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Arts of the Midnight

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Where time is not a boundary for dreams. 

Tags: arts, painting, music, movies, randomness 

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ShagMasterFlash

Liberal Dabbler

PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 7:46 am


i Would like some criticism on this poem if anyone feels like helping me out.

Are you hearing the whispers?Are you hearing the cries?
Justifying their reasons
for your unsightly demise.

No one will help you
No one will care
because to everyone else
those voices aren't there.

They say to be happy
They say to be sad
But its hard to do either
When they're driving you mad.

You can beg them for mercy
You can beg them for peace
But they've already won
Once you've begged them to cease.
PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 8:31 am


Hmm.
Sounds okay, but I don't really like it.
It's always with somthing depressing or romantic. Why is poetry like that? I'm no poet, but I certainly know that people don't want to drown themselves in sorrow and self-pity. Try to write somthing a little happier or brighter. I find depressing poetry to be boring and typical. How about somthing about Heaven? Or the good things about life? Or better, somthing funny?  

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hellhound9
Crew

PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 11:02 am


Very nicely done, I can pick up on the beat real easy. The first part felt a little stressed, but that's just my opinion, so good job!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:00 am


Any better?

ShagMasterFlash

Liberal Dabbler

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