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 Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 9:03 am
://___JOURNAL
"Time Passes..."
I figure writing thgins down might be best, to do a quick summary of things. Confusion abounded, and apaprently when Johnathan and I had our one-night stand before he left entirely - however one wants to take that with his situation - apparently our fun that night led to me becoming pregnant.
Me. Yeah, I know. WTF indeed.
Apaprently I knew even in my torpor as I was transitioning to 'something greater' - not that I feel that way! - well, I knew I culdn't carry the child normally. It's not in my genetics to do so, well, especially not a child from a union such as Johnathan. He's not Kha'rendri and Kha'rendri blood doesn't mix well.
So somehow preservation instinct kicked in and I looked for a means to prevent losing my child. Lo and behind, Farland saved the day.
So even now after my more then unique issues, I'm pregnant. With a child from myself and Johnathan. Who has the genetic bonding of a snake as well. Hoo boy... I think I'm glad Dad's in a coma after all. He'd probabyl kick my a**.
But I'm happy, so I guess it doesn't matter. Well, happy in a sense regarding a child - Johnathan and I had discussed it once...
But...
Well, there are other things that bother me.
I really need to get this house in order again, and get a ground-floor room for my child ready.
My child.
I really should start thinking of names, shouldn't I? I wonder what gender it is?
...I am so unprepared.
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Posted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:48 am
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"From the Lips of the One Who Fell..."
Location: Mintaka's Residence
((Cross-post from Khiviance's Journal - Mintaka = steelblue, Johnathan black))
"Here we are," she said quietly, standing before the door. It was an uncertain prospect to say the least on how things would go. It would be a bit fo a toll to pay to do this, but... if it gave some measure fo eapce to ehr and him both - well, all three of them - then all the better. Aside, she wanted to remain on the mortal's good side still. She knocked, straightening up slightly.
Mintaka opened the door, slightly surprised at what she found. She spied Requuient taking off to go sit on the roof and likely wait. All the beter maybe. "Well, hello Khiviance, what brings you here?"
"Him, mostly," she said, tapping her head at the temple. "Though it never hurts to see how you're doing. Mind if I come in? If he's going to talk, it'd be better if I were resting."
She hesitated only a moment before opening the door wide and gesturing. She shot a quick glare at Moriphae, who took notice and left to other corners of the house. She watched the others shift slightl, but no others moved. Samsara and Equinox were absent, and Kashmir was hiding in his plushies again. No one else was bothered, aside maybe Tiresias who kept it hidden as he laid his head back down and went to sleep again.
"Have a seat," she said, sititng down carefully as well.
"Thank you," she said, sititng down. She hadn't missed the leaving, and felt a slight twinge. She knew it wasn't entirely her own doing and ignored it mostly. "You've been well?" May as well open with the small talk before getting down to the serious. She poked around a bit before finally succeeding in finding Johnathan lurking about in her mind. Your turn is coming up.
"Well, enough, all things considered," she said. "I mean, being pregnant isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world and all." She laughed then, shifitng slightly in her seat. "Having split and having an Otherself is a bit... difficult to wrap my mind around in a way. I never imagined life being so difficult, but then I shouldn't have existed as I did so I shouldn't be surprised at the 'issues' I encounter."
"Yours is unique," she admitted, and it was true. "But you handle it well."
I... think I'm ready. Nervousness crept into his tone, as though uncertain just how ready he was.
"Somehow," she said, shaking her head slightly. "I'm just concerned since the attack on my Otherself though... I'd appreciate it if you could try to watch out for her. At least in those regards of undesired visitors."
She nodded slightly, although uncertain just how much she wanted to 'babysit' someone, but it might be best to do so, if only to find out what was going to happen. "I think he's ready," she said, relaxing a bit into the chair to be certain they wouldn't fall out. "So I'll let him do his thing." She closed her eyes, exhaling slowly.
The eyes fluttered open, but there was a different look, if not more tired, and also more pleased in those eyes. "Hello Min," he said, finding a little weird to be in control again. It took some effort, so he made sure not to do too much, lest he lose time.
Min couldn't help the slight flush of color she likely knew was touching her cheeks, having heard his voice again. She couldn't figure exactly why she felt so ... shy? Maybe not shy, but there was a certain emotion there, but a pleasing one all the same. "Good to hear you again," she said, smiling. She was trying very hard not to cry, and hid it well for the moment. "Been well?"
