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 Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:47 pm
Mood: exuberant and cold
Listening to: myself hum
Reading: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea
Eating: raw hamburger meat; just a little fragment, red shading to pink and slimy between my teeth, the taste of iron like an acrid flower on my tongue
Drinking: spit and mucus
When THEY break out in bursts of capitaliZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY...tion: SING.
Singing in my head because the rain's too cold to sing in. In the rain I always end up parched, my throat like sandpaper anyhow. I can't sing, I'm too busy skipping. And the thing about rain is: it makes people keep their eyes on the ground, which is BAD. And the thing about rain is: it makes the ground beautiful, which is GOOD.
Good and Bad, words my English teacher disapprove of, are all rolled up into absolute zero; therefore I have no qualms about popping my eyeballs out of their sockets and weighing them and fitting each to the curve and hollow of one palm, holding them so that one stares up at the sky and one is trained upon the puddles. Isn't it LOVELY? Lovely, lovely.
I only wear bright colors on grey days; today a red red shirt, not scarlet or crimson or treacherous ruby but red. My white raincoat insignificant in the face of the brilliant cuffs peeking out from too-short sleeves.
I want to quote because to create in this dismal glory would be like walking thirsty through the rain: and here comes a storm in the form of a girl, a material girl, full of sympathy for the world that wouldn't let her beeeeeeeeeee.
Crazy.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:58 pm
i'm thinking about june and how melancholy can creep up on you like in-laws arriving with a suitcase. i'm thinking about how secrets have their own melody and how i hope NASA's plans for the moon never come to fruition. i'm thinking about hope and how important it is to never feel like you're being backed into a corner. i'm thinking about how you can't walk away from certain people no matter how badly you want to at times, no matter how many forests are on fire, you can't stop watching the flames, get off that chair, and walk away. we're chained to certain people and as strong as the pull is to sail away, it's even stronger when it says stay. i'm thinking about the idea of home and how some people live their whole lives without finding one. i'm thinking about "wearing your butterflies with pride." i'm thinking about leonard cohen and how he said that life got a lot easier when he stopped expecting to be the hero of his own tragedy. i'm thinking about the secret worlds children create when the one they are born into proves itself to be too harsh, too rough, too unwelcoming. i'm thinking about graveyard songs and blue pumpkins and glass cats with pink brains. i'm thinking about memory and how it can be either a fairy godmother or an evil stepsister. i'm thinking about responsibility and wondering if it should be seen as a virtue or a vice. i'm thinking about life with all its daisies and its garbage bags.
You make me think.
You and these Ladies on the mountain who never give in...
You all make me think.
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 10:28 pm
Spun glass cats with graceful, whorled fur blown by careful lips and artifice into the molten sand. The crooked magician who I liked because he was a real coward and he didn't need a mane to be a paradox, to leave his patchwork children unguarded.
I chose one image because it's easier that way. Seriously, there was actual thought sparked by your thoughting at me as inspired by previous thoughtage, but I am keeping it in the dark behind the eyes because then I can avoid being pompous and flowery, because then I can treasure my incoherency.
Or: I would have said something meaningful, but then I recalled
that that is not the point
of this exercise
in thought
and tr
iang
le
s
.
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