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Jed Retirement Promo as played at ONS! (Leave Comment, plz)

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JobsEveryDay

PostPosted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 7:54 am


timhaynie
(To be played after Jed and Marxx Hype and before the match at ONS!)

Jed was shown in a dark room he had the Saints title across the room. Jed had his back to a Stain glass window. The camera showed the Moon in the background while the lights were out just having the room lighted with the moon...Maybe a light or two also..Jed was shown with his head down while Jeds eyes were looking at the floor. Jed was wearing a suit with a cross around his neck. Jed kept looking down at the floor as some church music played. The people in the EEW truck at the arena showed a crowd shot showing a few signs. One said Rhamm "The Next World Champ". Another sign read. "Jed is an Over Rated Piece of s**t!" The camera moved to the tron showing Jed moving his head up in the promo. Jed faced the camera showing tears on his face come from his eyes. Jed looked left showing a red mark on his cheek also it showed a black eye from a match with a broomstick. When Jed moved his head to the left Jed's dirty Blond hair moved covering some of his face like black eye or even the red mark. Jed looked back down at the ground but looked left letting the light shine pass his shoulder onto the Saints Title. The moonlight showed Jed's name plate and the camera showed at the right angle making the title take the whole screen up in the Arena.The crowd were booing already at the sight of Jed but they began to get silent as it had been 20 second of nothing but showing Jed and everything.

"I'm.. I am Done." Jed said in a sympathy voice.

The camera moved to where Jed was sitting trying to get a look at his face again. The camera in the crowd picked up the sound of the reaction the crowd gave from just those few words by Jed. A few were cheering because they knew Jed was leaving or they assumed from the words. I'm done. But they weren't really sure because Jed has been known to give a load of pathos in his promos all over the wrestling world. In company's like WWFG, WWE:U, Twisted Flow, WWE:E, DCW, GWF, PAW, GCW, XCW, SWA, SCW, UXW, NAWF, AWF, XRated Wrestling, AZW, GORE, OECW, FCW, RWE, WWE:Game Over, WCWF, Carnie, BWL, UWA, AOWA, ACW, WCF, WXW, LCW, WECE, TWF/IWF, GPIW, FIP, REW, DWF, JAPW, EWS, GAIA X-CUP, EAW, GWWF, WCW, CGW, ICW, IWA, CAW, GAF, CWL, SCWF, NWA. WWE:ER, OSW, XDW, NGW, NWGA, ECW, WRW, Pro Wrestling Guild, RWA, and Finally EEW. The crowd wasn't sure what the reacted so they clearly gave a mixed reaction.

"I" The people in the EEW truck switched cameras showing Jed again. "I am Done with wrestling. I have been wrestling for a while now. Here in EEW." Jed stopped to look up towards the roof letting his hair move yet again, but he would keep speaking this time instead of stopping. "I've been in a EEW ring for 2 years this June." Jed stopped to move his head down to face a dark wall." It was Wednesday June 13, 2007! Me and a group of Radicals from RWA join EEW to take over the show." The crowd began to boo. Some how Jed knew this because he had stopped talking to take a breathe in while moving his right hand up to grab his cross that is around his neck. Jed then moved his arm down slowly also talking at the same time. " It was me, Matt Stone, Ace, Xavier X, and finally Mad Dog! Mad Dog my brother we had a few good match so when you asked me to Join this InVasion I owed it to you, RWA,and Myself. Not many EEw fans know this..But I was the First RWA world champion. Haha. Man I loved wrestling in that company. I got to see up and comer like Samoan Dan. Man we had a blast a few times wrestling. I remember getting High one day and Wrestling. Man that reminded me of my young Days in WWFG. " Jed moved his right arm up to move the hair covering his face. The camera picked up Jed smiling for the first time in this whole promo. the Camera in the crowd picked up a few cheers after mentioning Dans name. Some of the crowd remembers a hobo. "Man!" Jed sort of shouted after saying this. " RWA was a great time in a bottle; however EEW was a little better" The crowd in the arena gave a mild reaction of cheers seeing they all heard EEW Mentioned. " Since..Joining EEW after the take over, which RWA decision to pull out still haunts me every day, I signed a contract here in EEW. In which I moved of to the developmentally show. SPEED! In which I easily won every title on that brand. On that show i really developed..Myself...The Informer. The God.Among.Kings. Mostly.." The crowd booed after the god among kings remark. "Mostly. The Skilled One!" The crowd for some crazy reason cheered this nick name. But they began to boo Jed as the screen showed Jed pulling a bottle of pills out of his Suit pocket. Jed moved with his left hand to the top of pills while holding the 12oz bottle of pills. Jed moved the bottle to a side letting a pill drop into his hand. Then he tapped it letting another pill come out. Jed put the cap on the battle and placed it behind him still in Camera view. Before Jed put the pill in his mouth EEW had a sentence below Jed saying don't do drugs. Jed turned his body to face the camera and the Saints Title.

