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 Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 1:04 am
 "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." - Anais Nin
 The sharply feminine handwriting betrayed the turmoil experienced by its owner as letters ran together and words were scribbled out, the agitation couldn't have been more transparent.Sani Well it seems that Cat-kin are capable of mothering instincts after all. I haven't slept in almost three days (thats about a week for a human). I'm anxious, and curious. My nerves are tingling, I know that she's not telling me something. She's been slipping away without telling me too often for my comfort, in fact she's gone now... Oh I can't even write my senses are so in a tangle. ((Scribbled portions are smaller... the strike coding doesn't work so I shrunk it))
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 4:48 am
 ((All about the Day Saniya became a beautiful Teenager: Quotes from Home Base RP. I took extreme liberties with the first two posts))  Saniya Saniya slipped from the house, carrying a basket of colorful stones and a few that sparkled lovingly in the mid morning light, moving to the pond she sank to the ground with a gentle sigh, not bothering to tug her skirt straight as no one was looking. The water child gazed on her masked reflection in the new ponds surface, then began dropping the pretty tumbled stones into the mirror like surface, each splash lightening her heart as the music only she could hear tantalized her senses. Closing her eyes she enjoyed it a moment longer, dropping another stone, then another, imagining fish living in the shadowed depths of the spring, her eyes turned up, simply enjoying the time by herself, with the water... Kasai Later the day Cin discovered his injuries Kasai snuck out the back door of the house, intent on his meeting with Fauve, though he was suppose to be resting. Cin kept telling him how serious broken ribs where and although they hurt alot he felt that he would live through it. Walking toward the small pond he saw that he wouldn't be the only one there. Sadly the thought to himself it wasn't Fauve by the pond but Saniya. He really should talk to her he thought his change hadn't been the nicest by far. Hello Sani. Kasai says walking toward the pond. Saniya Sani looks up, closing her fist arround the stone she had been about to drop, 'Kasai... What are you up to?' Fighting with herself to maintane the friendly tone, she tucks her skirt arround her legs. Kasai Kasai winced slightly and sat down on the ground by the pond, I am not really up to anything at the moment. But I did want to apologize about how I acted when I grew...it was like I wasn't myself for that time. Kasai looked into the pond, we should get some fish for this thing sometime. Saniya Softening Sani tilted her head at him, She really didn't know how to accept his apology so she smiled... 'You're bigger than Cinderfae now... you could bully her into taking you to get fish.' She looked up at him, returning the stone to her basket. Hoping that Kasai would understand that she was willing to accept the apology. Kasai Kasai wasn't sure if he and Sani were alright with each other or not right now. But he decided until she said something otherwise that he would assume the best. Hearing the comment about Cin Kasai laughed, I might be a little bit taller but she will still kick my butt. But now that I have grown she seems more willing to teach me to hunt and fish. Seeing Sani put her pebble back in the basket he added, Did I disturb you? Saniya Amused she shook her head, 'No, I just needed to be close to the water.. if feels good. Its probably the same with you and fire.' Pushing her hair back over her shoulder she turned to him... 'I just thought of something... do you think we could catch fish from the lake and put them in the pond? Little ones? Or is it a dumb idea?' Pleased with the neutral topic, she settled back leaning on one of her arms. Kasai Kasai thought a moment, I don't see why we wouldn't be able to put fish from the lake in here...but we might have to feed them. Because this doesn't have all the plants and stuff that the lake does. The lake isn't far from here either so it would probably be easy to get the fish. Kasai leaned back on his hands letting his side stretch. Saniya Sani nodded thinking on it for a minute. Still unsure of Kasai, but pleased with the company... 'We would need barbless hooks.... or we'd need to scare them into a bucket or something...' She looked up at him... 'Thats all there is to it... I mean we can always seed plants into the water for them.... I just don't know how we would catch the fish without hurting them.' She looks a little lost. Kasai Kasai thinks a moment, nets! we could get nets...I bet if we asked some of the guardians they could tell us where to get some. Even though the task of catching the fish wasn't a hard one it still was nice to have his mind taken off of all the problems that he had been having lately. As for putting plants from the lake in the pond we might be able to transplant the plants that grow in the shallows into buckets and carry them here. Kasai nodded as if thinking, I am not sure about how the plants would take to the bottom of the pond though...maybe we could get some of those ones that float on top the water too. Saniya Utterly thrilled with his solution she started nodding. 'A little sea weed and the water lillies, I love the lillies...' looking at the little pond she thought about it.. 'Maybe my guardian has a book on the plants. I'm sure it wouldn't take more than two buckets, the lillies in one, and the sea weed in the other should be plenty.' Sani was so happy, she decided then and there, Kasai wasn't all bad. Kasai Kasai smiled, actually I know someone that can help us...and we won't even have to open a book. Kasai started the painful task of standing up, Cin doesn't mind if I use Mycroft for information gathering and I am betting he has something about underwater plants in his databases. Saniya Sani blinked with concern seeing the pain staking way he moved, she climbed to her own feet. 