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 Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:03 pm
Seeing as this is a 'Help' forum, and I have an issue,
I'm going to actually post it.
It may be a long story, and I'm not giving all the details,
because it would take too long, and for other reasons.
Well, I'll try to make it short. There's a girl, we can call her James.
-Yes, I know it's a guys name.-
We dated for a few days as a bet. Then she asked me out for real.
I said yes, but only as a little personal experiment.
It turned out pretty...
Well, you'll see.
So basically, she loves me beyond love.
And I don't feel the same way.
And I do feel like I shouldn't break it off.
Technically, we aren't together, but it's like on and off.
I'm leading her on. A lot, really. I can't help it, and I don't know
When I'm doing it, but I am. I shouldn't. But I have been.
We talk for hours per day, though I've been doing less.
-Sorry, I'm being quite scattered-
So I do love her, but more like...a sister? No, it's more than that,
but it's sisterly/friendly more so than anything else.
She thinks...that we're
Well I can't say it. I feel like a jerk for being so misleading.
So we've talked about things like kids and where we'll live,
but i wasn't being totally serious. I'm ******** 14. I don't know
anything yet. I have a strong hope that something will change
with me, so that I'll be okay with this. I'll get more mature
or something, and I'll feel the same way. I think it's only
because I'm kind of being pushed into this. Like, She isn't
trying or anything, but I'm, I guess, too young for something
like this. She moves fast, and I don't know what I do. So I'm
basically too confused to know what I want. I can't even think
straight about the subject. There's this quote, not exact, but
"Never let go of someone that you find it impossible to not
think about for one day" That was off...but basically, if you
can't not think about somebody for even a day, then they must
mean something important. I just can't figure out what she
means. There's a lot more details and such, but I think that
this is too long...so I guess do what you can. Thanks, all.
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Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:10 pm
I would suggest explaining to her how you feel, and that it was just a fling or something. [That's probably not the words you should use.] Tell her that you want to be friends for now, untill you figure out what you want from life and yourself...
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Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:14 pm
Eh. She'd get quite sad. I can't tell her I was just messing around...
though I'm sure she's done it before...
Ugh. thanks =/
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Posted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 10:03 pm
Well, you can't just say it like that, you have to slowly break it to her. Like, talk to her about how you feel just awful, and you want her to be happy. But you don't know how you feel right now. Make her feel good about herself, and make sure she knows' your upset that you might be hurting her feelings.
And, tell her that in the future, once you find what you want and she's still interested, you might try again. If might isn't in there though, it'd probably get sticky.
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Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:02 am
dde , i get where ur coming frm . i've been in a situation like this myself where
the girl is very "serious" sweatdrop && i was just messing around . but i stayed with her && eventually things
worked out fr me nice && we're still tgether biggrin . but the main thing is to be honest to her about things .
&& i knw that is superhard but avoiding or leading her on wont do u any good .
it'll just mke her like u mre && when u cnt cope anymore , it'll be harder to push her away . so yeah ,
good luck man (:
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Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:35 pm
I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
Thanks =] I'll just...drop hints about how I'm unsure and blabla.
It'll work out, I hope.
Mischief managed.
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:24 pm
A lot of the times hints won't help. As horrible as it may be you will have to tell her that you don't have the same feelings for her. That you love her as a friend or sister. It is unfair to both of you if you act as if you love her. because as time passes it will be more difficult for her to let go of you. She will get over it. sure she will be sad when you tell her but she will get better. If you wait a year or two then she will probably fall into a deep depression and you might too if you keep this thing going. It sucks but the faster you get it over with the better it will be. Good luck.
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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:55 pm
trust me, they either ignore hints of unsureness or try to make you sure... or they get all emo- status and threaten to kill themselves and all, but that's a different story and i don't wanna scare you.
you're young so your lucky! explain to her that you love her but that you don't think you're quite ready for a serious relationship. she'll hate you. but only for a while. she'll get over it. girls do. she'll have feelings for you or she'll hate you forever. it all relies on how you explain taht you love her but only as a friend. good luck.
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:07 pm
there's no sure way of knowing if she'll get hints. the bestthing to do for both of you is to just tell her how you feel in plain english.
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Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:04 pm
the_forgotten_thought trust me, they either ignore hints of unsureness or try to make you sure... or they get all emo- status and threaten to kill themselves and all, but that's a different story and i don't wanna scare you. you're young so your lucky! explain to her that you love her but that you don't think you're quite ready for a serious relationship. she'll hate you. but only for a while. she'll get over it. girls do. she'll have feelings for you or she'll hate you forever. it all relies on how you explain taht you love her but only as a friend. good luck. Thanks.
She wouldn't hate me. She'd act sad and weird for awhile, but she could never hate me. I'm just going to wait anyway, because I can't talk to her. We aren't technically together, so if she asks me back out, I'll just say no. She'll eventually get it...hopefully I won't hurt her too badly.
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:18 pm
every thing passes with time. if you rejecther, she'll definately be hurt, and it might damage your relationship with her, which i think you want to keep, right? if so, talking to her is the best thing you can do to let her know how you feel without too much hurt or damage to the relationship.
don't be afraid to talk to her.
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:50 pm
I solemnly swear I am up to no good.
Thanks =]
She talks about 'us' a lot
and hooks up with lots of people
we aren't together, but she plans on
us being soon. idk why not, but its good.
I'm telling her little by little, with hints and
stuff. She's getting it, haha.
Mischief managed.
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:30 pm
it's great that she's getting the hints, and i hope things go well for you. however that doesn't mean the issue is necessarily resolved. you really should talk to her about it directly.
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