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This girl's the heir to the throne, but enemies from another country come in and kill everybody in the court that they can find. Her mom shoves her into a tunnel that's one of those secrets-that-everybody-knows-about things, but just before that, the girl watches her mother's skull get bashed in.
She runs down the tunnel, finds herself in a forest, and is taken in by two people who can't have kids. Around when she turns seventeen, her cousin (who the invader-king decided not to kill, for whatever reason) finds her and tries to convince her to lead a rebellion against the king-guy. She's all, "I don't want to die. I'm not going back there."

This is about as far as I've gotten, and I don't know how it ends. I'm excited to find out, though!

My goal for this, by the end of August, is 64k. That's the 16k I've already got plus the 50k I want done. While I'm in Europe this summer, I'll take a printed copy of what I have, a notebook, and a pen, and I'll write on the plane. Go trans-continental and trans-Atlantic flights! Woohoo!


Things to watch for in posts with story.

NOTE:
At one point, there's a line of dialogue something like, "I wasn't here, you weren't here, I have to warning."
I have no idea what this was meant to mean back when I initially wrote it in November, but it's far too amusing to drop. I'll find a place for it.
Also. There's one scene that's just outside Gaia's rating, so I'll either write something else in its place, or cut the scene and post a summary here. Which do you guys want?

You can just go for a summary--tell us what we need to know about the scene.

[screams and yell] yells.
Have you ever heard a child cry? How old is she? I'd think she'd be sniffling and screaming and unable to think straight.
[They were also extremely cold] The cobwebs?
[when she though the invaders] thought

- What seems unneeded or pointless? What can be thrown away? I dunno. It's hard to tell at this point.
- What doesn't make sense? How old is this girl? Would she seriously be able to run through such a hectic scene as the beginning one without being killed or at least caught? Why the hell would she be running through it, anyway, and not running away screaming?
- Do you enjoy it? What is the best part? What's the worst part? It's not bad so far, and I mentioned my peeves in the question above.
- What needs the most improvement? The plot. I keep flashing back to Anastacia and just about every "you have to get out of here now!" opening ever. It's not badly written but it just doesn't interest me that much so far.

Hope I helped. Keep at it. :3

I'm not sure how much I really want to explain at this point in the story, and I'm not sure how to bring it in right now, but she's nine. She does get caught at one point- but the people are more concerned about killing adults who pose a threat. Taking the time to kill a child would be pointless.
How could I put that in, and where would be best?
She's running through it trying to find somebody, but it could work if she was in the throne room to begin with.

Say, she and her mother are in there, the people burst in, and the queen shoves her off towards the throne and tries to attack the guards. Would that be a more efficient opening?
I agree that it's Anastasia-esque, that was my inspiration for it to begin with.



Dayhawk:
1) I hadn't noticed that. -notes it- I'll edit a few of those out.
2) Which sentence? And what needs more description?
3) I truly despise tricking the reader. Unless it's 100% amazing, I'll put the book down then and there.
4) What is a more efficient way of explaining how she came to end up on the farm?

- What seems unneeded or pointless? What can be thrown away?
- What doesn't make sense?
- Do you enjoy it? What is the best part? What's the worst part?
- What needs the most improvement?
- Does the jump to the present make sense?