'Mycroft is that wrist computer right?' Her excitement got the better of her, but the question she really wanted to ask was written in her concerned gaze. Kasai Kasai followed Sani's gaze to his side, Don't worry about my side, it is healing. Cin fussed over the wound earlier today and I am assured that I will be better soon. Yeah Mycroft is the computer thing...you haven't seen him as a hologram yet have you? Kasai started toward his house, carefully not explaining how his side had gotten hurt. Saniya Saniya moved quickly to keep up with the older masque. 'No I haven't.' Kasai Kasai opened the door to the house wide hoping that Cin was asleep herself since he was suppose to be resting. Looking around inside he decided his luck was holding out when he didn't see his guardian anywhere. Strolling forward he grabbed a keyboard off of the work bench and typed some information in, after a few moments an older gray haired gentleman appeared."Hello, I haven't seen you for sometime." Mycroft leans against a table and looks through the doorway at Sani, "You two are going to try and move water plants...I think I may have something in my databases about them. There are some planets that are all water and when there the information that I have can be invaluable." Mycroft takes up a stance as if thinking.Shaking his head slightly Kasai smiles and clips a device to his belt, With this device Mycroft will be able to come with us in his hologram form. Stopping a moment longer Kasai grabs a few buckets that are laying by the door, Looks like we have everything we need. Saniya Saniya is a little stunned by the detail of the hologram, she blinks at Kasai, then shakes it off... 'I can carry one of those is you want.' Trailing after him she tugged the door closed in near silence, having noticed his cautious glance. 'Cinderfae didn't want you to leave did she?' Kasai Kasai shrugged, Yeah Cin thinks I should be sleeping and healing up. I am just not very tired right now. Kasai handed one of the buckets to Sani, now to get the plants from the lake. If you want to talk to Mycroft just use this. From his pocket Kasai pulled a device that looked like a remote covered in letters. Just ask for it and I will let you use it. Kasai started toward the lake. Saniya Sani nodded... 'As long as your ok,' She picked up the pace a little in excitement.. 'Do you think this will really work?' Heading off towards the path that lead to the lake. Knowing that with his longer stride, even injured he wouldn't have trouble keeping up.. Kasai Kasai laughed, Yeah I am fine and I think it will really work.Mycroft walks keeping pace with the two masques looking at his surroundings as he does.After the three had walked for some time Kasai paused a moment and pointed ahead of them, right up there is the lake. I think that there are some shallows on the far side over there. Kasai points to an area at the south of the lake. Saniya Sani nods give a good look, 'I'm not afraid to do a little swimming' Theres a cheerful not to her voice, 'I think the lillies are only in the deeper water. Do you wanna get those?' Kasai Kasai looked out at the water with the lillies, the water was deep. Now he really wasn't afraid of water he didn't mind the bathtub or even the smaller pond near the colony. But Kasai really didn't know about being in water so deep. Looking around Kasai spied a small boat near the shore, Well I don't mind you swimming to get the lillies but what if something happens to you? I wouldn't want you to drown.... Saniya Sani looked out at the water again, uncertain. 'I'll try, if its too deep, I'll just come back up.' Looking up at Kasai, 'If your there I shouldn't drown.' Setting her bucket down Sani pulled her hair back and began to loosely braid it like Trivii had the day before. A little nervous but not allowing it to show, she knew Kasai wouldn't let her drown. 'I think we can get the lillies after the weed... do you think Mycroft could figure out the best way for us to do this? Kasai Kasai nods slightly listening to the younger Masque, Alright just be careful and if you start having problems in the water call out to me as soon as possible. Kasai looked out at the deep water of the lake and shivered, he didn't like this at all. The water was deep and just standing near it he felt as if it was trying to reach up and cover him so he can't escape.
Let me check with Mycroft about how to transfer the plants. Pulling the remote he had put in his pocket earlier he started typing things into it. Saniya Sani nodded, studdying the placid water, starting to control her breething, no reason to be nervous.. She tied off her seafoam braid with a rubber band from arround her wrist. Then self consciously Sani started looking for the seeming shollowest place the lillies were growing trying to map how she would get to them. Looking back at Kasai she knew he was starting to get uneasy, 'Its alright, I think there's a patch only about ten feet from the shore by where Galilee and Zahar were teaching me to fish. I should be safer there right? We can take that boat you pointed out.' Kasai Kasai nodded and grabbed the boat edge of the boat by the shoreline pulling it toward them. Ladies first, he says smiling. For the lillies we just have to keep them in the water and they should be alright. For the plants on the bottom of the lake we will need to put some gravel and stuff in the bucket. When we transplant them we need to put the gravel and stuff in with them so they can stay anchored and have time to grow into the bottom of the pond. Kasai took one of the buckets and added some stones to it with sand and gravel like Mycroft's information had said to. Then he placed the bucket for the lillies in the boat and got in once Sani was ready. Saniya Sani nodded and would have blushed at the gallant gesture, though fortunately her mask hid her embarassment and slipping in ahead of Kasai, she replayed the instructions silently to herself. 'So I just have to find the root mass.... that shouldn't be too difficult.' Straightening her skirt she crossed her ankles, then in a slightly unsure way, 'Which should we get first?' deferring the decission to the fire masque. Kasai Kasai looked at the lake a moment and then at the boat, We should probably wade out to get the ones in the shallows first. So when you go after the lillies we will be able to get you dried off and not have to mess with the water anymore. With that said Kasai unlaced his boots and slipped them off, so we don't need the boat yet, sorry about that. Stepping into the water Kasai let his fear rise a moment before gathering it under control. He had been in water before but again it seemed like this huge expanse of lake would suck him in, as an after thought he tossed Mycroft on one of the towels on the shore - Cin would kill him if he messed up Mycrofts circuits. Saniya Sani shook her head and dropped over the other side of the boat, moving slow so she could see the water plants when they came into view.. 