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Full name:: Gryph
Reasons for the name(s):: His father had a thing for Gryphons from fairy tails.
Date of Birth/Apparent Age/Approximate Age::looks to be around 24. He has a fair young face.
If he/she was alive during the masacres, was he/she bonded? To whom? no
Rank::Sargtlin
If a Daewl, what is his/her one power?::
Skin Tone:: Light tan
Height:: 6' 3"
Weight/Body Build:: 190 lb. Gryph well built and slender. He doesn't like to be out of shape.
Hair:: blone hair pulled back into a small pony tail. Has some bangs in the front. Bang are short and often pushed to the left side of the face. On the side of his head is two long side strands of hair that hang down to the lower part of his neck.Gryph hair has some streaks of brown in it as well.
Eyes:: Dark Brown for his left, his right eye is a milky white and often kept shut.
Ear colours/markings:: White with light yellow at the tips and yellow that borders around the bottom of his ears.
Tail colours/markings:: About the same on his ears and there in a single yellow band that goes around his tail in the middle.
Peculiar Physical Traits:: He is blinded in his right eye and has a horrible scar to go with it.
Distinguishing Marks:: Gryph has a scar that start right on his eye brow on the right side of his face. Goes throw his eye lids diagonly to right where his nose meets his cheak bone. It hurts to breath sometimes through his right nostrol.
((Gryph scar how it would look like.))
Health:: fairly good. Gryph eyesight in his right eye was lost in a terrible accident. This is partially Gryph and Raidel fault. Gryph and Raidel for playing with there wooden swords and when two boys are left alone too long they get into trouble. Gryph wanted to show Raidel his fathers sword. Raidel nodded. Gryph went and got his fathers sword out of the closet were his father would put it. Gryph ran out side to Raidel with his sword in hand. Gryph had the biggest grin on his face. "See See. Its his sword when he is on duty," said Gryph to Raidel. "Awesome," said Raidel in awe. Gryph pulled the sword out of its sheath and it was very heavy. "wow i wonder how my father holds this," said Gryph. "He must be strong." Gryph handed the sword to Raidel. This is where things go wrong. Raidel slowly tried to pick up the sword by the handle. It came out of its sheath. Raidel didn't think of the weight and lifted it up fast. "wow," said Raidel. Then something dripped down on his face. It was blood. Raidel looked down at Gryph who laid on the ground crying a wailing. The sword had left a large gouge in Gryph face.Raidel instantly dropped the sword to rush to his friend's aid. Gryph's father Lotious came out to see what the noise was about to see his sword laying on the ground. He ran over pick up his sword and sheath and the picked up Gryph. He told Raidel to go home. Serval days after that Raidel had gotten punished by his own parents and Gryph had to walk around with a bandage over his face. Raidel felt guilty and tried to help him by staying on his right side. Gryph had forgiven him. Raidel swore that he would be there for him when they became soldiers. Gryph just grinned because he knew that was promise that neither one of them could keep.

Senses:: His left eye has to over compensate for his right eye not being able to see. He is really good at hearing things from far away. His since of smell is pretty bad when his allergies hit in the summer time and often get bloody noses from the allergies.
Voice:: Very strong and calm. Though it tends to be gentle.
Mannerisms:: Often when he talks he uses his hands. Gryph shows a lot emotion in his face but only the left side of his face can show it completely. It irradiate him when something isn't completely done especially when he has artist block. Also when he talks to someone who is on his right side he often turns around to see them.
Clothes/shoes/accessories:: Gryph wears a cotton shirt that laces up in the front. It is brown with some nice embroidering on the sides and has long sleeves. His pants are black leather. He wears leather braces on both of his arms. His shoes are some leather boots his father once wore. He had to alter them a bit because his father feet was one shoe size too small. He has a red head band that used to be his mother's sash but he always found it to be a lucky charm. In a way it was like keeping a part of his mother with him. For his belt it was three- two that crisscrossed and one that went around his waist. The one around his waist had pouches on it to carry a small snack and some small bandages to patch up quickly small wounds.
Eating habits/mannerisms/tastes:: He will eat anything because even as a soldier he sometimes doesn't know what to buy with his money. Though he doesn't like anything too spice but he does have a very bad sweet tooth. He doesn't like spicy food. One time he ate some spicy pork that Raidel had given him for lunch and end up being sick the next morning with a bad case of heartburn and upset stomach.