"Of course, of course." Not fully true, but no sense in worrying her. What went down between Khiv and himself didn't matter much, and drgging the mood down wasn't good. Aside, Khiv might get upset. "What about you? And... our child?" Somehow speaking that was more difficult then he thought. The concept of having a child still astounded him, something which was more like a dream then anything. He laughed inside about that thought, considering his current location.
"I'm doing well since the split, amazingly so all things considered." She shifted slightly, to sit up a bit, and contemplated how bes tto address the second query. "The child is well as of last check - not sure on the gender still, but I think a surprise might be better. I've yet to decide on a name at all..."
That was good. No difficulties so far, but unknown gender still. "Hm... naming can be difficult. Waiting for her to be born, or going to pick some choices beforehand?"
"Was thinking foa few choices beforehand... and since I can ask you... did you want them to take your last name or not?" Her grey eyes were focused on him, thugh hiding emotion well. It was hard to read how diffucult this was for her, and how much such a question bothered her. She ahd to ask though, as was only fair. Had she been the sole determination here, she likely would have blessed their child. After all, they would have likely married too under other circumstances.
He inhaled somewhat sharply, caught off-gaurd by the question.
Surprised?
A little, he replied. He let his expression remain neutral, thinking about this question. "I would not mind, if you were so inclined... if you wish to take it, as well, you can." Words carefully picked to make sure it seemed as though he didn't want her to do either, nor discourage. He simply gave her the right to choose. "Have any names picked at all?"
She smiled slightly, nodding to the first part. "Alright, I'll keep it in mind." Not something she wanted to address now - at least regarding her. It would not be easy to decide, all things considered. "As for names, if it was a boy I was considering Johnathan perhaps, or Lucien. Girls... Alnitak or Celestiel perhaps." She had been spending some time agonizing over potential chocies for both genders and was at a loss for which was right. She had many othr lesser potential names, and some undecided fi she wanted to use them or not.
Name a son after him. It was hard to keep the emotion in check, touched by the notion as he was. "Maybe.... Johnathan Lucien for a boy, and Celestiel Alnitak for a girl?" It was a decent compromise perhaps, to use two names. At least for a boy. "I must admit, I've never been good with girl's naes at all, Min, so I can't help much, but I do like the name Celestiel a lot. Celestia too."
She smiled, nodding. "Alright, that works then. Johnthan Lucien for a boy, and Celestiel Alnitak for a girl. Maybe Celestiel Alnilam. I'll figure that middle name out eventually." She laughed then, shaking her head. "I'm not terribly great with girl's names either. I could use my mother's name... hm."
"Your choice there," he replied. Johnathan Lucien.... a part of him actually hoped more for a girl, if only because he'd always wanted a daughter more then a son. Not so much a daddy's girl though; but a plesant young lady with maybe some tomboyish nature in her. Shame he wouldn't be around to see her grow up really. He knew though Mintaka would be sure their child knew all about him. "That's all good then. Hopefully maybe I'll be around when they're born."
I unfortunately can't decide it for you entirely.
I know.
She felt a p***k as a tear manifested itself finally, and reached up idly to rub her head slightly and catch it before it got free. "Hopefully," she said, her voice faltering slightly. "I can't make things go faster of course. It's been awhile, but I'm nto entirely sure of my own body's needs for carrying a child and all, not being normal."
"More normal then some I knew," he said, trying to avoid furthering the pain they both felt at the lack of his presence. It wasn't easy, but he knew there wasn't anything anyone - heaven, earth or otherwise - could do about it. But at least he knew he'd had some part in their child's life, in helping name it. "You'll let them know I helped name them, right?"
"Of course. They should know about their father, and that he wasn't just a nothing in their life. I'll be sure they understand everything." She shifted slightly, a slight yawn escaping her lips.
"Tired?" he said, gladly taking the chance to change topics. He noted as well he was feeling the strain of remaining, and fighting emotional instincts. He ahd enough though, for one last thing. He stood, carefully, almost awkwardly havign not done so in some time. "You should rest. It was late for you to be coming, but... I needed to."