'Its alright Kasai... I don't think we need many... 10 little plants should take care of the entire pond.' She knew they had something of an agreement about them each collecting sepparately, but she could tell that he was probably as uncomfortable as she would have been standing next to a burning house... and she was sort of begining to like the guy. So she would spare him from spending to much time in the lake if she could. Kasai Kasai bent down and touched the stem of one of the water plants feeling along the stem he moved the pebbles and sand aside. Reaching down deep he felt for a moment, I think I found the roots on this one. Gently he pulled the plant up from the water, smiling at his accomplishment he put it in the bucket covering the roots back up with the sand. Even though the lake was by far one of the most uncomfortable places he had ever been in, he found the collection of the plants to be some what soothing. Saniya Sani had her face in the water in no time, feeling up the little weeds, digging her fingers into the sand in order to pull out as much root as possible, when she cam up with her first set she blinked at the odd looking thing then happily moved over to deposit it in the bucket with its foster sibling, cover the roots with a smooth hand gesture. 'This shouldn't take long at all...' Kasai Kasai grinned watching the slim water girl pull the plants from the lake, she had several in the bucket by the time he had just gotten one in. Then again he reasoned he was being hampered since he was trying to touch the water as little as possible. Pulling the last plant that they would need free he looks over to Sani, Looks like that is the last of them, now off to get the lillies, Mycroft says we shouldn't transplant too many of them since they grow quickly. We don't want them to take the pond over. Saniya Observing Kasai's good humor she shook her head and moved slowly back to the boat. Not even noticing the chill of the water until her skin touched air, she attempted to tug herself in without over turning the boat, a failed effort. she decided to go around to more shallow water first, and while trudging she replied. 'So if I get one plant we should be good?' Kasai Kasai nods, Yeah one plant should be good, and the rest will come with time. According to the text that Mycroft brought up we might have to thin out the lillies ourselves if we don't put enough things in the pond that will use them as food. Kasai once again grabbed the boat holding it steady he gestured for Sani to climb in, I'll sit at the front and row out there. Saniya Sani climbed in weighed down slightly by her wet dress... 'Alright... so we plan on thinning the lillies...' glancing over at the patch she would be diving into, she exhailed slowly.. 'How deep do you think it's going to be?' Uncertain she looked up at Kasai as he started to row. Kasai Kasai thought a moment, it depends on the lilly you go for. Go after one of the smaller ones and you should be ok. They aren't as old so their roots aren't very long. If you don't think you can reach them just swim up, don't worry about it. And if you need help call out, I won't be comfortable in the water but I will jump in and get you. Kasai looked Sani in the eyes as he said the last part hoping the girl realized the seriousness of what he was saying. Saniya She blinked and just looked at him for a minute.. well aware of how he must feel when litterally over his head in the water, and touched by his offer. Tossing her sopping braid back off her shoulder she nodded. 'I-I beleive you would... thank you Kasai.' Sincerely tempted to hug him she shyly refused to.. 'I just don't remember ever having occasion to hold my breath very long...'
Mentally shaking herself, Sani smiled up at him and turned to watch the lillies come closer to the boat. Shielding her eyes and scanning them for the youngest looking plant seeing that it appeared to be a few feet from the rest, its pad not yet unfurled and still safely under water, she squinted to see if she could see the bottom. Nodding when she saw what looked like the rest of the plant... still very deep, but not unthinkable. 'Look there.' She pointed for Kasai.. 'I think thats our best shot.' Kasai Kasai rowed toward where Sani had pointed, personally he could never think of his element, fire hurting him. He wondered if Sani was able to drown and then decided he didn't want to really know, leaning over the side of the boat he looked down at the plant. It seemed as if it went on forever, be careful it looks very deep, if something happens don't panic let yourself float to the top and call to me. Kasai gripped the side of the boat his knuckles turning white with anticipation, he knew that he would try to help Sani if something happened, but what if something happened to him. Saniya She tossed him an unsure smile, 'I'm just being silly... I'm not scared... not really, I love my element... I'm just that excited kind of nervous... I can't remember the last time I was fully submerged outside of a bath tub...' Even with her mask, she had the funny suspiscion he knew she was blushing.
So drawing in a deep breath she stepped up onto the back of the boat, counting on his weight to keep it from over turning, she hopped and turned head first with surprising grace, punching through the waters surface as natural as a dolphin. Kicking with all the strength in her legs to fight her bodies natural bouyancy (sp) the water didn't even sting as she opened her eyes, it some how felt natural. Following the long stem of the young lilly for about 12 feet, she wrapped her hand arround the base as the light headed feeling hit her and she released a little bit of air. Shoving her hand into the muck arround the plant she managed to grip a sturdy hand in the roots, and right herself so her feet were on the lakes bottom... Thinking to Kasai, 'I have it, I just have to pull it up...'
