low in the sky. I like the dark much better. I can see way better at night. The cool air is also nicer. Plus I was walking with a hottie! I guess I’ve already expressed how hot ‘Kevin’ was. As time went by I was more and more convinced this guy was lying to me. He'd say I was ‘amazing’ and ‘beautiful’ but it seemed like he was in awe of me, like my existence, and not like he wanted to date me or anything. Clearly a loser.
So we got to the house. I headed up the path and I realized that he wasn’t going with me. When I turned, he was gone!! What a jerk, huh? So now I am standing in front of this brilliant looking house but the person who led me here was clearly a fake. The only person I could see looked like some raggedy hobo woman walking down the street. I certainly wasn’t going to ask her if she’d seen a beautiful, green-eyed liar with washboard abs around!
“What do I have to lose?” So now I’m talking to myself. My first conscious day (that I can remember) and I am already talking to myself. But the house looked nice enough and there was this really cute kitten in the window. I heard a little boy laugh and I think thats when I decided a serial killer wouldn’t have a happy family. So I made my way up to the door and knocked. By the way, pavement + me = really uncomfortable for movement.
A boy answered the door. He was shorter than me with very pale skin and lovely lavender eyes. “May I help you?”
Oh my goodness he had a lovely voice and I just fell in love with him immediately. He was sweet and polite. Totally not my type though, way too young. I remembered the name that Dreamboat Kevin gave me.
“Is Algernon Michelin here?” How did I not realize until now that my hair had sand in it? What a bad first impression!
“Of course. Wait here please.” The little pale boy was so sweet!
I fidgeted and fussed with my hair a little. The name of this guy made me think of some stuffy old fat guy in a sweater with a comb over. When the door opened again and I saw these brilliant emerald eyes I thought for sure that Kevin had played a trick on me, but it wasn’t him. The guy in front of me had salt and pepper hair and wore glasses. He seemed really relaxed and he had the best voice! He’s totally got a british accent.
“Kevin found me at the beach and told me you hired him to get me. I’m Hela.” I tried to give the sweetest smile I could.
“I..” Oh no, he was totally flustered! “I didn’t hire anyone. Who is Kevin?” The tiny kitten from the window leaped onto the man’s shoulder and mewed at me. He looked back into the house for a moment and I really don’t know what his thought process was, but he let out this sigh as if he was just resigned to let this all happen. “Come on in Hela. You are more than welcome.”
So I guess weird stuff happens here all the time and this guy Algie (that’s what he told me to call him) just is going with the flow. There are other kids here too. They are his grand-kids but not too much younger than me. Everyone seems nice (I think there was another boy with the pale one, but the memory of the other boy is hazy) and it’s a really mixed match household. But they had a ground floor room available and it leads out into the yard where there is a pond not far back onto the grounds. I’m feeling sort of.. dry. I think I will go check it out.
I’ll get back to you on how it goes. I still need to absorb some things. Like waking up naked with no memories and suddenly having a foster family.
Like I said, I’ll get back to you on how it goes.
** SMOOCHES **
Hela
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