"Then since Leaving Speed. I Met my future wife.. Mary Cartwright. I re-debuted In A New Year Gimmick as...The High Flying Deadman. My nick name from the beginning of my wrestling Career. The winner of the match would face the EEW X-treme Champion. I ended up losing the match on the count of injury. In that match I. Met my Wife Mary she was a ref for that match. Which was one of the reason I lost the match." The crowd in the arena began too Boo Jed. Jed just kept talking while explaining his EEW life." I lost that match because of her.Beauty. She was the most Beautiful women I have ever met. in fact i found out we have everything in common. In which..I spoke to the owner hen. He gave me the okay to have Mary leave reffing to be my manager. In which she helped me beat Rhamm. Then. I would face my main rival here in EEW. Snypa.."The crowd gave a mixed reaction to Snypa. but move towards Boo's. " I faced Snypa in a Tv title match. In which. " Jed began to cry showing some more emotion. Jed moved his right arm over his face then moved his hair. Jed looked down towards the Saints Title. Jed then removed his suit jacket wearing a RWA T-Shirt. Which the crowd did not like the fact that the company was mentioned. Of course only a few fans knew what RWA was except for the people listening from earlier. Jed voice stopped as he started to cry. "In which that Son of a b***h deiced to Powerbomb her lovely body in a Cross of Light Tubes. " Jed looked down crying more, but after stop talking and clearing his eyes. He looked up towards the camera. Which the crowd began to show some pathos towards Jed. "Now this isn't suppose to be how wrestling is. Wrestling is suppose to be fun. Here in EEW. Hardcore is the way people go. Which that is the way the God's Gift to Pro wrestling. Myself. won the Tv Title from Snypa. But at what price."

Jed looked right moving while raising his right arm in a fist covering his face. Jed then moved his arm down. He moved off Camera. The camera then showed the Stain Glass window and the bottle of pills. The moonlight made the pills shine in a way. The camera in the Arena showed countless people it even showed Joey Styles and Taz. The crowd cheered for Jed being off screen. But the Jed was shown on screen with his Shirt off and Hair wet. His hair was now Dark black. " BECAUSE of this TV title! " Jed spat on the ground while raising the Saints Title. This was the first time Jed really called the Saints title the Tv title. "Because of this title. I became a victim. Me being burned in a Church by Snypa after Beating Harli. While My Wife.. My Wife became A victim in which some..Some GOD DAMN low life deiced to screw my wife. Wait! Not Screw. RAPE!. RAPED MY WIFE!!! " Jed threw the TV title down on a bench near the pills." I went on to keep this title. Fighting everyone, Including Joshua Danielson, I could to find out who had done it. I even lost my title to Saint Joey. He for a while.. I thought he had done it. BUT. I ended up getting my title back in. In...In a. IN An I QUIT match. " Jed looked down. He turned to show his back where their were a few scars. Some of the women in the crowd screamed but the men over whelmed with Cheers." These... " Jed took a deep Breathe." These scares are from many opponents. Saint Joey, Mike Landry, Cartwright, Matt Stone, Dauth, and finally Marxx. I mention Marxx name..Because this all started in a way.Because of You. I found out that you were the Rapist!! "