Then with a few sturdy yanks and a bit of a fight she managed to pull it out by the roots and shove off, emptying her lungs instinctively on her way to the surface... and it was a long ways, when she finally broke the surface she was about 5 feet from the side of the boat and gasping for breath she rolled onto her back allowing herself to float. the lilly held firmly in her left hand. 'I did it..' she was stunned... 'didn't I?' Kasai Kasai watched the water girl dive into the water nervously he ticked off the seconds that she was under the water. When he heard her say she just had to pull it up he hoped that she would be able to, seeing Sani break the surface Kasai let out a laugh of relief. She was ok, Yes you did it! Kasai rowed the boat closer to her and grabbed the bucket. Here I am going to put the bucket in the water, just lay the roots in the bucket, now we just have to put the plants in the pond. Once they are in there we should be able to get working on the fish.
Securing the paddles to the side of the boat Kasai grabbed the bucket and gently submerged it in the water. He held it steady waiting for Sani to lay the roots of the lilly inside of it. Saniya Turning over she nodded feeding first the roots into the water, then the shorter vine like growths... giving him a look she went ahead and broke off the longest one, then pushed away from the bucket to grab the side of the boat, her side was aching, but she felt acomplished... 'Just a few fish.. I don't want Cinderfae to get out of taking you to get one...' Allowing her shyly teasing tone softened her remark..
'Us I mean... hopefully I'll be allowed to come.. It is our pond' The thought of sharing that with her perfect opposite and new friend had her smiling, as she shifted her grip, and started to haul herself into the boat getting stuck about half way as she started shivering.... silently she cursed the wind and she finished climbing aboard. Sani was cold. But happy. Kasai Kasai pulled the bucket up as quickly as he could, now that it was filled with water the bucket was much heavier. Making sure that Sani had gotten in the boat already Kasai set the bucket carrying the lilly in the very center of the boat. Then looking over he sees Sani shivering ever so slightly, the wind is going to chill you to the bone here take my jacket it should keep you warm until we get to the shore. Lets get the plants back to the pond for now and then I will recruit Cin into taking us fishing. Kasai opened his jacket up so Sani could put her arms in the sleeves, and don't worry about getting it wet, it will dry out soon enough. Saniya She moved over and slowly slid the warm jacket on, greatful. 'Thank you Kasai... I guess I should have thought to bring one myself' she looked down at her dress.. she flicked her eyes over to study the new plants... 'I think we'll have fun getting the fish...' In her minds eye she could see what the pond would look like with all the plants, and fish, and her eyes turned up happily. 'Will miss Cinderfae be alright taking both of us?' in her uncertainty she slipped into formal address, really not thinking about it.. as she settled back for the return trip enjoying the warmth that seemed to be a part of the jacket itself... Kasai Kasai concentrated on getting the boat headed in the right direction and then once he had it going the right way allowed himself to relax a moment and speak with Sani, no worries I do have a towel up by the shore, it might not be enough to dry you all the way off though. We should be back to camp soon though, so you will have a chance to change if you want.
Hearing Sani wonder about Cin Kasai smiled, I don't think she will mind at all. She also seemed to get along with your guardian pretty well maybe we could make it a group trip. I know we aren't going to be getting alot of fish but the nets I am guessing might be pretty heavy, so having more people will probably be better. Kasai nodded in what he hoped was a reassuring manner toward Sani, as he did that he realized they had reached the shore. Climbing out of the boat he pulled it up on the shore and then picked the bucket up out of it. Once he layed the bucket on the shore Kasai turned and made a slight bow to Sani, winking he held a hand out to her to help her get out of the boat. Saniya Sani eyed the gallant young man and wondered covertly if he just enjoyed her embarassment, accepting his hand out of the boat, she made the awkward transition to the shore.. 'If we catch any larger fish we could always have a nice dinner too... maybe we could pit roast them... you know burry them wrapped in foil, then build a bonfire on top and let them cook all day, then dig them up... the meats real tender...' She smiled, happily up at him... 'that way we could have both out elements in the same place...' She waited to help with one of the buckets, genuinly surprised by what was becoming an easy topic. Kasai As Kasai helped her on to the shore, he realized how graceful she was and wondered if it had something to do with her element. Kasai found the friendship he had with Sani refreshing, it was nice to have a friend who didn't suspect he was recreating mistakes from the past. He smiled slightly as she stepped on the shore realizing her embarressment, the gods help anyone that tried to make this little girl unhappy, because at that moment Kasai decided that he wouldn't allow anyone to get away with that.
