After All That's Happened....And Yet

[Tirissana]

So I have a new dilemma. Lupis been acting weird the past two days and today he wants to burn the bridge between me and him. Why? I don't know. Should I just do what he wants or keep being stubborn?  

[Hot lin78]

You might not want to "burn the bridge" between you two, but he apparently does. I'm not sure you want to keep that when he doesn't. Go ahead and let him.

Hot lin78  

[Tirissana]

Hot lin78

You might not want to "burn the bridge" between you two, but he apparently does. I'm not sure you want to keep that when he doesn't. Go ahead and let him.

Hot lin78

Yeah apparently he wants to start a new life. He said it once before and all. But I'm going to give him a few weeks till he pulls his head out of his bum.  

[Jessie-the-Foodie]

Well...I'm going to set my feelings on romance aside for now and explain something. People do change...Some change for the better. Some change for the worst. Some go one way and then another, and then back to the way they were...sort of. Some changes are clear and obvious, and some are subtle. Just because someone's hurt someone doesn't mean that they shouldn't be forgiven, especially if they're sorry.

And Christians should be forgiving people especially...

However, forgiveness doesn't mean, as far as I'm concerned, that one should put himself or herself in the same situation he or she was in before...especially if it seems likely that the injury will reoccur or the wound would be opened.

Also, your friend's reasoning doesn't really make much sense...and the term 'lovers', as far as I'm aware, is actually a rather sexual term...these days anyways. In my opinion it is anyway. When I hear people talk about 'lovers', it normally seems like they've either already had or want to have or often have sex with that person perhaps while being in a relationship. It doesn't seem to indicate that the person wants to marry the other and spend the rest of his or her life with the 'lover'.

Boyfriend and girlfriend also sound more sincere than 'lovers'. A couple sounds more sincere too.

I don't really think that much, if any of the advice we try to give you can help you to stop your friend...or that it'll have much effect on your friend. Have you tried praying about it?  

[ElenaMason]

Last comment here was beginning of September. Its now almost November so I have no idea how its going for you, but from everything I've read let me get this straight....

You fell in love with a friend that you know for a fact that not only has hurt you, but has hurt his lover. You know for a fact he's cheated more than once with his lover and now you two are together, but he wants to burn the bridge?

And you STILL want to stay with him???? Are you KIDDING ME HERE???

You say you're not christian, but there are some teachings in the bible that applies to every day life. In fact the ENTIRE bible is a guide to life.

For instance, one nifty little verse states that if a person is not faithful in the little things, then they will NOT be faithful in the bigger things. The biggest things that ANY relationships needs.....and I mean NEEDS is trust and honesty. If those are broken MORE than one than you have absolutely nothing.

This guy you're so in love with you claim has broken BOTH those golden values time and time again. If they're willing to break something that precious and that fragile, to put bluntly? They don't give a s**t. It doesn't matter how long you've known him. People will always have something to hide whether it be good or bad. You could be with someone for YEARS and there will still be something new to discover about them.

You also claim you are stubborn and pushy. Well you seriously need to drop that nasty habit. There is nothing worse then trying to push a relationship on someone. The more you push, the more you push them away. The guy is either interested in you or he's not. From the beginning of the thread, you claimed that he saw you only as a friend or that friends should be friends and lovers and lovers. By whatever means he meant by that, normally if a guy is interested in a woman, he'll say it. (not all guys) but most guys. Also just because you reveal all your life secrets to a person, doesn't' mean they're obligated to tell you there's.

He's just gotten out of that divorce. I know what its like dealing with a divorce and pushing him to get straight into another relationship is a HUGE mistake. They might not be ready just because YOU are. You shouldn't be getting with him anyway for the reasons I posted above. If he's still in love with his ex then TOO BAD. Life's a b***h. You either accept his feelings for what they are or you don't.

You know why he wants to burn the bridge with you so soon? Because he might have not been interested to begin with. Or maybe he found out things about you that he didn't like. He doesn't' want to tell you so he's cutting it off once and for all. OR He could just be playing some sick little game. Your love is blinding you so badly that you can't see past your own desire.

Actions speak louder than words. If you ignore this little concept, then you're going to get burned time and time again. If he's an a*****e to you to begin with, then he doesn't care obviously. He doesn't SHOW it. You need to get over him and move on to someone who will treat you better and someone who hasn't cheated on a spouse before hand.

If you want to forgive him as a friend for the things he's done. That's fine. Go for it. But getting together with the guy, whom I'm pretty sure is going to repeat the crap he's pulled, then if you get burned? Its your own fault.  

[lordstar]

Faith, Friendship, Loyalty

If one does not have all of the above how can they expect any in return?

To trust is never a fault

We must all realize that no matter how loving, sensitive, respectful, faithful, loyal, or devoted (get the idea?) a partner is they will with 100% certainty hurt the ones they love. Perhaps not knowingly, intentionally, or maliciously...regardless they will hurt those they love. Its part of love, not to be rationalized or applied to a silly flow chart. It is what it is and for all those who find love will know its worth.