She stood, shaking away the exhaustion creeping in the edges of her consciousness and stepped over to take ne hand. Pink mottled skin or no, it was still him in that shell right now. She couldn't help the emotional surge then,a nd let go instead to just hug him tightly. "I'm going to miss you so badly... I do every day."
He wrapped arms about her, burying the sigh he felt trying to escape, and nodded. "I miss you too, Min. I always will. But be strong, and be sure not to mourn me once I am gone. Don't cling to what we had desperately and let yourself get lost. I always wanted you to be happy so don't deny yourself that. And I'm sorry... sorry for the pain I've caused to yuo."
She couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped her lips as she looked him in the eyes then. "I'll be fine. Sandrien won't let me mope, and neither will the dreams. I'll be fine, really." She stood there for what felt like an eternity but was only mere moements in the scheme of things before kissing him.
He was caught off guard, to say the least, and tensed only a moment before relaxing. He returned it, for whatever energy expense it cost him. At least if he was going to fall, he may as well make sure his last moments were good, and hopefully he'd always remember them in some form.
Good, thought I was going to have to do something for you. It was not spiteful, or anythign negative, but more an admonition of that he should ksis her, all things considered. She would not deny the expression of love. It was what made her be.
The kiss finally ended and she stepped back, looking down slightly as she felt crimson spill across her face. It had been a spontaneous decision and she hoped ervently Khiviance hadn't taken control during it but was pretty sure she hadn't. "I-"
"No, it's fine," he said, feeling a slight shiver overcome him. He would be sure that he at least was the one to walk out that door. "Thank you. I- I shold be going, it's getting later." He turned, carefully making his way to the door. "I love you," he said quietly as his hand fell on the doorknob. "Get some sleep."
It was hard not to follow but she knew it'd only make the pain worse. "I will, for us." She rested a hand on her stomach, and smiled. "And you take care - and Khiv too."
"We will." He opened the door, and stepped out, closing it behind. Exhaling sharply, he felt his body tremble from the wash of emotions finally letting go. "I'm done, Khiv... I don't think I can hold up anymore." he felt drained of everything - any means possible he felt drained, but he felt better in so many ways even for the price.
She took control carefully, as to not spill them on the gorund, and let him slip way into silence and rest. She started the trek back to leave, offering an arm for her nightmare to land on and rest upon. Silence was perhap best for them both now, as she made her way back home.
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 10:13 pm
://___JOURNAL
"Can't Wash It All Away..."
So much and so little both have come to pass - Samsara and Equinox nested once more, producing a beautiful clutch, to say the least. Khana'liel has... unforutnately... been a touch under the weather.
And I...
Health-physically is fine. Mentally... another story.
Ever since I heard his voice, it's been a bit hard to sleep, even awake my mind strays again. I know, somehow even if Khiviance was behind our night together even slightly, it was him... and I let into it too. Of my own will. And ehre I am now, with the 'consequence' ... am I upset or hurt? Hell no, but... I'm alone. I had wanted, always, that it had been us. Even when, before he left, he was fine with us having a kid...
Yes, even though we were parting ways somewhat, there was hope we would right the wrongs and be together. And likely, a child would have... and did, somewhat, but he is going, fading, dying - dying in a sense that he will be no more in any existence, to rebirth Khiviance.
Some would say I should be angry at her, but I cannot. I will not. Honestly, I couldn't be happier carrying his child... but I have to go at this alone... alone in the sense of no husband, no one to share raising her with. I do have friends and a sense of family, but... not their father.
I don't know. I cna do it, it's just... I was reminded how alone I am in some ways, and being where I am - holding a position of 'power' drives me further away in some ways.
Sandrien... he's been a little odd lately too, as though something's on his mind. I can't tell what though, and he won't talk to Samsara either. He hasn't let me go alone though much out. Which relieves and worries me both.
Ugh... cravings! I need to eat something before I perish. Eating for two... gah, I feel like a pig.
And I should be planning that holiday party. UGH. So many things...! I know I'm getting near time I think... please let it wait until after the party, or before enough...!
Moriphae's upset I missed the last party planning.
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Posted: Thu Dec 01, 2005 11:25 pm
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"A Cup of Tea and You"
Location: Mintaka's Residence
((Crosspost with Calico's Journal))
"Well, it's good you came to visit," she said, looking over a cup of herbal tea. "It's been quiet and a little lonely as of late around ehre... so much oddness going on it makes little sense."
She smiled slightly, nodding as she picked up ehr own teacup and took a sip. "So it seems. Sandrien isn't about, for one. Which may be a relief."
She laughed, grinning slightly. "I've gotten used to his skulking about... he's just... I don't know. I think Khana and him are secret-keeping from me, and it makes me nervous. Which isn't good for the child and myself likely." She sighed, resting a hand on her stomach as she took another sip. "I must be getting nearer... I feel movements."
Min arched an eyebrow slightly. "Movements... you mean kicking? How delightful! Oh, yes... that was Lu- Cheshire, if you please." She grimaced sligfhtly and leaned closer across the table. "Lunara sometimes thinks she is male, and goes by Cheshire."
She stifled a laughed, and nodded. "Yes, yes, so it seems. The voice did not fit entirely, but that's fine. I honestly have no qualms. Pleasure to meet you, Cheshire." She shook her head slightly, sipping at her tea a moment more. "I'm just so caught between everything... father's still down, I'm expecting, people are still spazzing out in Memory... ugh."
"Welll..." She tilted ehr head a moment in thought. "Well, We cannot think much for your father, however people need to just relax even under change. We do not panic, do We? And for expecting, well... We know little personally about it, so We cannot advise. Perhaps time away. Mostly sound advice except I don't think she can escape away easily. And some poeple would freak if she up and went off."
"Mmhmm... else... yeah. I don't know, people are spontaneously experiencing changes and shifts, so many it's being heralded as some omen or something... but the realm was under rule of one erpson so long, perhaps it simply is adapting to me..." She bit her lower lip. "I need him awake... I need him to resume his place. I can't do everything. I'm going to be a mother, raising a child alone."
"You have us," she said, sipping tea and brushing black hair from her eyes. A slight smile touched the lips, and then she spoke. "And Us, as well, as time passes." She tightened her grip on the cup a moment as she felt it begin to slip. Still not quite perfect there, in their transitioning. "Well, yes. If you want to talk, you can talk to us."
She nodded, reaching out a moemtn to caress the eggs sitting in a small bowl on the coffee table. "Yes, I will keep it in mind. It's just... the changes still unsettle me, and us... well, I'm just trying to adapt and not doing well I suppose."
"We all are," she said, shruggung slightly. "I'm facing the fact I will slowly lose myself, but I'm fine with it... oh, and I saw and talked to Johnathan."
She looked up from her tea suddenly, eyes sharp and ears perked forward. "Oh?" She tried not to let her emotions get rampant, but could tell her change in mood had attracted a few eyes already.
"Yes... he was in control, getting back from a drunken spree by Khiv... oh Love, thy name is Folly." She downed the last of the tea, sitting back. "Was interesting, even if there is not much oen can say about it. Nothing major to say. Just chit-chat and opinions."
"That reminds me," she said, shifitng the topic rather then become nosy about details. "What's this ... large expense? You or Khiv - looks like yours..."
She laughed then, hearing the otehr voices in her head. "Oh, yes... that ahs to do remotely with Khiv too. We needed materials to make the Shop livable again... blown out windows and a hole in the roof courtesy of Universe. It was a mess - needed to keep the weather out. Sorry."
"Ahhh... okay. Just making sure we know what was going on with that." She leaned back carefully, sighing a bit. "Other then liekly utter chaos, everything well?"
"Mostly, yes. Getting back to normal now, not much excitement again so far." She shrugged slightly. "Calico and I get along well, with almost no issue." She held her tongue mentioning the 'apparition' she had been seeing ... bringing him up was enough but seeing things... well, not something wise to do. "We should likely be going. She is right, I would like to get back, I'll probably stop by every few days or every other day." She rose, nodding. "Don't rise, I can let myself out, I'd rather you rest."
"Send my regards," she said with a slight smile.
"I will."
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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:45 am
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"Give Me Peace of Mind..."
Location: Mintaka's Residence
((Crosspost with Calico's Journal))
"So, I decided to stop by again," she said, plpping down across from 'Ki' and holding out a small box. "Got you something, too. We picked it out with her. We hope you like it."