Sirit woke to the pounding of rain and a flash of lighting followed by monstrous thunder outside her tiny window. She sat up and blinked at the window, but between the sleepy haze over her eyes and the blur of rain on the window, she couldn’t see anything. The rain bothered her eyes and she blinked again, then flopped back down against the feather mattress. A sense of déjà vu washed over her, but she shook it off and tossed the heavy blankets off her. Downstairs was silent, which meant her parents were probably asleep still.
She tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen. On the back of one of the chairs was a quilted blanket. Sirit took it and threw it around her shoulders and opened the door to step out onto the porch. A small cat sat on the thin railing, perfectly balanced as all cats are. Sirit met the cat’s eyes and leaned against the railing next to it. “Hey, kitty,” she said, rubbing it lightly between its ears. The cat let out a tiny purr and stretched up into her hand. “Hiding out from the rain, I suppose?” The cat blinked up at Sirit and stood and walked down the rail a few steps. “Whatcha doing, kitty?”
The cat jumped off the rail and looked expectantly at Sirit. “What?” Lightning flashed and Sirit closed her eyes against it. When she opened her eyes, the cat was back on the railing. “Cat, what are you doing?”
The cat blinked, otherwise unmoving. Sirit narrowed her eyes and huffed at it. It stood and walked pointedly past her, to the stairs at the very end of the porch. Every now and then, it looked back to see Sirit following. “I’m following you, alright? You don’t need to make sure I’m there!” Its ears twitched and it jumped off the railing. It jumped the stairs and headed straight for the trees lining the small house. Sirit grumbled and dropped the blanket on the wicker porch chair.
The cat stopped at the edge of the trees and waited for Sirit to catch up. Sirit shivered and mumbled under her breath, arms crossed tight across her chest. “Stupid cat,” she said, glaring down at it. “What do you want from me?”
The cat meowed and headed into the trees. Sirit followed, and winced as she stepped in a mud puddle. “This is disgusting!” The cat made no comment and led Sirit through the tall trees, until they met up with a river. It almost looked familiar, but Sirit shook it off and stopped behind the cat. “Well?”

The cat yawned and meowed, but moved on. The rain began to lighten with the sky as dawn approached. Sirit doubted her parents would be up anytime soon, but all the same, she wanted to be back before dawn. “Can we hurry this up a bit, cat?”

The cat glanced over its shoulder and gave her the equivalent of a sigh, but broke into a trot. It headed up the river a bit further, then broke off back into the trees. Sirit glared at it and raced after it. The cat, in turn, ran faster, leaping over rocks and tree roots with more accuracy than Sirit could ever hope to have. Because of this, Sirit stumbled and ran into things, but she never once lost sight of the cat.

Finally, when the cat stopped, Sirit took the chance to breath and get her heaving lungs to calm some. For all that it was cold and wet, she was hot and sweaty. “What was the point of that?” She asked, staring down the cat. “There’s nothing here!”

It was just a little clearing with a waterfall at one end that fell into a pool, and-

Sirit stared at the dark hole. She’d blocked up most of the memories of her childhood, but the tunnel…that, she’d never forget.

The cat’s loud meow broke through the shock. Sirit snapped to look at it- it was pawing at something. She jogged over to it, and pushed it gently aside. The cat meowed loudly, and pawed again at the thing. It was half buried in the mud, but Sirit thought that had it not rained, it would have been completely covered. She scraped at the mud and finally got it free.

“My god, it’s Mama’s amulet!” Sirit exclaimed, turning the amulet over in her hands. It was unmistakable- it was the very amulet that Mama gave her just before the invaders killed her. “Cat, what-”

The cat bumped her leg with its head then bolted into the tunnel. Sirit almost followed it, but stopped herself. “Cat, I can’t follow you anymore! I have to go back home!”

An echoing meow was its response. Sirit refused to let herself even think of following it- the invaders who had killed her family had taken over the castle and she’d be taken prisoner or made a slave or something if she went back, and nobody would be able to help her because you just don’t help the captured ex-princess of a country headed by barbarians and murderers when they’ve probably been searching for her head for years since they took over.

Sirit gave a harsh snort and looped the muddy amulet around her neck. Her white nightdress was soaked through anyways, a little bit of mud wouldn’t hurt it.

As she walked, the rain slammed down, full-force. It was absolutely freezing, but thankfully Valley autumns were quiet and wet so it wouldn’t get much worse than this. She pouted up at the sky and hurried, hitting the river. As long as she followed the river, she should find her way back to the house.

Cat: Yeah, it's a human-intelligence cat. Not sure why just yet, but somebody sent her to keep track of Sirit.

I've always disliked times and dates before chapters, but should I do that? Seven years later, Seven years back, what have you?

There's no way the mother can escape, and knowledge of what's going on beforehand messes with how much Sirit should know about the take-over.