These buckets look like they are going to be heavy, I think I can manage them, but I won't be able to carry Mycroft or the towel. Do you want to grab Mycroft and the other things and have me get the buckets? Kasai tested the weight on the two buckets as he talked to Sani. Saniya Sani bowed her head, 'Just let me know if you want to set them down.. I could probably carry one for a little bit anyways....' peaking up at him she collected Mycroft and the towel... 'Do you want you jacket back yet? I should be okay now.' She walked backwards a few steps, unable to quite believe anything that had happened in the past hour or so, it had been wonderful... there seemed to be a lack of expectation in their relationship that was just grand... It felt equal and fair. Kasai Kasai grinned down at Sani as he hefted up the buckets, naw keep the jacket until we get back to the pond. It would probably just get in my way, Kasai then started forward toward the trail that lead back to camp. Looking over his shoulder he made sure that Sani was keeping up, the buckets strained his arms but he didn't want to walk to quickly for her. Once we get to the pond we can get all the plants transplanted and then later on the fish.
Kasai pondered the last few hours as they walked, it seemed strange to him to be so comfortable with someone aligned with an element that seemed so alien to him. The way they had been able to work together made him happy though, like he was learning more about the world. Realizing that he had been learning from someone technically younger then him, Kasai decided not to share his thoughts, Sani probably would think it was stupid.
Kasai had been lost in his thoughts for a while, he realized this as he saw the camp in the distance. We're almost there, now that he could see the camp he started to feel the weight of the buckets more then ever, I can't wait to get to the pond. These things are getting heavy, remembeing Sani's worry over helping he added, I can make it the rest of the way to the pond with no problem though. Saniya Sani was moving along slightly behind him, her pace as quick as it had been on the way to the lake ever mindful of the heavy buckets, though she was content with the silence and didn't attempt polite conversation.
Startled to hear his voice she glanced up Kasai, 'You can walk a little faster, I might not be able to keep up, but I won't be far behind. Kasai Kasai nods back at Sani and takes long strides until he reached the edge of the pond. Laying the buckets down he rotated his shoulders, it had been a bit of an endurance walk to get the buckets here. Looking over the edge of each at the plants inside, at least it looked like the plants had made it back alright.
Taking a seat on the ground he leans back on his arms closing his eyes slightly and waits for Sani. Later on he would find Fauve and maybe they could talk some more, but whenever they talked it always seemed so difficult and tangled up, for now he could enjoy doing these menial tasks and not worry about that. Saniya Saniya watched him quicken his pace, and took a moment to stretch herself before hurrying after him, at a gentle jog. It only took about five minutes for her to join Kasai at their pond. Once she was there she sank down across from him and exhailed. Loose seafoam tendrils stuck to the sides of her mask from her dunk in the lake. 'Lets rest a minute, you could probably use it.' she nodded to the buckets as she began loosening her braid into locks held by tiny tangles. Kasai Kasai nods, lets start putting the plants in after a few moments. Straightening up Kasai looks down at the pond, it looks quite deep in center do you think we should just put the plants that go on the bottom near the edges? Kasai didn't want to admit it but even the little pond was starting to look a bit frightening, it was probably because he had been around a big body of water earlier on, he thought to himself. To him being around fire was like breathing and if he stepped into the water too much he wouldn't be able to breath anymore. Saniya Sani blinked and turned to lean over the pond... 'The sea weed at the edges... but we should really try to plant the lilly in the deeper area.' Honestly she hadn't realized just how deep it was, gazing down into the hypnotic depths she reached over to catch herself on the side of the pond so she could get a better idea of how the plants should go in the water.
The side was less stable and more clay like than she had anticipated and before her body could compesate she was going into a head long somersault plunge, 'Ahh!' the back of her head caught the side of the pond and everything went black. Moments later the water element masque was an unconscious teen in the pond.. which was indeed deeper than it appeared. Kasai Kasai stood up quickly when Sani splashed into the water, trying to keep himself dry he turned as he jumped. Expecting to see Sani swimming and looking a little surprised, his gaze turned to worry when he saw her laying in the pond. From where he was standing Kasai could tell something was different just not what it was. Moving as quickly as his sore muscles would let him Kasai waded into the pond, moving Saniya's seagreen hair out of his way he gasped slightly when he saw her. She had grown, gathering the girl up in his arms his first thought was to get her out of the water so she didn't drown. Once on the shore he looked around and realized at the moment he appeared to be the only one around. With a moment to think about where he should take her Kasai had time to look a Saniya, really look at her. With her hair tangled around her mask and clinging to his arm, and her clothes drenched, Kasai had to admit she was beautiful. Pushing aside the thought that he was carrying a lovely drenched teen girl in his arms Kasai went toward his home. He didn't know where Trivii and Saniya lived and didn't want to keep her out in the wind.
Kicking the door to the house open Kasai walked in to find himself face to face with Cin, his guardian didn't looked pleased with him. But he was greatful to see that her look of angry turned to that of worry when she saw who he was carrying in her arms. She grew, she grew and fell in the pond.Cin's eyes were wide when she saw Kasai carrying a much older looking Saniya in his arms. Deciding that lecturing Kasai on his need for rest and the badness of sneaking out could wait for later Cin gestured toward the couch. "Put her on the couch, I'll go grab some towels. Also you better go find Mycroft once we get her woken up, he will be mighty pissed if I have to reboot him from back up files." With that said Cin turned on her heel and went into the back of the house to round up some towels. As quickly as he dared Kasai laid Saniya onto the couch. Straightening her arms and dress a little after he had placed her down he sat on the edge of he couch and brushed some hair from her face. She really was lovely he thought and as he covered her more with a blanket he had to admit she was rather well endowed as well. Gulping slightly at the thought Kasai stood up from the edge of the couch, still standing next to her he gazed down and wondered what this could mean. 
