Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ok, so before I begin, I want to say that I'm probably more here for support and/or questions than anything else. I'm kinda going through a rough time and the support side is kinda sticking out more right now.

At first I really couldn't think of anything to write, I mostly wanted to talk to someone cause I'm kinda down, and talking to people always helps; I'm very social.

Then I thought of something I wanted to write about, so you can keep it centered around that if you want, but even if it's only partially related, just talking is nice ^^

Well here it is. I kinda have two problems in one. Well, one is more of a question than a problem. The first thing is that I've been openly different for, like a month (I say it like that cause I haven't really come out of the closet i guess, but I"m not going to deny it if someone asks about it.). Maybe that's not the right terming, I don't know. But I'm pretty sure I'm Bi (I'm not very good with terming so drag on with me here please ^^; )but I'm not quite sure. See, I'm attracted to both genders, but in different ways. I have a more sexual driven attraction to females and a more emotional attraction toward males. The thing I get confused about the most though, is that either way, I don't usually have a "gender attraction". In fact, I'm hardly ever turned on, or even attracted to anyone. I always see people purely on the mental side and emotional side, and have never really thought about any physical traits at all, including gender. To me, relying to heavily on physical appearance is a ridiculous thing to do, because it can be easily changed. I'm not really sure what I would call myself. I don't really want to call myself anything, because I think that's just labeling and classifying which doesn't need to be done, but I sorta need something to tell people, because it becomes very tiring and confusing trying to explain this to people.

The more of a problem thing for me is related to my friends. I've nnever fully understood them because of how they are (which I don't think I should take the time to explain) but I feel that they give of this very homophobic feeling when I'm around them. Normally I would say that it probably is. The thing though, is that I have another friend in this same group who is Bi, and they treat him like normal. Now I kinda act and look more on the gay side (that's just the way I am) and I was thinking that might cause some of the tension. Ever since I kinda came out to them, they rarely speak to me, completely ignore me online, never call, and always avoid eye contact. I guess this is kinda stressing me out and I just need some thoughts on this. I can go into more detail if you want but I just realized I'm kinda ranting on and I am very sorry if I have wasted any of your time.

By the way, as added info, I'm going out with my friend who is Bi (the one I mentioned earlier). I don't know if that would affect this any, but maybe it would, I'm not very socially adept you could say.

Actually my closest friend doesn't care (but he's not really like the others), but I'll try. Though they might not tell me or lie. They never really tell me anything.

But Thankies ^_^ A few people have said that so I think I probably would be then.