Best wishes for you and your love xLady Tsukiyox  

[Tirissana]

Saint

1. It's October not even that close to November.
2. I would watch what I would say if I were you.
3. He had feelings for his ex a few months ago, however he got over those feelings and hates her guts.
4. He goes through stupid moments, then he pulls his head out of his a**. I go through the same moments and half the time I do want to burn the bridge with half the people I'm friends with when I get very depressed.
5. My last few boyfriends have hurt other people in the past as well.
6. The Bible also states to show people forgiveness.
7. I hide things from him as well.
8. You seem a little pushy yourself.
9. I'm not trying to push him straight into a relationship. He does it do his ******** self. For ******** sake.
10. Right if he wasn't so interested in me then why for the past year has he always insisted on flirting with me so damn much? Why has he always insisted on me living with him?
11. So far his actions are speaking a little more loudly than what it did in the past. He actually does deeply care for me.
12. He has changed. He's realized the mistakes he's made and he's trying to change and make up for that. Though there are those who want to ruin it.
13. I came to the realization that I am a Christian.

Basically, I didn't post anymore updates because I figured there wasn't a point to resurrecting a dead thread. So quite frankly your responses are useless and quite rude. I would bite my tongue if I were you.

Lordstar-thank you dear old friend. Your words and wishes are deeply appreciated.  

[lordstar]

xLady Tsukiyox

Saint

1. It's October not even that close to November.
2. I would watch what I would say if I were you.
3. He had feelings for his ex a few months ago, however he got over those feelings and hates her guts.
4. He goes through stupid moments, then he pulls his head out of his a**. I go through the same moments and half the time I do want to burn the bridge with half the people I'm friends with when I get very depressed.
5. My last few boyfriends have hurt other people in the past as well.
6. The Bible also states to show people forgiveness.
7. I hide things from him as well.
8. You seem a little pushy yourself.
9. I'm not trying to push him straight into a relationship. He does it do his ******** self. For ******** sake.
10. Right if he wasn't so interested in me then why for the past year has he always insisted on flirting with me so damn much? Why has he always insisted on me living with him?
11. So far his actions are speaking a little more loudly than what it did in the past. He actually does deeply care for me.
12. He has changed. He's realized the mistakes he's made and he's trying to change and make up for that. Though there are those who want to ruin it.
13. I came to the realization that I am a Christian.

Basically, I didn't post anymore updates because I figured there wasn't a point to resurrecting a dead thread. So quite frankly your responses are useless and quite rude. I would bite my tongue if I were you.

Lordstar-thank you dear old friend. Your words and wishes are deeply appreciated.

So...how is the relationship...if you don't mind sharing that is?  

[ElenaMason]

xLady Tsukiyox

Saint

1. It's October not even that close to November.
2. I would watch what I would say if I were you.
3. He had feelings for his ex a few months ago, however he got over those feelings and hates her guts.
4. He goes through stupid moments, then he pulls his head out of his a**. I go through the same moments and half the time I do want to burn the bridge with half the people I'm friends with when I get very depressed.
5. My last few boyfriends have hurt other people in the past as well.
6. The Bible also states to show people forgiveness.
7. I hide things from him as well.
8. You seem a little pushy yourself.
9. I'm not trying to push him straight into a relationship. He does it do his ******** self. For ******** sake.
10. Right if he wasn't so interested in me then why for the past year has he always insisted on flirting with me so damn much? Why has he always insisted on me living with him?
11. So far his actions are speaking a little more loudly than what it did in the past. He actually does deeply care for me.
12. He has changed. He's realized the mistakes he's made and he's trying to change and make up for that. Though there are those who want to ruin it.
13. I came to the realization that I am a Christian.

Basically, I didn't post anymore updates because I figured there wasn't a point to resurrecting a dead thread. So quite frankly your responses are useless and quite rude. I would bite my tongue if I were you.

Lordstar-thank you dear old friend. Your words and wishes are deeply appreciated.

Um, its october 25th. its close to november. and what is there to watch to say? all the things i mentioned are good pieces of advice based on other's experiences, my own experiences, or just simple common sense. you either take it or you dont. its your choice. and as i said in the beginning of my last post, it had been a while since you last posted in here so clearly i wouldnt have much idea of what has gone on since your last post aside from whats already been posted.

keep in mind i dont know this guy or anyone in here like you do. i openly admit, i could be dead wrong on all my points about this guy or not wrong on any of them. im just basing my advice based on what you've told us all. its nothing personal and i admit i can come off pretty strong, so im not trying to offend you in any way.

i already knew the date of the thread ahead of time. if you felt it was dead, then why bother posting back? there's no reason for me to bite my tongue because it wasn't an attack. life doesnt come at you all the with pity, flowers and candy. you go quickly to point out how my words aren't so "kind" enough for you and yet you sit there and claim how "worthless" my advice is. hypocrisy is what i smell here. but advice is advice. its never worthless. its a take or leave. this is your issue now. ive had my say.  

[Xahmen]

Oh, quit your ******** bitching.
Punch him in the d**k and get it over with.  

[ElenaMason]

Zahmen II

Oh, quit your ******** bitching.
Punch him in the d**k and get it over with.

LOL i totally second this notion xD