Welcome to Gaia! ::

Okay... here are mine x3

-There's this magical bridge, and when you jump off it and say something, you are instantly tranported to a room filled with it.

A brunette jumps off it and says "Rubies" and she's transported to a room full of rubies.

The red head jumps and says "Emeralds," and is transported to a room filled with Emeralds.

The blonde TRIPS, and on the way down she yells, "Aww Crap!"


-There's a room that makes people disappear whenever they tell a lie.

The brunette walks in and says "I think I'm the smartest person in the world," then POOF, she disappears.

The red head walks in and sayd "I think I'm the most beautiful person in the world," and POOF, she disappears.

The blonde walk in and says, "I think-" and POOF, she disappears.

I'm blond , and I consider myself very smart, but THESE ARE FUNNY SO WHATEVER!

Similar to bridge joke:
A brunette, a redhead, and a dumb blonde are trapped in the desert, dying of thirst. But then they discover a magic water slide. While sliding down it, you say the name of a liquid and you land in a pool full of it. The brunette says "water with platters of food floating in it" and lands in a pool full of water with platters of food in it. The redhead says "champagne with a hot tub full of caviar" and lands in a pool of champagne with a hot tub full of caviar. The blond says "Wheeeee!" and, well, just say that out loud and you'll probably get the picture...

Actually more of a lawyer joke:
A lawyer and a blonde sit next to each other on an airplane. The lawyer figures he can make some easy money off of the blonde's stupidity and asks her to play a game with him. They take turns asking each other questions. If someone gets a question wrong, they give the other person $5. The blonde asks the lawyer to up the stakes so he has to pay her $5000 if he gets a question wrong. Her stakes remain at $5. the lawyer agrees. Lawyer goes first: "What is the penalty in New Jersey for stealing a car?" The blonde doesn't know and gives him $5. Blonde goes next: "What is green, hangs on the wall, and whistles?" The lawyer doesn't know. He calls up all his lawyer buddies and they don't know. He researches on his handheld computer and still can't find the answer. Reluctantly, he gives the blonde $5000. She then settles down for a nap in her seat. The lawyer asks: "What was the answer?" Wordlessly, the blonde hands him $5.

TheLastToStand, you've read the book Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar, or you know someone who has.

These jokes are really funny, although I do know some really smart blondes.

Q. how do you drown a blonde?
A. you put a mirror at the bottom of the pool!

Q. why was a blonde staring at a crate of orange juice?
A. it said CONCENTRATE.

Two blondes were walking in the woods and they came upon a pair of tracks one of them said look rabbit tracks, the other said no those are deer tracks , then the train hit 'em

She was so blonde...

She got stabbed in a shoot-out.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She told me to meet her at the corner of 'walk' and 'don't walk'.

She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.

They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.

Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here', she put 'Sagittarius.'

She asked for a price docket at the Dollar Store.

If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.

She studied for a blood test... and failed.

She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.

She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.

She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.

She sold the car for gas money.






Q:What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?

A:Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.






1.Tricycle kickstand
2.Solar flashlight
3.Fire proof matches
4.Inflatable dartboard
5.Glass hammer
6.Boomerang grenade


Q. Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
A. In case she had to draw some blood




Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.




Q: How do you distract a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper




A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them."

A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."



A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."



Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.

After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."

The first said, "I wish I were smarter."

So, she became a redhead.

The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."

She became a brunette.

The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"

So, she became a man.





A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".





A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"