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So pretty much for the past year you have all probably at the least seen my 200+ paged thread's all about me and Dylan, and what I should do with that kid. I recently stopped blogging. I thought things were getting better. They did.. at first. I'm sorry I stopped responding. Here's the update, with whats going on through my head. And for those of you who I got you involved into this mess please forgive me. But from the start.

In late March/April of 2008 Dylan and I were friends. April 21st we were pretty much best friends, no one could stand in our way. May I fell for him pretty hard. We still hung out a lot in the summer. Then he got a girlfriend named Chelsea. Chelsea was a little b*tch and I am not just saying that because she was with him, she seriously was and in my opinion still is a b*tch. While they were going out I was no part of his life. They broke up around October 27th and on November 1st I got a call from Dylan out of the blue, while he was still pretty much not talking to me. He said he had an extra ticket to a spook house type thing called Trail of Fears if I wanted to go. Most amazing night of 2008. I thought maybe it was a set up at first, especially when it was 8:15 and he was supposed to be there at 8:00. But it wasn't. Everything went fine. Moving along and its Thanksgiving. My best friend's mom, Christie invited me and my mom to them and their families house for Thanksgiving because we didn't have any plans for Thanksgiving. After we ate with the Smiths and Ulriches, Whitlea came over to my house and Whitlea texted Dylan eventually telling him I liked him. Later on that night his facebook statuses changed from saying stuff such as quotes from the song "I'm Yours" to "I should have listened to what they told me ;)" and "I wish I knew I wasn't alone." we were close friends just like in the summer.

But now. He doesn't even talk to me. I was very picky about who I let know I liked him. First one was Becah, she confronted me about it though. Long story short she told me who she liked before anyone knew and I felt bad if I didn't tell her who I liked in return. Second down was Andria. Third was Whitlea and she has known for a few months before Thanksgiving. Dylan has known since Thanksgiving. Now Kaysea knows. My used to be arch enemy. And since Wednesday night, Kenzie, and Kayley. I'm getting pretty careless, I honestly am. And honestly I am starting to give up on this flippin kid.

Becah told me Wednesday night something along the lines of "I wish he would go out with you//You guys should go out." while Kaysea (Becah's older sister) said "He doesn't like her Becah." I just kinda stared at the floor. Realizing I was starting not to care anymore.

So yeah. There we go. I tried to nutshell the 400+ posts plus what hasn't been heard of. Sorry if I didn't make much sense. Kudos to you if you read it all. And I am sorry to whomever has helped me throughout the past year. I'd be miserable as heck by now.

Maybe its for the best that you do give up on him for your own sanity. Boys can be so dumb at times.

Right when I think I am permanatly giving up on the kid.. he throws a curveball. I honestly don't know whats going on anymore.

He sits by me all the time in public if he can, yeah, okay. But he wont talk to me in public hardly at all. But when I am on the phone with him, talking to him face to face in his home, he talks like we are best friends. And supposedly he is going to come over today after church to hang out. Although I might mention we have planned stuff like this before and it never happened so my hopes aren't too high. But still. I must say. I am flipping confused because of this kid.

If he cancles for no reason. (Which only happened a few times.) Then I am just going to give up. But it's hard when my two besties Whitlea and Becah try to push me closer to him. They both want me to be closer to him and I know that Becah wants me to go out with him. But it's just so confusing. I don't know if he is trying to act mean to me in public so people don't think he likes me (even as a friend?) or if hes trying to be nice to me in front of the parents (his and mine). I honestly don't understand anymore.

Wish me luck what-ever the outcome may be.

Yeah. He ditched me. I am planning on giving up on him. It's hard to though. Even though he's hurt me a lot of times.