Welcome to Gaia! ::

Arts of the Midnight

Back to Guilds

Where time is not a boundary for dreams. 

Tags: arts, painting, music, movies, randomness 

Reply Creative Criticism
A poem by Meh!

Quick Reply

Enter both words below, separated by a space:

Can't read the text? Click here

Submit

Jamjams the great

Hygienic Trader

3,700 Points
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
  • Dressed Up 200
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:48 pm


Vortex

By Jamjams

Lost inside a vortex
It’s pulling me inside
It begins to spin faster
And to take me for a ride

This is like the whirlwind
Of pain and despair
From the fighting parents
Who don’t seem to care

They fight without stopping
For the stupidest things
Make them break their binds
Of that gold little ring

Although it them that are fighting
Who it hurts the most
Are those who are watching
Or who are very close

I have been stuck in a vortex
For about 3 or 4 years
With the burning of eyes
And the pain of the tears

But the storm is subsiding
And I now see the light
I am reaching towards it
With all of my might

And in the clear
Though through disbelief
I see other children
Away from grief

They reach out to me
And pull me out
Of the whirling vortex
Of Pain and doubt

I look all around me
Other kids are all there
With this same dumb expression
Or who don’t seem to care

Who are pushing away
The reality
Of that spinning vortex
All to easy to see

So know if you are stuck in this storm
Know there is light ahead
Know there is an end
To this horrible dread
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:56 am


crying I'm luvin' it!
It's exactly my style!
Dude don't change a thing! redface
Sorry too much.
hehe...

BloodLuvinChick

5,300 Points
  • Peoplewatcher 100
  • Risky Lifestyle 100
  • Team Edward 100

Jamjams the great

Hygienic Trader

3,700 Points
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
  • Dressed Up 200
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:23 am


Thankyou biggrin
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:07 pm


It was really good. I argee with the other person. Don't change it at all. It almost reminds me of my life some days...well most days..well more like every day....

Pandamoneyelephant00

Interesting Genius

7,250 Points
  • Somebody Likes You 100
  • Treasure Hunter 100
  • Forum Explorer 100

Petite Punker

PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 4:00 pm


I love the style smile
Like the others have said you dont need to change it AT ALL!
Alot of people will be able to relate to what you have wrote.
xo.
PostPosted: Sun Jun 21, 2009 9:48 am


Thank you smile

Jamjams the great

Hygienic Trader

3,700 Points
  • Money Never Sleeps 200
  • Dressed Up 200

hellhound9
Crew

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:28 pm


Very nice! Good flow, the beat is really easy to get, it's like a song, keep it up!
Reply
Creative Criticism

 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum