I take you back to a time before Europeans came to the Americas, to a beach bordering a tropical rainforest. The climate is hot and humid and I can feel the moisture bearing down on me. The sand is hot beneath my body and I can hear the sloshing of waves and the aquatic birds’ squawks closer than the constant hissing and peeping of the many birds and insects of the rainforest. There are so many flowers, trees, animals, and rotting leaves, whose aroma wafted out to me over the bitter smell of the fish and salt of the ocean.

Lying beside me is Fighting Piglet, the love of my life. Fighting Piglet is the stronger half of our relationship, being the one who can change anyone’s point of view, and is as stubborn as a boulder, never budging on an idea. Fighting Piglet is my compliment. I am shy and scared to fight for what I want, but together we are balanced perfectly.

“Little Elaenia, come fill the water bags and carry them to the settlement and stop flitting around with your woman who thinks she is a man.” Little c**k Who Holds His Chin High sped out of the rainforest scolding at me. “A woman’s place is not lying on the beach, but helping with the daily chores of the tribe. You should know that by now, Little Elaenia. Now run back quickly.” Little c**k Who Holds His Chin High has picked on me since we were children, playing together as my parents conversed with his. He would knock me over and tease me about how weak I was just to laugh when I got angry and hit him. “And as for you, Fighting Piglet,” He said her name as if he were revolted by a lump of guano, “You need to stay away from my girl; she isn’t just a toy from your disgusting fantasies.”

I’ve told him repeatedly that I will never belong to him, though he covets me saying my hair is so soft and beautiful flowing down to my legs and that my skin hugs my petite figure like silk and that I cause him the greatest pain by refusing him. I don’t believe a word of it. Unfortunately he crossed a line for Fighting Piglet, “You little Caecilian, I’m going to pound your head so deep into the sand that you will never be able to squirm your way back out.” She was so strong and beautiful with her piercing blue eyes that were so unique, luscious brunette hair flowing halfway down her back, and her towering height. She was taller than Little c**k by at least a hand’s with, though I was way shorter than them both. Seeing her stand up for me filled my heart with love and I just wanted to be held by her. That would never come to be though.

To avoid a fight between the two I piped in, “Excuse my interruption, but I am needing to go fill the water bags and I am sure that Little c**k Who Holds His Head High has to report to my father that I have received his message and am going about my chores.” I then ran off into the rainforest to get the water bags and fill them with Little c**k trailing slightly behind me.

♀

I watched her run off with him trailing behind her wishing I could follow, but that would just instigate a fight and Little Elaenia wouldn’t approve of that. She would get mad at me and I don’t know if I could stand living if she rejected me. I guess I should head back to the settlement, though everyone there will just shun me.
I was walking back through the rainforest when a group of young men ambushed me. Surrounding me and not letting me pass, they shouted insults calling me the woman who wishes she were a man, the woman who disgusts, and one who is unfit for life. They then started to throw rotting leaves and dirt from the ground at me while they continued to insult.

I looked around me at all the boys while trying to shield myself from the grime until I saw the alpha of the group, the man whose idea it was to attack me. I ran towards him hitting him with my outstretched arm as I passed. I then grabbed him and kneed him in the nose and kicked him in the groin, such a useless weakness. The other young men in the group just stood and stared because I had taken down their leader and he remained cowering on the ground in the fetus position. They hadn’t expected me to attack back but to be cowering on the ground begging for their mercy and that they would just spare me the suffering and kill me then.

I started to run after the next boy, but he started to flee. They all started to regained their wits and ran because they didn’t want to be punished for this attack like their leader, Bird Who Flies Without Wings. He would be punished because he bore the evidence of a fight and no one else wanted to have a mark betraying them, even if they would win if they attacked at once. Fighting amongst ourselves was frowned upon and especially ganging up on a woman even one that is an outcast, like me.

I found a pool of water to wash off the grime they threw at me and wept as I washed; where no one would see and think I was weak for it. Once I had rinsed off and cleaned off my clothing I walked back to the settlement. When I walked past Little Elaenia’s home I saw her with Little c**k and her father talking.

♀

“Little Elaenia, Little c**k Who Holds His Head High has asked me if he can take you as his woman and I have given you to him. As well, he has told me of your interest in Fighting Piglet. You will never go near her again. Do you want to ruin the honor of our family?” I had never confessed to my father for fear of his imminent disapproval and I can’t help feeling ashamed of my actions and feelings.

“I apologize, father. I am ashamed of my actions, thoughts, and the emotions I have felt. It is a crime against the spirits and I should be punished severely.” I knew that was true, but I couldn’t deny the way I felt. I felt it was right to be with Fighting Piglet, but my punishment for that will be to never see her again.

“As well you should, but that is not my decision to make anymore. Ask Little c**k Who Holds His Head High for I am done with you.” I was dismissed just like that. I turned around to see Fighting Piglet.

♂

I walked up to Little Elaenia, but before I was less than six forearms away she held up her hand signaling me to stop. “Fighting Piglet, I am sorry, but I belong to Little c**k Who Holds His Head High now. I don’t want to be with you and I never want to see you again. Goodbye.”

And just like that my already low spirits sunk to the point of no return. I couldn’t think I just ran. I knew of this beautiful cliff that overlooked the ocean with a magnificent view from 500 forearms above the water and I ran towards it. When I got there all I could feel was the pain of her forsaking my love, so I didn’t stop running.