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My boyfriend has a bad family life, it reminds me of my own in someways. I just don't know how to help him anymore though, I've ran out of things to say to try to make everything at least a little better.

His parents will pick fights with him and everything. His dad will mess with him but then it's like my boyfriend does something wrong and his dad freaks out and well, it's not good.

A few weeks ago after team penning(it's an event I do with his family every Saturday) we were putting the horses up and his dad freaked out cause J jerked the haulter trying to keep the horse from misbehaving while he was in the stall with him. His dad ended up grabbing J by the collar on his jacket and slammed him against the wall and proceeded to scream at him. His mom tried to step in but it took a while for his dad to listen.

That night both his parents ended up leaving the home for sometime(their house and the farm where the horses are at are 2 different places). J's dad ended up getting some of his clothes and going to his parents' house which is where the horses are. He's been there ever since but they still see him every once in a while and I still talk to him if I'm at J's house and he calls.

Now I know what you might be thinking. His mom stood up for him. No, she only did because it defended her. Any other time I talk to J his mom is picking some sort of fight with him like calling his cell so he had to hang up with me just to say good night when she had done that earlier.

What happened today was apparently J was set off by something and ended up getting into a fight with his mom and brought up the situation with his dad. She blamed him for that happening. He's really upset about it and says that I am the only person to actually view him as a person and that I helped show him that he was worth the life he was given.

I really don't know what to do. I mean he lives a half hour away from me and I was supposed to see him tomorrow but I'm meeting up with a couple of friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I would tell them I had to see J but he told me I had to see them since I was gonna see J on Sunday anyway.

He's such an amazing person but he thinks he's not worth it and I really don't know what to do anymore...

well, if it looks like abuse to you then you can't be afraid to help find professional help for him
from the way you've described it, it sounds like you ought report suspected abuse, call a hotline or something
other than that, just be supportive and uplifting, let a few other people know don't start a rumor but talk to a counselor

that's about all i remember from my child care class i hope things get better

Thanks for your help guys. I do want to make him feel better and the only problem with going out is that when I go to his house my parents don't want me gong anywhere and if we do go somewhere it's with his friends or parents. He hasn't been to my house yet so we couldn't do anything here.

I will talk to him about talking to someone about it. People told me I should have talked to someone about abuse with my dad but mine isn't as bad as his.

The only problem about him living with relatives is that the only nearby ones are either living in his house or the other family being his grandparents where his dad is staying and apparently they give him trouble too but are cutting back finally noticing what his dad is doing to him. His dad didn't think he would stay at the house long before his mom drove him crazy and everything but J doesn't really want to go to the farm either.

And great, little brother came in telling jokes and I lost my train of thought...

Oh yeah.

His entire family agrees that since J and I started dating they saw improvments in him. He wasn't so angry, he became more helpful and listened a litttle better. You know, just improved. They also say that when I'm around he's a lot better too, but once I leave he becomes stubborn again. I don't know, but it really seems like either side (J or his parents) are really trying to work things out...

His friends are great. They're practically like brothers to him. They always have his back and I'm glad for that since I can't be there for him all the time.

His parents seem to be getting over their fight from last month which is helping him out a lot. He actually seems to be doing a lot better as well. A part of that was because he was finally forgiving himself from things from his past. I didn't even know how much he was holding against himself till the other night.