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 Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:48 pm
For the past two years my dad and grandpa have been arguing on and off. The first time it got this bad, my grandparents did not speak to my family for nearly a year. Right now my dad's on the phone, I'm not sure with who... talking about how he's pissed about how his parents suck up to the oldest (my aunt), and say how my dad isn't a success. Uh, that aunt has no job, one kid that she had when she was 17 and has the IQ of a 6-year-old 'cause she abused drugs (now 36 years old?) and her younger son is a bit better. My family: brother owns his own house and got no issues, sister living two hours away getting educated to be an LPN, and me in my junior year of high school. I'm not gonna go into much further detail, as I don't want to leak too much information.
I'm thinking of giving my dad some affection when he finishes the conversation. All depends on if he's really angry or not. (When he's angry I like to hide, because he gets really loud and stomps around... yeah I just avoid that.)
I also have a possible idea: call grandma/grandpa and tell them to give my dad more affection and less crap.
Any ideas?
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:58 pm
Bring dad a cup of coffee or whatever you think will calm him down. Don't get too affectionate. Mad guys don't like that, especially from someone they think is a kid. Put your hand on his arm or shoulder and tell him that he has your full support and all your love. Tell him that you don't expect him to be perfect. Ask him if he thinks a family meeting or reunion would help. Talk to mom and see if there's anything she can do to bring the family closer. Good luck.
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:36 pm
It's best that you don't try to persuade your grandparents, you don't want to get involved in a fight that could turn very ugly. And your father might also feel betrayed since you went behind his back, even if you had nothing but the best intentions. I'm sure you want to help but the only thing you can do right now is try your best to calm down your father.
There are some unspoken limitations to family affairs, I'm sorry.
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Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 11:26 am
Alot of times parents don't allow their children to know the full aspect of what is going on with situations like this. (I did not know that my mother and her siblings were abused as children until I was 19)
BUT the best course of action for this is probably to let it go. Try to let your dad know that if he wants to talk to you about anything that you will be there to listen. But beyond that, there is not much that you can do. Just hold your head high and remind yourself that you are better than your extended family and you probably have your own mom and dad to thank for that. And hey, let your mom and dad know that you appreciate them. Tell them that you love them and you hope that you always have a loving and caring bond between you guys.
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Posted: Sun Feb 08, 2009 9:25 pm
Thanks for the helpful words everyone. =)
My dad left last night for another long haul trip to the east coast. I gave him a big hug and said "I love you" like always. But I was sure to say it first.
Things seem to have settled down. I'm thinking that phone call helped him let some of it out, and therefore is feeling better. Time will tell, but in the meantime all is well.
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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:29 am
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