Jed moved to in front of the Bench onto his knee's. Jed moved the title n front of him. Jed put his hand together.beginning to pray.."God.. Tonight. I just wanted to say thank you for everything. But I must say this. before my match. I don't know a god. I'm no longer Your gift to the world. I'm Clearly. Just myself. I'm the Skilled One. Jed! And I.. I don't need you anymore. All you ever do for me is..." Jed stopped to take a deep Breathe. " Nothing. I've done this all on my own. God where were you when I was launched over the top rope to the ground on the outside by Rhamm? No where!! I started by myself. And I'm going to end by myself. Tonight. Win or lose. I'm going to leave EEW. Forever. This place just is harmfully to everyone. Because of wrestling here I've injured myself countless times. Either it be in a house show, regular show, or a PPV. Tonight." Jed took a few breathes. the camera in the crowd picked up a few cheers for Jed. But of course some of the fans were satanic. " Tonight. Win or lose I am.." Jed deiced to move his arms away from the prayer position to open the bottle of pills. The camera moved to a side position showing the belt in front Jed. Jed then rose the open bottle of pills. Jed open his mouth countless pills went into Jed mouth as others dropped on the saints title. Jed jumped up chewing on the pills. "If I'm going wrestle. I'm going to go all OUT! " Jed grabbed his RWA T- Shirt then ran to the door, opening it, then slamming it. Leaving His Saints Title behind in the Church back room. The camera turned to the Saints Title showing many pills over Jed's name and the Title itself. Then the camera showed Joey styles and Taz!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 12:44 am


Dear Jed,

... You have to be one of the most over-rated piece of s**t I've seen since Chuck Norris. And that's just what everyone says. How you won so many titles baffles me. I'm guessing you paid some people off, attack your opponents outside the arena, SPOILER, and maybe sucked a few-... Nevermind... Oh, and about you retiring... Good riddance. You're just another over-paid druggie that has finally decided to put their drug addiction before their wrestling career. I'll admit to not being clean, but atleast I can wrestle better than you. Hell, a broomstick, SPOILER, beat you! Sure, he's got a way with words, but even Matt Stone could take that guy down! Goodbye, Jed. Come back when you learn to wrestle. Maybe you should return to some of those 'indy' feds that show the beginners how to wrestle. Hell, they'll teach you a thing or two!... You know what, do us one better, don't return at all! Just go back to your little shack in Pensacola and waste away your life by watching old videos of your matches! It really doesn't even matter, because in a few months people are going to forget who the ******** you were. They'll say 'So, Marxx beat some nobody to win the Saint's Title? Why did this jobber have it anyways?', and the wrestling world will be a better place. Because, you see Jed... You're merely a skin mark in the underpants of EEW. In the underpants in the wrestling world overall, actually. And that's all you ever will be. But ya know, SPOILER, you could be a great politician. I've seen you backstage, always making deals and trying to convince people how good you are, how you deserve titles, etc. etc... Once, I even saw you trashing on the storyline writers because they had a decent idea for a feud, and you didn't like it because it involved your Saint's Title and it didn't include you getting the World Title... I can see you being a governor in Florida, but then I'd never go there again. Because I know you'd make it a law that everyone would have to praise your shitiness on a daily business. Oh, and SPOILER! I would rather have a three-way with Damita and Yuke than even try to act like you deserve some type of praise. You listen to ******** for crying out loud! What kind of man are you!?... Wait, I forgot, the homosexuals like that b***h... But atleast they probably can wrestle better than you. I don't wanna find out though, so, SPOILER, I'll just go ask Cartwright if they do or not.

Goodbye, Jed 'The Storyline Destroying, Homosexual, *SPOILER!* Over-Rated Politician' Haynie.

"The words weren't meant to hurt, only destroy you, my stupid son..." - 'Caleb' by Sonata Arctica

P.S. If this is some stunt to just boost yourself above The God of Punks, then I will call up Mary and ask if she wants another night of pleasure.

