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 Posted: Mon May 18, 2009 1:20 am
The Coyote
Once and forever,
a full moon glow,
Glistening teeth,
dripping claws,
bright golden eyes,
A glimmering dream
whose name whispers,
upon the leaves of
The Unseen Forest.
Tainted is he,
The Forest Protector.
All who enter
must never leave,
For the Eye calls him
to battle,
for glory,
to ritual,
for blood,
to desecration
for Middle Earth.
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Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:38 am
I like it. You've got some great imagery going here, and I'm definitely always a fan of imagery. smile
I guess this is poetry and it could be a stylistic pun that I'm missing, XD...but in line 7 "who's" should be "whose".
And did you mean to put 2 r's in forest?
Also, I don't really think it's necessary to have a comma at the end of every line. In some places it makes too hard of a stop and messes with the flow of the poem.
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Posted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:23 am
I appreciate your critique! biggrin I love describing things, especially nature. (though this is based in fantasy)
I messed up on the "who's and whose"... I seem to do that quite a bit. And the "forrest vs forest" is an accident as well, you see, my grandfathers name was Forrest, with two r's. I had always thought i was spelling it correctly, and habits are hard to break. I fixed it, I believe.
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 2:20 pm
You had some awesome at desrcibing some in some of the lines but the flow in parts wasn't very good. For the most part though it was a great poem.(o:
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