She scooted forward, taking the box, and opened it carefully. Another box was inside, so she fished it out, wondering idly if this wasn't a prank ... after all, she'd be very prone to doing it too. She had, actually, to Johnathan at least once, if not twice. A faint smile crossed her lips at the morory, finding ANOTHER box inside... except this one was ... a jewelry box? Well, a box which rngs or necklaces might come in. Velvety fuzzy in a shade of almost pure black, with no other markings to give away the contents or source.
She scooted closer, too, intently watching. The extra boxes had just happened, but that was fine. She had reached what mattered, and waited for the reaction, hoping the best.
Carefully with clawed hands she opened the box, and gasped slightly as she saw the pendant inside on the silver chain. It was platinum, lightly, from it's lighter tone, shaped like a phownix roughly, with assorted gems making up it's feathers. There was no mistaking the shape of the rising Phoenix no matter it's coloration, and she stared for awhile, smiling. She looked up as she was taking it out carefully. "Thank you... it's very pretty."
"We knew you liked Phoenixes, and also that you like color. It's a little bit of symbolism - the shape for you, and the colors kind of meant to mirror all your Dreams and other things here." She beamed with happiness that her gift was well-recieved, and had a celebratory moment with Calico in her head.
She unhooked it, slighing the chain around ehr neck before securing it once more. "It's absolutely dazzling, I love it. I'll always keep it with me - unless I know I'll be somewhere where it could risk damage." She looked down at her stomach and smirked slightly. "Not that it'll happen soon."
"Well, either way, I'm happy," she said, smiling. "Real gemstones, nothing but the best."
Before either of them could do more, the two eggs resting upon the dish at the center of the table began to wiggle, roll and otherwise make a fuss.
Samsara stirred, and glided down, making some noises of joy and contentment. "Hatch, hatch!" she said, dancing a bit and lookign up across the plate where it was level with her head. She was making sure, too, they did not fall off.
"Oh!" she managed, pointing at the longer, ovalish one. "That daydream is meant for you!"
"Really?" Mintaka said, looking at it. "We are honored to have a gift such as that!" She reached out, taking up the egg careful under Samsara's watchfun gaze. Suddenly the shell gave way ner one end and a small serpentine head of rich warm brown, maned in a shade like chocolate poked out, its eyes watching Calico intently.
The other egg rolled about awhile, seemingly to be having an absolute fit.
Calico looked up a moment, feeling the small daydream writing free when she heard a pop! Mintaka lowered her eyes to see that the egg had split violently in half, spilling it's contents - in two directions?!
Her hand shot out, catching something small, and pale golden, with golden brown markings and wings and legs and a gold eye which seemed to take awhile to focus on her. "Ohhh..."
Calico reached out, catching the other half in her other hand, away from the daydream and stared at the little dark thing she ahd caught, with black marks and wings, and dirty dark red body and black eye which seemed to glare a moment before relaxing, peeping a few times as it gained it's bearings. "Whoa... hey...!" She looked up, seeing the other one in Mintaka's hand.
Sasmara started making a racket of noises, getting the attention of the whole house as she fussed. "Two from one egg?! Two?!"
Equinox winged in, having abandoned his sunny perch in concern and dived down. "What what, what of two? Eggs?"
"You... had twins..." she said, looking between Calico and back to he ltitle light-colored one in her hands. "Samsara had twins in that egg!!" She started laughing a moment before scooping up Equinox and Samsara both in a hug while being mindful of the youngling in her hands. "Oh, I'm so happy for you two!!"
"Sara... have twins? Twins is two in one?"
"Twins are ... like Host and Ki, in a way. Alike, from the same. Wow... twins, really? So it's okay I have this one?" She looked down into her hands at the two, who seemed intent on investigating one another.
"Sure... I don't mind. We each get a twin... they'll see one another frequently. I think this little guy.... Release?" She peered at him, as th eparents also made sure their little dreamlet was fine.
Samsara peered at the other, before wiggling free for a closer look. "Min Dreamer... this one nightlet, that one dreamlet. Twins can be different like that?"
Mintaka pondered. "We will read up or ask Prox later. I'm sure it's possible though. Twins are rare though, so you two are certainly something."