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Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:11 am
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." - Plato
I can't stand it, there's an odd energy in the air. Definately electric. And I haven't seen Sani most of the Day. I need to find her, and find out whats going on. Because somethings happened and I don't know if thats a good thing.
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2005 1:07 am
"It is never too late to become what you might have been." - George Eliot
In gracefull curves and elegant slopes the once childish hand has become controlled, and less hesitant, the angle of the letters shows that the writer has grown in confidence as the page appears to have been filled quickly.
I don't know how long I slept, what I do know is that something happened when I fell into the pond, and I started to remember. I know I doubted that I ever would remember anything and I was afraid that I might not like what I did remember. But in all honesty its just so confusing, I'm stagered by it.
Whats more I woke up on Kasai's couch. I'm just greatful that I was alone and no-one saw my dash away from civilization, and so I sit, quite distressed and so confused I can't stand it, out in the middle of the woods. I have no notion as to where I am, and honestly I think its very important that I be alone now.
I grew, I became a teenager, though I admit the sudden way it happened has left me feeling slightly ill. The memories stole my very breath though I can't make head nor tails of them. Everything has changed so much.. But that isn't true, nothing has changed, and everyone are just the people that were here when I fell. I'm the one who has changed, and I'm not sure how or why.
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Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2006 9:54 pm
Going to the ruins would wait a little longer, getting to know Ash and maybe laying eyes on her past, understanding, knowing, and maybe remembering more. Would have to wait. Learning about what now had only just come to haunt her, distract her waking hours and stalking her sleeping.
She could stay in the empty, cluttered home that was occupied by her guardian and Aricin. She could relax in the newly constructed building, alone. Alone had stopped being a word she cringed over sometime during the change that had taken her from child to teen, it was a change that had come with the memories, one of the only changes that hadn't come as an abusive mental blow.
Her life had always been isolated, drifting in the shadows and chaos of the princesses lives, living on the outskirts of the whimsy sisters notice and pranks. An observer that really only had a place when one of her cousins or a member of the court had been injured... back then she hadn't simply been alone, she had been invisible.
She much preferred this life, while no one knew her or really made the effort, it was somehow more welcoming than her luxurious life pre-curse. The one thing she really missed, was having a lover, Blitz had been to Aqua as Flame was to Whimsy today. That much she did remember in the barest sense, though she didn't know if that was a real memory or simply how she had wanted it to be.
Moving her hand under the faucet she tested the temperature of the water, pumped from an underground lake, filtered and distributed to all the homes, it was by far a simpler ordeal than it had been in years gone by. Saniya's aquamarine eyes tilted up at he corners in a smile visible through the mask, making an already simple luxury, completely artless.
Not that she would have minded having to draw her own bath. Those enchanting eyes sparkled with mirth as the Aqua teen unlaced and unbuttoned her dress, folding it neatly before dropping it on the counter; gathering her sea-foam hair on top of her head and clipping in place. Studying her reflection for a moment, she turned back to the nearly full steaming tub and shut off the water.
Stepping over the edge of the porcelain bath she exhaled slowly as her pale blue flesh was seared, first one leg, then the other and finally her entire body hit the water bringing it up to the rim of the large basin. It was warmer than she usually liked, but she knew that this very well could be her last opportunity to get clean for a little while yet, if everything happened as planned with Ash. So instead of cringing at the heat, she gloried in it, stroking the length of her legs as she moved them in and out of the water, droplets running down her silken skin like a paramours fingers might, then rejoining the pool as once again the limb was tucked into the water.
It was all embracing, it was completely comforting, most of all, it was a selfish small moment of pleasure and she knew she deserved it.... It was a change, taking something for herself, but in this life she was starting to understand that it was something she was going to have to learn to do more often, or else she would simply go back to being invisible... and she would never let that happen again.
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Posted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 10:31 pm
  Dear Diary,
This is my first real attempt at maintaining a journal, I haven't been very successful in the past, though you'll notice I have managed to record a few things:
- Notes Trivii scribbled in an effort to track her time on this world for posterities sake.
- Details about some of my days.
- An inventory of gifts I've received.
But all in all nothing overtly impressive. Just like my life, nothing impressive. Its difficult having so few memories of anything prior to meeting Trivii, it makes my already self conscious actions even more hesitant than before. Its difficult, to just be myself, I hate being alone. I hate being shy. I hate not having any friends.
I always feel so awkward, I try so hard to pretend that I know everyone, just so I can avoid stammering and that silly heat that creeps up my face... Probably the only thing that makes me grateful for this mask.
I need to become free, free of the prison that is my mind, free of the choked sense that has me guard my words, I want to be able to speak and act for myself... I want to be selfish, But I never am. And I think my lack of selfish concern is why I don't have friends, but who knows... after all if they can't like me for who and what I am, do I really want them to like me?
