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I'm really not into any of them, or know any of them. The only punk I really listen to is pop-punk, like Blink 182 or Sum 41. (Anyone who wants to bash these two bands can bite me)

Stage One- Poseur (OMG! I'm HxC!): The Poseur may have just found Blink 182 on MTV, or may have just learned about his first less famous band from the internets. Too elite to hang out with non-Punk peers yet too fresh to become part of the true Punk elite, the Poseur repeatedly reveals his inexperience by speaking constantly of his favorite Pop-Punk groups (typically Good Charlotte, Blink-182, Simple Plan, and/or Sum-41), Hot Topic, and his current hair dye. At this level, the Poseur will frequently misuse Punk argot, believing proper way to shorthand Hardcore is "HxC" (it's hXc, newfag). Additionally, he will think that sporting X's on his hands is a fashion statement rather than a social one. The Poseur may try to emulate actual punks, the only way to tell is to offer them just about any drugs, one can sniff out a poseur if they respond "I don't need that stuff" as a real punk would take just about any drug known to Man. Placing the final nail in the Poseur's coffin, he dreams of attending Vans Warped Tour, despite the fact that the event is funded by a corporation which probably exploits sweatshop labor.


Stage Two- Punk Rocker: After floundering his way through Punk subculture, the Poseur evolves into a true Punk Rocker. He begins to understand teh governments are evil and either Anarchism or Socialism is the way of the future, with his choice of political ideology dependent on both personal preference and current employment (or lack thereof). His political opinion develops, albeit prematurely; he frequently maintains an anti-Racist stance yet still holds onto his misogyny. The Punk Rocker typically knows of at least five local Punk venues and dozens of better known Hardcore bands. The Punk Rocker preys on Poseurs, effectively imitating his then-oppressors. Becoming a fashion snob, he spends at least 10 minutes spiking his Mohawk as high as possible and ensuring all his patches are still sewn onto his jacket. Unlike his elders, the Punk Rocker cares enough about his hygiene to shower on a semi-regular basis; as soon as he finds enlightenment, he gives up the ghost. Typically, a combination of Oi!/StreetPunk and Hardcore can be found in his playlist/CD/vinyl collection.


Stage Three- Enlightened Punk: Discovering Adbusters, overexposure to an Anarchist point of view, and hanging out with Crusties for at least one month, the Punk Rocker subscribes to the belief that through collectivist action, peace can be achieved, effectively achieving Enlightenment. Reasonably speaking, every nation on earth needs the largest possible government to enforce the banishment of all government. In spite of this glaring contradiction, Enlightened Punks continue to preach Chomsky and fiery indignation towards Michael Moore's and/or his favorite band's latest targets. If exposed to an excessively Hippie point of view, the Enlightened Punk will insist that peaceful protest will change the world; if otherwise, the police will frequently apprehend the Enlightened Punk for inciting riots and disorderly conduct. Exposed to a feminist point of view by proxy, the Enlightened Punk insists that "womyn" would be better off dead than live under an evil, fascistic, patriarchal, imperialist government. In congruence to feminism, the Enlightened Punk becomes involved with the gay rights movement, believing that homosexuality is both exotic and subversive. Additionally, in spite of the lack of Black people involved in Punk (except Bad Brains, but they suck cocks, so no one gives a s**t), the Enlightened ones insist on multicultural societies where big bad whitie can never oppress people. Many eBay their leather jackets and turn vegan at this stage but still smokes cigarettes because money spent supporting corporations and/or government coffers is fine if it's not convenient enough to quit doing so. At this point, they only will listen to Anarcho-Punk/Crust Punk (and ONLY on vinyl, as digital technology represents barcoded corporate world domination).


Stage Four- Yuppie: After becoming aware that the world will not squat with him in protest towards multinational corporations and/or failing to abort at least one child, the Enlightened Punk decides to throw in the towel and put the college education that his parents paid for to use. At first, it will become increasingly difficult to find work, as squatting and actively seeking to destroy the government doesn't have a reassuring effect on employers. When the Enlightened Punk finally does find work, he will evolve into the White-Collar Yuppie, and the paycheck rat race begins for him. The Yuppie will work for a big company that lets him listen to anti-corporate punk rock on his iPod. He will tone down his political ideology and subscribe to traditional liberal politics; demonstrating this transformation, his minivan (which his home owner's association allows) will be plastered with pro-Democrat and/or anti-W bumper stickers. The Yuppie reminisces fondly of the Ramones to maintain a public-friendly, non-offensive appearance. Desperate to ensure his children will not travel down the same path he did, the Yuppie will always attend the Pop-Punk concerts his children nagged him to go to.

NOTE: The aforementioned will ONLY happen if the Enlightened Punk manages to find a job; if not, the he quits IRL.

throw me some old punk bands, like The Ramones, or the Clash, then we'll talk.

No one here is a fan of current pop-punk (Blink 182, Sum 41), or current Ska Punk (Less Than Jake) or current punk rock (Rise Against).