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 Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:13 am
i'v fingered and all that but i've never really had sex. i can never get past one finger so i could never figure out how in the world a p***s would fit in there. i'm relaxed and i work at it and i try to stretch it but i never get past one. i've been told that it will hurt a lot the first time. i've seen in this forum that some guys say they don't fit into their partners. is there is tips to make it easier? i know about lubrication but i still think my boyfriend would have a hard time getting in there.
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 9:48 am
It can hurt the first time having sex, but that doesn't mean it's supposed to.
The v****a was made for sex. A p***s will fit in it. But if you're not lubricated enough or if you're tense, nervous, or uncomfortable, that can sure make sex seem painful or impossible. That is true whether it's your first time or not. But girls are more likely to be tense, nervous, and not properly lubricated their first time. That's where this whole "the first time is supposed to hurt" myth came from.
Lubrication is the biggest and most common problem. Trust me, it makes a huge difference. The amount of natural lubricant produced varies from one woman to the next. And it even varies depending on where we are in our monthly cycle, how old we are, what medications we're on, etc. So some women need to use store bought lubricant every time. Other women never need it. And some women need it sometimes but not others.
I have been having sex for about nine years. I never had pain during sex for the first seven years. But now, as I get older, I am dryer than I used to be, and I do notice the difference. So I have to use a store bought lubricant now even though I didn't have to before.
So if you're unable to get one finger in when you're relaxed, you might be one of the many women who tend to run on the dryer side. Try buying a water-based lubricant. Try it even if you think you're lubricated enough. Because a lot of women think they're lubricated enough until they try a store bought lubricant and feel the difference!
So things to know before having sex:
-Water-based lubricant. Very important.
-Relax. Make sure you're comfortable with your partner.
-Don't force it. If you have trouble, you're more likely to tense up. Take a break and try again later. No rush.
-Get in the mood before trying to put anything in your v****a. Your v****a will expand when you're in the mood.
But if you still have trouble even with lots of relaxation and lubrication, visit an ob-gyn to make sure nothing is wrong.
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:08 am
i don't finger much i guess i just don't like it, it does nothing for me. i'm hoping it's not like that when he goes in but i'm thinking it won't be. but whatever goes in there i don't feel anything from it, it's just there. maybe the reason i'm not open is becasue i don't feel any pleasure from it.
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:18 am
That's possible. Are you just stimulating the v****a and nothing else? If so, that's probably the problem. It's very rare to orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. Most women need clitoral stimulation in order to really enjoy themselves and orgasm.
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:24 am
yeah i've tried both at the same time but i still didn't orgasm. i have a massage toy that i vibrate over my c**t and after a while i do orgasm, but i was never able to do that and finger (not enough room). it takes a very long time to orgasm just touching my c**t and when i do it's very small.
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 10:24 am
The first time I tried to have sex (tried being the operative word here) the guy couldn't get inside of me because I was too tight. Prior to having sex all I'd had inside of me was 2 of his fingers and tampons.
So the next day we tried again and he could fit inside of me, but he had to really slow down, and be very gentle. And even then I still bled a bit and it was very painful for me.
But the guy I was with also had a lot of girth. The other times I had sex it didnt hurt at all, but he still had to slowly push into me just to get inside.
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Posted: Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:37 pm
takemeawaytoparadise yeah i've tried both at the same time but i still didn't orgasm. i have a massage toy that i vibrate over my c**t and after a while i do orgasm, but i was never able to do that and finger (not enough room). it takes a very long time to orgasm just touching my c**t and when i do it's very small. Maybe a toy that stimulates the v****a and clitoris at the same time would help you out some. Orgasm intensity does vary a bit from one person to the next though. So even the perfect toy won't necessarily give you very strong orgasms. Gratias Ago Vas Pro Venom The first time I tried to have sex (tried being the operative word here) the guy couldn't get inside of me because I was too tight. Prior to having sex all I'd had inside of me was 2 of his fingers and tampons. So the next day we tried again and he could fit inside of me, but he had to really slow down, and be very gentle. And even then I still bled a bit and it was very painful for me. What was in your v****a before is actually irrelevant. A p***s fits inside a v****a just fine even if nothing has ever been in that v****a before. The whole "you have to stretch your v****a out in preparation for sex" thing is just another myth. That myth started when so many girls experienced pain their first time. Then they noticed less pain each time after that. Keep in mind there was a time when sex was not discussed as freely as it is now, and there weren't internet forums to ask questions on. So the girls just assumed they needed to have sex a couple times, get "stretched out" or "looser," then they'd be able to enjoy sex. But the truth is, most of them were just nervous, tense, not fully aroused, or not properly lubricated their first time. The v****a stretches quite a bit and can snap right back into place. Having a baby can permanently stretch your v****a, but having sex won't. Neither will fingers and tampons. So even though penises, fingers, and tampons have been in my v****a, since I have never had a baby, my v****a is actually the same size as it was before all that stuff ever went into my v****a. Lubrication, relaxation, and arousal are the key. So if you felt pain, it probably wasn't an issue of size. You were probably just lacking in at least one of those three other areas.
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Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 8:49 pm
Personally, I felt no pain my first time. I was even tense and kinda scared, but I didn't feel any pain, just the pressure from him entering. The pressure was just where I was tense, undoubtably. I think the whole "omahgawd it hurts!" myth is something that needs to be busted. (Haha, new episode! MythBusters: Does Losing Your Virginity Hurt/Stretch You?... That would raise hell in the parental community.)
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Posted: Sun Jan 18, 2009 9:40 pm
It didn't hurt for me the first time either. Nothing annoys me more than when girls say it WILL hurt and it WILL bleed the first time. Neither was true for me. And I think it makes people unnecessarily nervous when they hear things like that. Lately I've been seeing a lot of this going around in the Life Issues forum of another avatar site. I've tried saying that it's not true but I don't think people have paid attention to my posts. I'm glad I knew enough that I was not expecting pain. I will say though that we had trouble fitting it in. I'm not really sure why this was since I wasn't nervous or anything.
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 3:05 pm
@Vicki: I hear ya, sorta recently I was posting to a girl about how sex shouldn't hurt, and somebody replied to me saying that my v****a must be like ten miles wide. ¬.¬ But that sort of misinformation is why this guild was created, so all we can do is try and spread the truth. My older sister never really discussed sex with me, but I want my younger sister to be as prepared as possible, so I tell her lots that she probably doesn't want to know, but will help her out.
I think I felt like sex was uncomfortable for me the first time, we were doing it really slowly for about 45 minutes and neither of us orgasmed, but I think it just felt weird more than anything else. I have definitely gotten used to it though. XP
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 9:08 pm
I didn't bleed or have pain the first time either. I'm not sure if it as because I'm the kinda person who produces a lot of lubricant, or if it was because I loved to masturbate and was comfortable with what I was feeling even though it was with a boy instead of just by myself. But it was definitely a relief not to experience the pain so many people say will happen.
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Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 4:15 pm
I think that you should slowly use 2 fingers and you might get somewhere. If he is going to insert make sure he does it gently and slowly.
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