P.S.S. I was at Denny's when you launched over that top rope.

EEW's God,
Matt 'The God of Punks' Shanahan

Punkology


Harli_Nightmare

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:47 am


To Jed

I can't believe that I was forced to wrestle against the likes of you in a few different promotions, I mean it really put a stain on my career, which may never come off but if it wasn't for your backstage politics in WWFG, I may have been the Undisputed Champion by now. I look back on your career and to think I had respect for you because of the things you did and the way you treated Mary, was just distasteful, I hope the Human Rights group comes after you. Promos, your promos are the worst I have heard since Rhamm and I mean his promos are bad but yours are so s**t, I rather catch Swine Flu then listen to your voice. I hope they treat you like ******** s**t in the retirement village and that's probably why Maverick returned to wrestling.

Burn in Hell forever Jed.

Yours Truely. The Greatest EEW World Champion
Harli Drummond
PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:26 am


To Jed

Who the ******** are you, seriously? Why haven't I heard of this? Some loser who obtains the Saint's title and decides to retire.. You're irrelevant, you're nothing. Had you DID stay, I would have beaten you down like the piece of quitting trash you are.

You're not even worthy to be in the grace of my presence. Best of luck in your future endeavors..


--EEW Owner
Chrono Clepsydra

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:55 pm


To Jed,

I can't belive you lasted so long here in EEW! From your religious conversion alone, I'm surprised Snypa hasn't crucified you!

You used to be The Skilled One, but now you're just a nut-job. EEW will be better off without you.

From
'The Talented One' Cartwright
PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:51 am


Jed,

I can't believe I looked up to you... I respected you man... I can't believe when I started in this business, I dreamt of one day, being able to have a match against you... Well, that day's gone my friend... Have fun in your retirement home, watching stars like Me and Marxx do what you never could in EEW... Win a World Title...

Woop woop...
-Joshua Danielson

mirokuman123


Drive Type Wild

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:11 pm


Dear Jed,

You're doing a good job by following in Diego Alva's example and retiring. I don't know how I could ever lose to someone like you, but you were lucky that your god hates me. Otherwise, I'd still be Television Champion.

Snypa Rifle, "Demented Genius of Extreme"
PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:18 pm


Alas, fare thee well....

-Bob Saget

metalmanexe


JobsEveryDay

PostPosted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:11 am


A fan - About time! That rapist needs to go to jail, but no it was blamed on an innocent man Marxx.

a FAN - HEy JED i THINK hE STIL SUk anD gO ROTEN IN hAl Or DaWHoLE U DUg Wh3N U PUSHED US GR3AT FaNs aWAY!!111!1! WTF U dIk H3AD.PS!1!!!11!!!111 LOL N00B GO SUK A DONKAYs dIK!111!111111!111111 loL

A fan - I just wanted to say hello to my mom in Utah. and Jed sucks Donkey d**k! (WOOO TRL references!!)

A FaN - J3d Y dIdNt JUST SAY u RA3pD MARy11??!1!1??!!! wTF OMG WTF LOl OMG LOL N0B WA aL KNOW U lADE111111!11111!111 wTF LOL OMG LOl OmG WTF TaL tAh TRUTH!11!1111!11!1!111!1111!1!!!!1!11!111!!!1 WTF LoL LoL BuT OTHAR THAN tAHt1!1!1!1111111!!!!1111!!!1!!!!!11 OMg LoL wTf lOL U sUK ANd NEVER R3tURN11!111!!!11!! OMG OmG WtF

A Fan - I can only really say That Jed was the only heel I hated and did not like at all. He did his and knew how. I did respect him for putting his body on the line every time he would wrestle. That was before he found "God!" So Jed if you are reading this. I now have to hate a nobody Joe Shomo who took over EEW. Your Respected hating fan!

a faN - U SUK HAHAHaHAHA i wAS IN UR MoMS RoOOM LaST NIGhT RApING HeR31!!11 LULZ itS K sON I LOV u!1!1! OMG WTf BWhAhAAAH
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