I think I do.
I'm being silly, and I know I am. I just can't help it, my life is cursed with a loving nature and a desire for acceptance. I'm blushing just putting my thoughts on paper. How pathetic is that?
Which brings me to the reason why I am trying to keep this Diary. I want more for myself, I know I can be strong, I know all I need is patience, and I know that its wrong to turn away any help thats offered. So I bought some books on a recent trip to the space station. Its ridiculous really, but they're Self Help and actualization books. I just hope that no one else finds out that I have them.
I need to take a proactive approach to mastering my fears. A Diary, not all that hard now right? I honestly think that I'll be stuck in this mask until I succeed.
 3rd Year After Colony(1st Entry)
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 1:56 am
Dear Diary,
Where do I begin? Most of the questions my books tell me I need to answer for myself don't seem relevant. For as far back as I can remember I’ve been an inwardly directed person. While some people like to think out loud, I prefer to process the world internally, answer my own questions, and come to a conclusion before speaking up.
So, first off, how can I answer someone else's questions in a way that makes my inner turmoil comprehensible? This personality trait has benefits and drawbacks. On the positive side, it’s a source of strength as an analytical thinker and the healer that I remember being. Without it I wouldn’t be who I am, and everything that I like about myself would cease to be.
On the downside, my tendency to keep everything inside is responsible for one of my major weaknesses. Shyness. I suppose I should back peddle a little and tap dance through history, well as much as I can remember anyway. But I don't think I'm ready for that.
So instead, we'll put my lovely analytical mind to work. According to one book Shyness can be caused by two things, Fear and Insecurity. Which boils down to the first time I wrote, it looks like its time I face me fears.
What am I afraid of?
When you associate speaking out with pain and embarrassment, you’ll do almost anything to avoid it. Is that why I have so many problems? Particularly when I might be the center of attention? Was I different before I lost my memories?
For some reason I don't think I was. From what I do remember I always felt like I was on the outside looking in, even before the curse. What's wrong with me, that I don't even know what I'm afraid of in order to over come it?
Maybe... Maybe I'm afraid that everyone else will think that there is something wrong with me. This needs more thought.
3rd Year After Colony(2nd Entry)
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 9:49 pm
Dear Diary,
I've done a little soul searching as winter is closing in on me, frosting the world like a wedding cake. I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling, after a little soul searching, I come back conflicted.
The Question: What am I afraid of?
The Answer: The only answer that makes much sense to me, I'm afraid of myself. I'm afraid of being noticed. I'm terrified of being different; maybe that's why I'm having so much trouble confronting my fears. How does one confront oneself?
By working at it.
The Question: If I were someone else how would I see myself?
The Answer: Without looking at the physical.... because looks aren't all that important. I would see a mouse. Quiet, unobtrusive, Mouse. Performing only as expected, taking the cheese from the trap... as expected. Intelligent and accepting.
Am I capable of being objective in my opinion of myself? I hope so. In considering myself I am at loss to find any large flaw that would alienate others. Maybe I'm not being honest, maybe I'm not really confronting that which I am most scared of, maybe I'm not really scared of myself so much as I am afraid of going unnoticed.
I don't think of myself as scared. I just have a hard time voicing my thoughts. Why should Water be afraid of making waves? How silly is that. You can't swim without getting wet. What is wrong with me?
I just have to breath and push forward, I didn't do so bad while I was talking to Nika. One of the things all those books I'm reading have in common is insisting that other people are basically the same. Everyone is insecure and afraid of embarrassment. Other people usually aren’t as smart as we think.
By and large, people are friendly and interested in connecting with others. They’ll respond favorably to attempts at communicating. In most cases, people will be thrilled that someone else took the initiative to break the ice.
I can do this. What am I afraid of?
3rd Year After Colony(3rd Entry)
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:42 pm
Dear Diary,
I know the whole point of this was to face my fear, but on a side thought, is being shy really a character flaw?
I was reading an article early this morning that addressed that question, and I got to thinking. In the column the author states that most shy people aren't really shy, just quiet. And that was starting to sound familiar.
Most people are mistaken as shy because they are quiet. Those who are shy usually know they are and don’t need it pointed out to them, and can resent when it is pointed out to them. I need a friend, just one really good friend who won't hesitate to ask what I'm thinking. But if I keep waiting for someone else to take the first step, I'll never make any friends.
Lets face it, I like who I am.... I just want other people to like me too. So I don't talk when I should, I act how others expect me to act i.e. I'm quiet and courteous. As the author stated "Being shy is NOT a character flaw. It is nothing to be ashamed of."
If the past few entries into this journal, I've been thinking and I realized that I like who I am. I don't need to change anything about me, I just need to become more confident in my actions.
Admittedly I hate blushing, but in human literature its often referred to as enduring. So the new question isn't "What am I afraid of?" but now its "How can I be more confident in my actions and speech?"
Am I being silly or should I keep focusing on my fear?
3rd Year After Colony(4th Entry)
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 6:26 pm
The sun had yet to rise on the frost kissed day over the Masquerade Colony. Most people had yet to rise for the day however Saniya gloried in these pre-dawn moments when everything was a wash of shadows and vulnerability. It was her favorite time of day no matter the season.
