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 Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:24 pm
My boyfriend was over a few nights ago, and we tried to take our relationship to the next level. The only problem was ... he couldn't keep it from going limp. I'm not talking about it happening a little bit before he orgasms, but before we start or a few seconds in. We've tried me on top, and him on top with the same problem. He was into the drug Ecstasy a lot, doing it every day for 5 years. (Of course, he's clean now, I don't date drug users.)
The 3 times we tried, it didn't work. I've never been with someone with a problem like this ... so it made me feel bad about myself. Like it was my fault, etc. He kept apologizing and saying it wasn't, and that the drugs ******** him up. He's fine if I give him a hand job, or a blow job, it's going to intercourse that seems to be the problem.
Is there any thing we can do to help this? I would really love to connect with him on that level, but I'm scared to try again because I'd feel so down if it didn't work out. I have overheard him talking to my brother about sex a few times, and he seemed to be fine with his exes. (Then again, he might have been on the drugs then, I don't know.) There must be something I can do though, isn't there?
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:22 pm
If he is fine during manual sex and oral sex, then the problem probably isn't physical. If it only happens during intercourse, it's probably psychological. That means that he probably just needs time to get completely comfortable with you in bed. It happens to a lot of guys in new relationships or during stressful times in their life.
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:19 pm
I never thought of it that way. I just hadn't seen him as a guy who needed time to feel more comfortable. Thanks, and so I suppose we should wait longer before trying again then.
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