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Tags: Writing, Writer, Writer's Block, Critiques, Friends 

Reply Poetry and Lyricism
Broken Inside

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x Solo Lobo x

PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 9:58 pm


I am alone; I have no one at all,
I thought I had you but you let me fall.
You broke my heart and tore my soul,
In side I am no longer whole.

For you I waited days on end,
Just to learn you are not my friend.
All I ever did was care,
In return you played unfair.

Anything you wanted I always sought,
I got not even an afterthought.
You broke me deep inside,
Now I wish I had died.

Lost my friends to be with you,
And what did I get; the shoe.
Were you worth all my trouble?
No I was left in rubble.

What you did made me change,
My friends I did estrange.
You have caused me great pain,
Ill never be the same.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:20 am


wachas think?

x Solo Lobo x


D0n3_W3Th

PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:27 pm


That is some deep stuff, man! I feel so bad because it reminds me of heartbreak. crying Personally, though, I'd tell that chick off and make her life miserable. twisted Anyway, this is good stuff, bro. You've got serious talent like me. And remember: pirates are strong through thick and thin. pirate
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:29 am


The sadness of giving your all just to see it shatter in front of you. DX

A nice poem; it really got those emotions we can all feel,not just for bad boyfriends/girlfriends, but also for bad friends.

Hope to see more of your stuff around- I love poetry, especially when it rhymes as much as this- I find rhyming sometimes to be the hardest task. xP;

Oukow


DKMiller

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:36 pm


I really liked your poem even though it reminded me of being brokenhearted. The emotion was clear but some of your sentences seemed to not flow right.
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Poetry and Lyricism

 
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