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How to Deal With "Urges"
Someone asked me to post some information on this, so I'll give it a shot.
If you feel the urge to have sex, be sexual, but you're nervous and not sure how to deal with them, try:

1) Doing something to take your mind off the urges. Read, watch a movie, get out of the house. Go for a walk. Swim, Bike-ride. Try a sport or hobby. Keep yourself away from things that might remind you of sex, or of your urges.

2) Masturbate. This might relieve some sexual tension, and will probably just help make the person feel better overall. It also helps one know their own body better, since they're exploring it firsthand to find out what they like best.

3) Talk to someone about it. If someone else is experiencing the same things or the same urges you are, it might make you feel better to talk to someone who is going through what you are.

Pamphlet - "So You Want To Say No"

Another pamphlet from the stand that was set up in a local mall. It happens to take the strong perspective of "Sex inside marriage is best" - HOWEVER I understand that not every one agrees with that or thinks that way. If it bothers you enough, please leave. Everyone else, read it with a grain of salt. Some of the ideas are a bit iffy (for those who don't agree with the concept), but the general idea of waiting to have sex is pretty good here, in my opinion.

Flaming about the concept of this pamphlet will result in a warning. So don't do it.

~

If you have the will to refuse, you will find a way.
Possible reasons:

- Not ready for pregnancy
- I have plans for my life, so I'm not ready for sex yet
- None of the pregnancy/child support options sound appealing
- Don't want an STD
- Want to have children in the future
- I haven't found the right person
- I want to protect my heart, too
- Saving the best sex for marriage
- Pre-marital sex is against my personal standards
- I'm not easy - I'm worth waiting for
- It might damage my relationship with parents/friends (reputation)/future spouse


Saying no - choose your style
Possible reasons:

- I like you, but ____________ <--- insert your will/reason
- No thanks, it's not my style.
- I'm waiting for Mr./Mrs. Right
- "Friends first" is my motto - a ring is the only key to my heart
- Do you know what you are asking? It leads to sex. Let's find something else to do
- I like you - I even think I love you - but I'm waiting until marriage
- We are too good of friends to ruin our relationship with "casual sex"
- Haven't you heard the sexual revolution is over and love costs?
- Until I get the wedding ring, you don't get a thing
- I'm too selfish to sacrifice my life for you right now
- I don't give free samples - try Baskin Robbins
- You wouldn't want me to break my pledge, would you?
- I've got plans for my life that don't include [the will/reason] right now
- Don't you know that sex causes babies, even with birth control? I'm not ready for the sacrifice. Are you?
- I don't believe in sex before marriage. Do you?
- I'd die if I had to tell my future spouse about having an STD. Especially if it's one I might pass on
- If I do this, it will be hard to look in the mirror and call myself "resonsible"
- I thought you cared enough that you wouldn't put my future at risk
- This isn't going "all the way" - but how many guys would you like your wife to do this with before you?
(or)
- This isn't going "all the way" - but how many girls would you like your husband to do this with before you?
- Do you want to marry a virgin? So do I. But what you want to do is not going to keep me a virgin very long
- There's nothing casual about sex
- I believe in marriage for life. So I don't do anything that I wouldn't be comfortable telling in detail to my future mate
- When we get married, I'll trust you more because I know that you waited with me
- You wouldn't ask me to compromise my standards of telling the truth would you? Why you you ask me to compromise my standards of being true to my committment about sex?
- You see these dotted lines? If you touch anything between them, you do it at your own risk. My dad has a very large gun.


The Facts of Life
Sexual activity is not restricted to "going all the way" or sexual intercourse. It's about the heart, emotions and intellect as well as the body. Birginity is not just for sissies or females. And, even if someone has had sex before, it's smart to start over.


How Far is Too Far?
- It's going further physically than the commitment within the relationship is (emotionally, spiritually, financially or socially)

- It's going further than I'd want my little sister or child going in the same situation

- It's going further than I'd want to describe to my future, life-long marriage partner


Steps for Refusing
- Set your standard
- Avoid difficult or compromising situations
- Make eye contact before refusing
- Don't drink or use drugs on a date
- Sign a written pledge to yourself and your future husband/wife to wait
- Declare your intentions and standards
- Say what you mean, and mean what you say
- Talk to your parents about your intention to remain abstinent
- Group date, or court someone with your same values
- Always carry phone money - call home for help anytime
- Stay in school - keep your eyes on your future
- Be willing to stand firm or leave the scene


Remember:
- You are a person of value
- If that special someone doesn't honour your wishes know, they won't treat you special later
- Set the stage for a life of respect
- You are worth the wait
- Say "no" and wait


Ways to Love (other than sexually)
- Give gifts
- Be friends
- Share happy times
- Make memories
- Talk for hours
- Go on walks
- Believe the best for each other
- Encourage and trust one another
- Lisen to dreams for the future