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Fuzzy Necromancer Captain
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 12:37 pm
Fat Vampires.
What do you think? Do they make sense within the conceptual framework? Vampires are usually described as slender and "conventionally attractive", sometimes even wiry and haggared, or uncannily thin, to go with their cadaverous pallor. Is it possible to get fat on a human plasma diet? It's true that the Size 1 Vampires get a lot more screentime, but then again most actors in general are narrow-built.
In MaryJanice Davidson's "Undead" series, most vampires look like movie stars, but the villain from the first novel is described as diametrically opposed to these visual expectations, balding and pudgy.
In the original Dracula, all the vampires were musclular or slender, but there were about five total in the entire book.
Can there be fat vampires? Can Vampires gain weight? What examples in established fiction and theories are there to point one way or the other? =o
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:12 am
I think that fat vampires are indeed possible. I know Anne Rice lore better than others and what intrigues me is that there is that possibility and yet it doesn't happen. Vampires stay in whatever physical appearance state that they are in when they are made, aside from physical injuries. So...in theory fat vampires are very likely. But the obstacle with that is the fact that vampires turn whoever they will. And the people in the Vampire Chronicles always turn other thin attractive people. Occasionally an old man or child is turned...or even a hermaphrodite...but even they are still described as attractive and thin or built. ~_~ *sighs* It makes me sad to think that I could never be turned by a vampire...unless he was a closet FA. lol
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Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 11:55 pm
WELL,
I'm going to restate what I said on your non-forums thread, but I'm going to add some other references to avoid boredom. Also, I am free to speak more specifically in reference to my own preferences without inciting a twelve-year-old trollocaust.
Actual mythological vampires tend not to be sexy. At all. Usually they are rotting corpses, or are pale, squishy and bald. The reason vampires are regarded as sexy, I think, is because they DO have a bizarre magnetism to them that makes them seductive and hypnotic. There's also that bizarre intermingling of eros an thanatos-- morbid things are, to a certain degree, arousing.
Ignoring the folkloric roots, I think modern vampires can probably be fat if they were before they were turned. But I'm almost positive they can't get fat off of blood. It just doesn't have enough nutritional value.
I have read of vampires becoming "bloated," usually as a result of gluttonous acts. Heinous ones, because they're killing more people than they need to to survive and be sated. Sadly, this is rarely described in a way that heats up MY underoos. Usually they get splotchy and turn purple and their skin swells up. Maybe if I were into liquid inflation or blueberryism that'd be hot. But it's not.
I could see it being done in an altogether different fashion, though. If the blood is consumed in a digestive fashion, rather than getting sucked into a hollow fang (I never quite bought that explanation), the vampire's stomach could swell out.
I think there are generally very few fat vampires because they often identify their victims, thralls and spawn as attractive (to them). Probably because of the whole "hunt" side of things.
One example of a closet FA vampire comes to mind. Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett-- I forget his name, but the young vampire man who woos Agnes gets teased by his sister for always picking the meatier ones. Agnes herself, of course, is described as "circumferentially challenged."
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:24 pm
Ahh yes, Agnes. ;-;
I sympathize with her character soooo much. heart
I just want to hug her and cheer her up and take her away from that trio of witches. Agnes, destiny doesn't have TOTAL control of you! Yes, Maskerade proved that you're doomed to be a witch, but you needed be a third witch, a maker of tea and a repository for verbal abuse. Go off somewhere else in the ramtops or sto plains. I dare say there's some area that could do with a competent witch.
I attribute a large portion of my seething anti-weatherwax feelings to my tendency to irrationally put all the blame for the inevitability of Agnes's third witch status on Granny.
Agnes oh Agnesl, not everyone who likes you sucks blood. Not every potential companion likes you in spite of your appearance, and I can tell you that there you've got features more intriguing than "nice hair". For love such as yours, I would gladly brave the creepy stares of a thousand stuffed animals! crying
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Fuzzy Necromancer Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 7:24 pm
Somebody has a cru-ush!
I liked Magrat better than Agnes. She was, all in all, a more competent third witch. Even after she became queen.
Still. I wish I could harmonize with myself.
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Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 6:18 pm
I think I've got a bit of a broken toy thing going on where Agnes is concerned. At least Magrat gets thrown the occaisional bone. Agnes seems to exist so that the universe has somebody to kick around when Nobby Nobs and Gaspode are busy.
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Fuzzy Necromancer Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 09, 2008 8:05 pm
Well, because she's a footstool, and not even very good at being a footstool.
Just picked up a copy of Abarat to read once I have time.
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