Significant Other/Relationship:: He doesn't have one.
Who does he/she live with?:: Alone
Who does he/she spend the most time with?:: Children who want to play or have question about what he does when he works.. Any other day he would be sparing with Raidel . Raidel often would tell him to sell his father's sword but Gryph would refuse. Raidel had money to burn as they would say. Gryph would never ask to borrow money but Raidel would often sneak it into one of Gryph pouches on his belt. Gryph hated when he did that. Raidel when he was really good about it would sneak it in during their sparring matches.
Father/Relationship with him/Rank/Current Status:: Lotious/ okay terms with him/Sargtlin/ retired and goes fishing a lot. Often has a wise saying that would be useful for Gryph. Gryph relationship with his father is a strange one. When he was younger and his mother was alive Gryph father was often strict. Gryph bad temper could be blamed on his father for he had one too and often if Gryph disobey him would smack him across the face to punish him. He didn't want his son to be a slacker. He was going to be a good soldier like his old man. Though Lotious new that he wasn't going to be that great of a patrolmen/soldier due to Gryph's disability. As years went on after Lotious lover died he let go and care of everything. He had spiraled into a depression. Often he didn't eat or sleep and his age began to show. Gryph started to worry. He was about 12 when his mother died. Lotious became more and more not there anymore. Lotious was often sent to healers by Gryph to make him heathy but it only seemed to get worse. What made matters worse was Lotious started to talk to himself or as Lotious would say he was having a discussion with Lique. This caused him to move out and find somewhere else to live. For a month or so Gryph stated with Raidel.
Mother/Relationship with her/Rank/Current Status:: Lique/ very good relation ship. Raise her son to be kind and not loose his temper as much when something stupid might happen/Vhaid / dead...Gryph doesn't talk much about his mother. But he often wear a scarf thing that his mother wore. She died when he was only a boy. Though his father never really told him how she died that she was far far away and watching over them.
Siblings/Ranks/Current Status:: Doesn't have any. Gryph is an only child.
Best Friend/Rank/Current Status:: Raidel/Sargtlin / Soldier patrol men / If there was anyone that Gryph liked training with it was Raidel. They did fight a lot but it was normally over silly things on who would take a girl out to dinner or who was the strongest. Raidel beat him all the time. In a way Gryph admire Raidel a lot for his strength and being able to share his companionship with him. Gryph also forgave his friend all those years ago. Raidel had kept his word on helping him out in a time of need to repent for the accident. The two of them went to through the same classes in school and help out one another.
Feelings toward animals::He doesn't mind them much. He does like to go hunting though. Raidel comes with and they set traps over using weapons.
How does he/she view his/her family?:: Gryph often misses his mother. Often he thinks his father might have gone a little crazy after Lique died. Though Gryph doesn't really blame his father for it either. Gryph does notice that even though Gryph's mother is gone, his father still tries to keep her alive. Even if it does have him talking to himself.
How does he/she view his/her friends?:: Gryph admires Raidel a lot and is sometimes a little jealous of Raidel for being strong then him. Gryph never really let it get to him. He's known Raidel too long and knows if he were ever in trouble Raidel would be there to help him.
How does his/her family view him/her?:: Lotious wants Gryph to have a good life and often wants him to learn from his mistakes so Gryph doesn't repeat them again. Lotious truly cares for his son even if his beliefs are a bit too naive. Lotious often thought his young son would become a slacker of a soldier, if he let his disability get in the way and using it as an excuse. Though Gryph does live up to his expectation he is proud of his son and show it in his own way.
How does his/her friends view them?:: Raidel thinks of Gryph as a great rival and often turns to him for advice. Raidel relies more on Gryph then his own family. Raidel would gladly offer Gryph money even if he can't pay him back. Raidel would trust him with his life. Raidel still feels guilty for leaving Gryph alone the day that he cause Gryph to loose his eye sight.. That event would cause Raidel to forever try to get Gryph's forgiveness and why he would offer his money, life, and home. Gryph already told him he forgave Raidel. Though Raidel still thinks he holds a grudge against him.
Who is his/her hero?:: His best friend Raidel. Raidel kept Gryph moving to become a better person. Gryph had alway admired him more then anything, even his own father. Gryph would gladly except Raidel as a brother to him. Gryph is proud of Raidel for carrying on both their dreams to protect the village.

