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 Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:07 am
Having fallen from grace and returned to full userhood in a rather sudden and unexpected way, I have discovered an undeniable truth - and it is one of the major tenets of this faith.
Mods, no matter how they try to avoid it, slowly lose their userhood.
I myself didn't notice this fact until I was unable to be effective in what has been a consistant job for over a year. With no modly powers, I find myself in a place where many users are - concerned about the state of the forums, and the dread and helplessness that comes from knowing that the report system, with as few mods and as many users as Gaia has, spells disaster for all.
But despite my powerless state, I still think and act like a mod. I find myself unable to flame, and I still have compassion for both the newbie and the n00b. I report misplaced threads the moment I see them (pretending that the matter will always be resolved soon), and always write "I miss you guys". I've yet to get a response from anyone.
As I was fired from grace, and I did not choose my fate, as many burned out mods honestly did, I feel I'm in a limbo of sorts, unable to really deal with being a whole user. My heart is still a mod's heart, and though I could report a thousand threads, and though I could hunt down and catch dozens of cyberers, all I really want to do is to talk to my increasingly silent friends.
I remember when I used to be able to PM Lanzer and actually get a response.
Now I'm making reports and sitting in the hell that is the chatterbox wondering why I let myself fall so far. (all this because I chose to spend my hours with my finace rather than clearing my inbox of reports)
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Posted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:31 am
Dearest-
As much as we play at the value of the Forum, moderators, and even all of Gaia, the most important thing is the person. And the legitimate needs of the person. Although your choice had consequences (as all choices do), you made the right one, as it will ultimately be the most fulfilling for your soul.
I know you miss what you had, and given the small scope of what I do, I can't even imagine what the change must be like. But at the same time, you needed real contact, real love. And that part of your life is going to be more beautiful and rewarding than anything Lazner can offer.
I've had my battles just as a user, and lost every one. The balance that I was able to find was that I stopped worrying about the value of the forums in my gaian experience, but rather the people I've come to treasure. There's so many people I now look to as friends, a handful I've wished would be moreso. They're what keeps me enjoying the place.
As Gaia gets larger, the system they had in place for moderation is going to collapse, and collapse because of the success of Gaia. A tiny amount of people aren't going to be able to handle wave after wave of new users, especially with no real-world benefit to ensure commitment.
Enjoy the world. Enjoy the people you love. And anything you need, you have but to ask.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:14 pm
Thank you Romuel - that actually brought a tear to my eye. ::laughs at herself:: Thanks.
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