"Thank you, Ki," she said, bringing them up a bit too look. "Calico, you name them, since they'll be with you. You know my thoughts anyway, so you can judge from there." She watched the daydream craw a bit, pondering. "Hmm... perhaps Prayer for you, for you are a blessing and a boon, something special to be treasured... and my little dark one here... Catatonia, since you seem intent in sitting here, simply staring at me."
"Lovely, lovely," Samsara said, puffing up. "Sara think will be good Dreamer for hatched ones."
She yawned a moment, rising and letting Equinox go to glide down to Samsara for some snuggles. "I... should get some rest. I slept badly last night."
"It's okay, I know I dropped in late an unexpected, seems there was good reason!" She carefully set the two together in one hand. "Thank you, so very much for everything. We will take care of them." She ehaded out then, humming to herself quietly, and to her two new companions.
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:02 am
://___Journal
"That You Wanted to See Fly"
It's been interesting to say the least... my otherself visits frequently, and Samsara's clutch has hatched. I feel movements within me, a good sign indeed as I had some concerns about the child, but movement alleivates. Also, having had some practicion as a doctor myself, I do know when something is right or wrong... when needed.
I hate my 'selective' memory capability. I feel like I need to know thigns and don't until the last minute... I fear that may fail me.
Honestly, aside what the injection may doto the child, I pray she becomes more nromal then I have ever been... and I hope to shelter her from the troubles I face. So help me, if Shivran should dare touch her...
A mother's rage knows no bounds, and I am a creature tired to rage it seems. In my investigation, thats eems to be an underlying current of all emotions, along with the hopeand love... how odd.
I should visit the clinic perhaps... I believe someone I know is there, who's actualy bore their child. I'd like to talk to her again... among all I do.
And it seems... I will have another in my care. It will be good practice in caring - although I've had plenty with Ai, she is different. Oh, how things be. Once long ago I swore I woud never have children, and here I am, surrounded by them almost!
Including carrying my own.
I wish Father were well... I would like him to know... if he were well, he'd likely be pleased...
Another day, another blot of ink.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 11:21 pm
://___JOURNAL
"Solitude, I Can't Stay Away From You..."
I don't know why, but lately my mind lingers on him. It's not just because she mentioned him... it's not because of the scarf hanging on my hat rack in my room - well, new room, upstairs. I re-arranged the home...
I have another charge in my care - Aurora. She's ... an interesting story. Maybe I'll write it down in this book. But she... and, well...
It's a mess. I'll explain it some time what happened. I almost... was tempted to move to Memoria. I don't know why. Maybe I should, although... I just couldn't. It's not any sort of home, unlike Dream to me.
I just don't know anything anymore. I really don't. I'm uncertain about so much again, and this solitude and lonliness are killing me. Even with Calico & Min's visits... there's just soemthing missing.
And Khana and Sandrien seem to be avoiding me...
It hurts, you know. And Ch'dri's tending Father... because he seems... to be changing or something.
I don't know anymore... I miss him so much. I just feel so alone.
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Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2005 11:45 pm
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO"Stangest of Mazes..." Location: Mintaka's Residence She was flipping idly through a catalogue, trying to find some suitable pieces of clothing to get for the baby when it was born, when Ch'dri entered the front door, almost panicked. Mintaka rose, as quickly as she could. "Ch'dri, what is-" "Khariel, he's he's gone!" she said, trying to catch her breath. "I found this-" she cut off, holding out the note. She looked paled, from what ti was uncertain. Mintaka reache over, taking as she looked at Ch'dri carefully. "Rest, I've got it, and calm. You're going to hyperventilate." She turned ehr eyes down then, reading the words scrawled on the paper. Khariel's Note Dear Kai, Do not blame yourself for what is coming, is happening and happened. This is necessary, why thigns came as they did... accept what you are now, where you are... I cannot take it back.... I am ... not the same. Not enough so, to be what I was. I am drawn thing, weakened, losing a battle. I have few options, so I search. Know, however, you have what is needed. And know that no matter what, I still love you. Khariel She stood, silent and stunned at the note for long minutes, hardly aware of any other noise in the house, of the staring that was occuring. Finally she spoke, her voice a whisper of it's normal self. "How was he before this..." Ch'dri licked her lisp a moment, looking up at Mintaka as she rested. "He was staring to pale out somewhat in spots, on the scales. He was stable though, and perhaps improving... and then this." She sighed. "I'm sorry I don't know how-" "No, it's fine... it's fine... I'm just... hurt maybe... upset... I don't understand. I may, one day.... but...." She put a hand on her stomach. Mother to be and a leader of a realm. How joyful indeed. "I need time to think. And I ... need torest. Carrying a child is tiring, to say the least...