Reread that front page, and take what Kep said to heart. Let me know when you adjust things, and I'll read it over again.

That's all the advice I have for you right now.

I'm going to warn you from the beginning, Alex, that this is going to be a harsh critique. You didn't take anything Kep said into account, and I have my doubts about how much you have actually read, so I don't really see that I have any other choice.

To begin, there are no knights in the Village. I don't know where you got the impression that there were, or that soldiers are so meager in comparison, but there are no knights in the Village--as Keppit has already told you repeatedly. There is no basis for knights, there is no needs for knights, and even if he did aspire to be a knight, he would probably get no more than laughs from the rest of the Sargtlins. Knights and squires are a thing of history and childrens' games.

Sargtlin patrols, on the other hand, are considered a thing of talent and respect by the Villagers. The best of the best are the regular patrollers, though most adult Sargtlins are expected to regularly take a turn. Sargtlin soldiers are not surly, power-hungry police officers who walk about the Village bullying everyone weaker than them, but respectable, professional guardsmen who range far and wide to keep the Village safe from Valz'hin, Ssan, and other such threats. That is not, of course, to say that there would not be the occasional bully, because Sargtlins are by nature more aggressive than other Jivvins, but the Sargtlin leader is also very strict on his troops, and such behavior would quickly get back to him and be dealt with.

On this note, I will point out that he is far too young to have progressed high in the ranks of the patrols, and that all save for the highest Captains are expected to have a side occupation for when they are not scheduled to patrol. Here, I would like to point out, that, aside from his young age, he is blind in one eye. Blind in one eye, and an excellent swordsman, with an old sword that breaks every other time he uses it! There mere fact that he is blind in one eye and would have no depth perception to speak of would keep him from even patroling at all, for risks to both himself and his team, and the lack of depth perception would not give him much hope in a fight at all, even in training. Might I point out that you've also said that he's a very good swordsman, yet when sparring he loses almost every match he's in. (I also don't know where you've got the idea of these regular, "let's make fools out of the less talented" once a month sparring matches, but that's minor.) Even assuming he managed to have some element of skill despite his eye, he would be required to use a different sword on patrol, because the frequency of this one breaking would also put his team at risk. The use of the sword would not be admirable, it would be foolish, and he would be the laughing stock of the patrols for it. Hang his dad's sword on the wall, be proud of it, but have some ounce of common sense, or sit on the sidelines. (Though, I might point out, his dad wouldn't have been a knight either.)

Also, I don't care how surly and bully-ish you want to pretend the Sargtlins are, but no Sargtlin in his right mind would cut out a six year old's eye in the middle of the village, especially when said six year old was play-swordfighting! That's an admirable aspiration for a young Sargtlin, and an older one would probably remember doing the same thing at his age and hardly bat an eye.

On the note of the 6 year old--you seem to have no concept of how Jivvins age. You mention specific years, 6, 18, 24, which perfectly coincide with human aging, and that is simply not how things work. 18 is also a modern young adult--boys were expected to do men's work much younger in the past. He would start training at the Jivvin equivalent of 14 or so, if not younger, if he had any real desire to be a talented patroller.

These final two points are more minor, but also necessary. Keppit has already told you that there are not dogs and cats and such animals in the Village. There are no modern domestic animals. Jivvins would farm deer and ducks, animals naturally expected in the area, and potential pets might be things like birds or squirrels and rabbits. No dogs, no cats, no horses. Jivvins can move as quickly as horses when four-legged anywhere, there's no point to them.

And lastly, it is certainly not a sign of weakness to hope to settle down some day. The Sargtlin himself is married--not just mated, but married--and his affection and love for his wife is very well known. It's an admirable trait, and no one thinks any less of him for it.

Fix it, Alex.

Sorry about that . Yeah I was typing it when I was getting ready for work. I did meant to put young there. Lotious knew he wouldn't have a chance to be a good soldier. Lotious just pushed him to do his best. It wasn't to be mean or anything.

Thank you, Alex, for being so willing to compromise, and so determined to succeed with this application. I know you've had to make a hell of a lot of changes to it, but it's really paid off, and I think you've got a good character going.

Approved <3