Dressing silently in the dusky light Sani pulled the snow white heavy silk tunic over free breathing wrap pants following with comfortable brocade slippers. The outfit was designed to compliment her flexibility, and while not at all her normal dress for the day, comfort of movement was more important.
Once she was dressed Sani stretched and could hear the music beginning, as feint as a tin whistle, just beyond her window; hypnotizing, enchanting, and calling her. So she straightened and slipped from the house into the darkness of pre-dawn, the caress of frost still in the air from the night before, Saniya moved purposefully towards the first structure of the colony, the covered area that had served as a commons for almost four years.
The ground crunched faintly beneath her feet as Saniya lengthened her dancer like stride, working to get her blood flowing in the cold air. She found the clear wood planked floor at the far end of the tables and breathing slowly she began her stretching.
Sitting on the ground with her legs crossed and spine stretched to its full length as though a string had been pulled taught starting at the crown of her head and ending at the tip of her tail bone. Feeling the world around her and focusing on the music that has always been a part of her life everything began to fade away, until it was just Saniya. The water in the air sparkled with life, sang beneath the earth as it raced through underground channels. Like the water in her body, flowing and throbbing a subtle drum beat that kept all the rest aligned.
She began to breath: slow, deep inhalation, expanding her chest and pulling her spine even more taught than before as she drew in air pulling her navel center toward the base of her spine. Using her hands to walk out until she was on hands and knees, Saniya carefully positioned her wrists and fingers she curled her back towards the ceiling, exhaled and enjoyed the feel of the stretch through her back as she rounded her spine.
Arching her back she controlled her breathing, she curled her back toward the ceiling, pressing her hips against the ground. Saniya relaxed drawing in deep breaths and exhaling slowly, she could feel the life and energy beginning to revive throughout her body. Finally as her muscles started to ache delicately she shifted into the next position.
Tucking her chin and drawing her knees beneath her body she allowed her head to hang loosely on her neck, sitting on her legs as the air stirred chill across her sweat slick pale skin. Coming with slow grace to her feet she felt her spin naturally aligning along the mystical energy string. The moving meditation glided in dance like movements, stretching her arms overhead she brought her palms together.
The moisture in the sky reacting to her fluid movements as snow drifted from the heavens, dancing bits of white lace fluttering to life in the air around her. The movements came to her naturally from lessons long forgotten, or too painful to remember. She counted out her breath sweeping her arms out to the side, allowing her heart to lead her movements, as if swan diving forward from a diving board. A long flex that that pulled all the strength of her lower back. She touched th palms of her hands to the ground between her feet, inhaling deep into her chest she slid her right leg back, lowering her knee to the ground.
Saniya had no difficulty swinging from one stretch into the dance of tendon and muscle that had her resembling the snow that danced in the air around her. Rolling back on her shoulders and serpentinely dropping her feet to the wooden planks bowing her back as she returned to her feet, breathing slowly and deep. Standing still just as the mid-winter sun kissed the colony.
The music that followed her at all times, stilled and became quiet ceding to the gentle hiss of the early snow fall. Saniya opened her eyes slowly, and embraced the enveloping peace, and the gentle musical strains clung to the distant edges of the morning.
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 7:37 pm
Dear Diary,
I have decided to take a step back and examin all the details that are leading me to over come my shyness. It was an odd sensation, realising that I might remember more than I realise. A few days ago I was going through my morning stretches and meditation and it occured to me. The routine is not something that I learned with Trivii.
Which is a thrill for me, because it means that its a memory, maybe not that I actively remember, but my body does. I even know why I meditate, its not just a conditioned habit. I do it for myself, it makes me feel relaxed and grounded, and I know that it can affect my health. I don't know why, and I don't remember who taught me, but some of the flurry of memories I gained after becoming a Teen are starting to make sense.
I think that its even helping me to understand my own mind.
3rd Year After Colony(5th Entry)
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:28 am
Dear Diary,
I Felt compelled to say a little something. Would love for it to be news that all is well, that I have made some leap in progress. But I believe that life has its balances. I was reading, no big surprise there, and like much of what I've been reading recently it rang true. In the study of Jungian Psychology each individual personality is divided into two opposing halves, the contracting forces of light and darkness.
The goal is "true expression."
A lot of people suggest an artistic medium, like paints or sculpture as the journey into creating is about lifting the veils from the aspects of self that have gone dormant and awakening to higher states of consciousness, awareness and expression.
Supposedly, as we break through fears and barriers, the inner spontaneous magic begins to flow. The creative process allows us to connect our hearts with our souls regardless of the ego's need to interpret and understand.
Creativity is about spiritual connection and is a laser tool for growth, transformation and healing symptoms.
There is never a right or wrong as we capture the magic of spontaneous self-expression. Creative projects help move symptoms through and facilitate the true expression of our soul as we heal. I'm not an artist, but I can understand spontaneity and why people take such pleasure from it.
Letting go of my Fear. Wasn't that what my original goal was? I think I have an idea.
3rd Year After Colony(6th Entry)
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:12 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:45 pm
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