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 8:07 am
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"One Love Feeds the Fire..." [Part 1]
Location: Mintaka's Residence
She was sitting in the front room, head bowed slightly with ehr hands in her lap, folded carefully, when she ehad someone walking in. Her ears only moved slightly, her thoughts still on her missing father. Khariel gone, who knwos where, her child's father disappearing... what was next?
"Min-" It was the sound fo Khana'liel, half-strangled and ehr head snapped up, to see him stumble, landing on his hands and knees as even then he began to change forms, wings breaking free in shades of greens and blues, a tail as well equally featherd, antlers, ears which were feathered...
She rose quickly, kneeling next to him in a panic as the changes seemed to ubdue. "Khana! Khana' are you alright?!" What's going on? Anotehr change... is this why he's been avoidant or-
"Pain... lots.... of pain..." He grit his teeth, wings limp as one hand clenched at the carpet. "KNew... I shouldn't have..." With that, he passed out, barely caught by Mintaka.
She bit her lip, before calling out. "Mishendra!!"
To Be Continued....
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 3:53 pm
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"One Love Feeds the Fire..." [Part 2]
Location: Mintaka's Residence
He hadn't stirred since collapsing, and the inability to contact Ch'dri only heightened her worries. And she knew worrying would only make things worse, and under her condition, wasn't entirely advisable.
She sat there, worried, and upset. She ahd noticed he was feverish and haddone her best to keep him cooled with a cloth, using Samsara's ice powers to aid her and make cooling the water she kept by cold. Still... he hadn't stirred.
"Khana..." Somethig he did, or said.... and then this. It didn't sit well with her at all. Everythign around her changed, all because of her. For better or worse, and this... she wasn't sure. He kept so much away...
So did she though, and after the lat pains of love, she kept that hidden even more - especially since her former love was still about, and didn't want to hurt him. She was caught in a net between the past and now, and she hated to admit she ahd some feelings for the man laying here on the bed next to her. She couldn't even begin to know if they were returned, either.
And what hurt more then anything, was if she would never know.
"Khana..."
She bit her lip, fighting back tears. She didn't know what to do at this point - about him, or about her feelings. "I care," she said to the silence, "but I am afraid."
To Be Continued
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 11:59 pm
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"One Love Feeds the Fire..." [Part 3]
Location: Mintaka's Residence
She was dozing very lightly when she ehard it - a soft groan and the sound of movement. She snapped awake in an instant, startling Samsara and Moriphae both as she leaned voer to the boed, resting a hand on his chest as he tried to rise. "Rest still... you've... changed."
He sighed a bit, feelign the wings beneath him first, then the changes otherwise one by one as the dull pain seeped through. "So I see..." His breath hissed out then, as he moved one stiff leg. "I don't ... understand why it happened. I only said something to Sandrien and then-"
"Sandrien?" Min's ears perked. "Where is he?"
"I... don't know. He... vanished. Into the dark. Same time something hit me, it took him." He shifted, moving his wings a little and grimacing at the pain. He was unused to them again.
Mintaka bit her lip, concerned now. That was how many now changing? She had lost track of the notable names reported, and now those closest to her. It was confusing and painful to her, to not understand exactly why it was happening or why only certain people. And why those she loved had to suffer too. Sje spoke then, softly. "What did you say?"
He laughed quietly, looking at her. "You would likely try to throttle me if I told you..."
"It's about me, isn't it?" she asked, her tone neutral, despite the edging sadness. If it was, truthfully what she thought, she'd defintiely be caught in a position.
"...yes." He looked away a moment, then back. "Sandrien thought I was nuts. And then it hit, so I don't know what he was going to say." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't bring it up now, with you... as you are, and everything. Just... nevermind."
"I can't>" She looked out the window as she felt his eyes on her, then sighed. "I can't ignore feelings - yours or my own.... but I don't know what to do yet, Khana. I can't do anything. Not yet."
He nodded slightly, careful of his pains. "I know... I don't expect anything now."
"Thank you..."
~Fin~
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 8:23 pm
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"You Say She's Doing Fine"
Location: Mintaka's Residence
The roof of the ex-fort - turned home now - was a nice space to get away and relax somewhat, where few went unless they wanted to be alone. Not that she wanted to hide form everyone, but the last few days had taken some stressful toll on her.
She needed to talk to him... to be sure it was fine. She could wait, until he was nothing, but... still, it would be crossing back on that. Their future child finding out something like that... she couldn't face it either.
She didn't want to alienate anyone more. So many people seemed to eb vanishing from her life it was getting... to a point that she wondered if it wasn't something about her that caused it. Or if it was just her fate, perhaps.
Even no logner being the 'doppleganger' she stoll seemed to lead a temporary life that was always changing, never the same. She wanted permanency, constancy ...
Maybe having a child might grant some of that. Still, she ahd to resolve her emotional dilemma before she could even hope to have what she wanted, and still even now there was the threat of someone always there, out to harm her and her friends and family. She needed to be free of that, as well... but had no idea how.
One thing at a time, Min. Worry about your emotions and the child you carry, then about Shivran and the other problems...
She looked out ove the plans, then turned, to gaze at the forest a moment. "What secrets you hold I'd desire to know, perchance," she mumbled quietly, before heading down for some tea.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2006 9:12 pm
://___ROLEPLAY - SOLO
"Cannot Cease for Fear of Silent Night..."
Location: Mintaka's Residence
Mintaka paced awhile, unsettled. She hadn't been able to contact Khiviance, which made this all the more difficult. SHe was being avoidant now, trying to sort thigns out, lest she give into some temptation - not that she could...
She plopped down on the bed, sighing softly as she patted her belly. "Oh, for the love of the heavens and all the hells... why do I get into this?"
Maybe moving to the house in Barton - well, mansion was more approrpiate, gifted in a will by a friend who passed away - well, was murdered...
She ahd a good mind to know who did it, too, if her suspicions were right, but the police hadn't solved the case. Supposedly nothing much for leads. As if - just someone who knew how to foool convertion.
It was... as it seemed... that death surrounded her. How ironic, then, she was bringing life to the world. Least... in some form... there was sanity. And then of course, she had to consider there was Aurora now, and Ace - ah... the chaos and confusion which was running rampant in the house.
Maybe the change of scene would do better for everyone. She loved Dream - it was a place away from the world and calm... but somehow, something just tinged the air. Maybe it was anticipation, maybe it was worry.
Aside... she needed to be closer to things. Hmm.... She'd give it some thought, and keep trying to contact Khiv. Unless... he was gone.... No, not yet. Couldn't be. She bit her lip, admonishing herself for such thoughts. It wasn't that far gone yet.
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Posted: Wed Jul 19, 2006 11:37 pm
://___JOURNAL
"The Time Has Come..."
I'll be frank about this, I'm not going into all the gritty details of the birth itself. I'd honestly not want anyone to dwell upon the actual process, however I can discuss how thigns went around it!
I'd been minding my own, at home, when it all decided to hit. Now, mind, I don't LIVE in the everyday world, I reside in Dream. So rushing to a hospital doesn't exactly happen.
Thankfully I have Sandrien for moral support... if we can call it that... Oh, yes - he did return. In one piece. Although he won't tell me anything about it. He's still his usual self. Khana'liel was there, for the lovely role fo the man giving comfort... and Ch'dri was here at the time thankfully, and helped with the actual process.
....10 hours later, I was the proud parent of a baby boy. Yay. Takes an awful lot after me it seems - which may be for the better. Lower half is snake-like - so least the kid won't have to worry about having hooves like I do. Or pants, actually.
...what the hell am I going to do about diapers? Well, for the short term, we just deal with changing the bedding. Ugh... really need to look ito this sort fo thing. Wish I knew a Lamia or something. Tsch. They'd know what to do!
...probably go natural and deal with it. Bah.
He's a bouncing bundle fo joy at least, and quite cheerful overall. I'm feeling better too, for the record. And damn it's wonderful not to be fat! .... not nice to say in a way, but... my back wasn't feeling very great towards the end, I was getting worried.
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